Engagement ring besides diamond?

[Cicero]

Originally Posted by Pie

Or an heirloom from your own family, for the proposal itself -- with the promise of a ring you'll pick out together later.

I am not kidding Monster! It is a traditional way of asking for a hand in marriage! Especially if everyone knows it's coming anyway!! I think it's great advice!!

It may not be the way you would do it. But it is certainly traditional.

Why would I say that? There are heirlooms that families may want to use like up there in the quote from pie.

Some girls want the permission from there daddies. I don't make the rules.......

[monster]

Traditional, yes. Good idea in this day and age, no. Marriage traditions in various places include dowries, female circumcision, women not keeping their own name, women using the title Mrs (as in belonging to Mr), no sex before marriage, fluffy white wedding gowns, competely shrouded bodies, childhood marriage, arranged marriage..... Not all of these traditions should be perpetuated.

Clearly the fiancee-to-be is a progressive independently-minded person to shun the tradition of a diamond. I doubt she would refuse him because he failed to "ask permission". She might if he did. So why take that risk?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Cloud

An alternative: get a nice cz, like Diamonique, if you really want to present her with a ring.

Probably not a good idea if she is adamant against diamonds. Could be a source of embarrassment, with her friends, if she's been vocally against diamonds.

[Cloud]

good point

[shina]

Shopping together is fun. My beau and I did this years ago. Unfortunately we married young and are no longer together. My ring was a pearl and very beautiful. I hope to pass it on to my neice when she marries as I do not have children.

all the best to you!

[Cicero]

Originally Posted by monster

Traditional, yes. Good idea in this day and age, no. Marriage traditions in various places include dowries, female circumcision, women not keeping their own name, women using the title Mrs (as in belonging to Mr), no sex before marriage, fluffy white wedding gowns, competely shrouded bodies, childhood marriage, arranged marriage..... Not all of these traditions should be perpetuated.

Clearly the fiancee-to-be is a progressive independently-minded person to shun the tradition of a diamond. I doubt she would refuse him because he failed to "ask permission". She might if he did. So why take that risk?

He didn't say that she was shunning a tradition, he said she didn't want a diamond. I don't think some of these traditions should be perpetuated either, keep in mind I wouldn't even let a man "give me away" so I didn't have a wedding, I personally don't like a bit of it, as it all leaves a very poor taste in my mouth.

But it is human nature for girls to love their daddies and sometimes the offense would be to not ask his permission. Depends on who it is really. Not all women are progressive and I find most to be very surprised at how I conducted my marriage arrangements despite having all the options in the world to do a traditional ownership exchange in front of god and everybody. I am as progressive as they come in that manner, but I would hate to suggest something that isn't right for someone else in their marriage. Some women are still traditional and I find the more that they ask my opinion on what their marriage should look like, and the responses I get, we are still living in the dark ages despite my feelings that most of it is dead wrong for any self-respecting woman to do.

Progressivism does a 180 when a girl gets married. No one told you? Hey whatever makes her happy. Not monster happy. Her.

Most traditional weddings make me want to vomit. But that's just me.

This guy will certainly be able to gauge if his girlfriend would like certain traditions maintained and some done away with. Depends on how much he wants to show respect to her father. The father who is more than likely not as progressive as his daughter.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by monster

women using the title Mrs (as in belonging to Mr)

I've never heard that. Do you have a cite? I've only seen "mistress of the household". And I don't think that means she "belongs" to the household.

[Cloud]

I note the O.P. hasn't commented on our vunderbar suggestions.

[Cicero]

I concur with your note Clouder.
He sounds really busy and probably will be until after the honeymoon. He's probably already gone with one decision or the other...I hope he writes back at some point, as I would like to know how it's all turning out!!

*nosey* *oddly romantic minded randomly*

[Perry Winkle]

Mrs == Mistress

[lookout123]

Originally Posted by monster

Clearly the fiancee-to-be is a progressive independently-minded person to shun the tradition of a diamond. I doubt she would refuse him because he failed to "ask permission". She might if he did. So why take that risk?

What risk? She might say no because he spoke with her parents as a nod to tradition? If she is that petty then she should be dropped at the curb and never thought of again.

[monster]

It is my opinion that you're all wrong But then most of you are American I have have to say the biggest shock I had was how "old fashioned" it is here -not that there's anything wrong with old fashioned if that makes you happy, it was just not what I expected and it still surpises me greatly every now and then.

cicero, I'm not arguing with you, just stating that I believe your advice is bad. Of course I cannot say what would make her happy, that is why I am giving my opinion based on what would make me happy. Your opinion does not have to be the same. Also, the diamond is traditional. Not wanting diamond = shunning a tradition. My words, not the OP's, never claimed as the OP's. OK?

As for the Mrs thing, yes Mrs = Mistress. Way back when in my English class I was taught that Mistress came from the word mister's as in belonging to mister. I cannot find a quick online reference to this, maybe my teacher was incorrect. I doubt it though. Especially as the "correct form" of address for a married woman is to use her husband's first name: Mrs. Richard Wembley.

Either way, that was an aside and is not relevant to the OP's query.


If asking parental permission is just a petty nod to tradition over here, of course it will do no harm. But I really cannot believe that no-one feels that some brides may want to be the first to know and may want to break the news to their parents themselves. But then I am also amazed by the number of people who keep secrets from their spouses and run to their mom or other best friend for comfort before their spouses. Horses for courses.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Whores for intercourses?

[skysidhe]

Any other stone is better than a diamond in my opinion.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Here's another way to do it.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,351328,00.html