Blondjokes

toranokaze · 10-30-2007, 01:53 PM

how to drown a blond, put a scrach n' sniff at the bottom of a pool

How do you get a on armed blond out of a tree, wave

Spexxvet · 10-30-2007, 02:04 PM

How can you tell the blonde secretary? She's the one with white out on her monitor.

toranokaze · 10-30-2007, 02:06 PM

How do you know if another blond has used her desk? There is writing on the white out

lumberjim · 10-30-2007, 02:14 PM

how do you put a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?

hold a flashlight up to her ear.

lookout123 · 10-30-2007, 04:58 PM

why do blondes wear big hoop earrings?

to help hold their ankles.

jester · 10-30-2007, 05:16 PM

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly,"Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says...

"Hi, my name is Robert, it's Winter in Indiana, and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

jester · 10-30-2007, 05:18 PM

ok - you probably already heard the one I posted previously, so..

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Cicero · 10-31-2007, 12:57 PM

If you are going to tell Blonde jokes Toran....make sure you spell Blonde right....
Holy Crap......

Shawnee123 · 10-31-2007, 01:00 PM

From Merriam-Webster Online
Main Entry: 1blond
Variant(s): or blonde \ˈbländ\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Anglo-French blunt, blound, masculine, blounde, feminine
Date: 15th century
1: of a flaxen, golden, light auburn, or pale yellowish-brown color <blond hair>; also : having blond hair <a blond man> —spelled blond when used of a boy or man and often blonde when used of a girl or woman

So, we get to substitute all women in these jokes with men. Works for me!

Cicero · 10-31-2007, 01:03 PM

Holy crap...I just gave away my sex and haircolor at the same time....

Rather disappointing.

Shawnee123 · 10-31-2007, 01:05 PM

HEY GUYS! CICERO IS GIVING AWAY HER SEX!

ZenGum · 10-31-2007, 01:17 PM

Sweet! If this keeps her busy I might yet reach 1,000 posts first!
C'mon you Stateside fellows, help me out here. And remember that Horny Moose in IotD -- 8 hours each, no less!
I had quietly noticed the spelling issue - these posters had been using blond and blonde more or less randomly ... hehehe ... note my user signature.

Cicero · 10-31-2007, 01:18 PM

Again...Rather disappointing!!

lol! Shawnee....they have to take me off ignore at least before they get any...that's how I know they aren't my husband...

ooooh. That was bad...

so. bad.

Shawnee123 · 10-31-2007, 01:49 PM

So bad, it's good.

And I really thought it was just variations on the spelling. I had no idea one was male and one was female a la the Frenchies.

10-30-2007, 01:53 PM	#1
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	Blondjokes how to drown a blond, put a scrach n' sniff at the bottom of a pool How do you get a on armed blond out of a tree, wave __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

10-30-2007, 02:04 PM	#2
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	How can you tell the blonde secretary? She's the one with white out on her monitor. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

10-30-2007, 02:06 PM	#3
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	How do you know if another blond has used her desk? There is writing on the white out __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

10-30-2007, 02:14 PM	#4
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	how do you put a twinkle in a Blonde's eye? hold a flashlight up to her ear. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-30-2007, 04:58 PM	#5
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	why do blondes wear big hoop earrings? to help hold their ankles. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

10-30-2007, 05:16 PM	#6
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly,"Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Robert, it's Winter in Indiana, and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

10-30-2007, 05:18 PM	#7
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	ok - you probably already heard the one I posted previously, so..

10-31-2007, 12:57 PM	#8
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	If you are going to tell Blonde jokes Toran....make sure you spell Blonde right.... Holy Crap...... __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

10-31-2007, 01:00 PM	#9
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	From Merriam-Webster Online Main Entry: 1blond Variant(s): or blonde \ˈbländ\ Function: adjective Etymology: Anglo-French blunt, blound, masculine, blounde, feminine Date: 15th century 1: of a flaxen, golden, light auburn, or pale yellowish-brown color <blond hair>; also : having blond hair <a blond man> —spelled blond when used of a boy or man and often blonde when used of a girl or woman So, we get to substitute all women in these jokes with men. Works for me!

10-31-2007, 01:03 PM	#10
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Holy crap...I just gave away my sex and haircolor at the same time.... Rather disappointing. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

10-31-2007, 01:05 PM	#11
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	HEY GUYS! CICERO IS GIVING AWAY HER SEX!

10-31-2007, 01:17 PM	#12
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Sweet! If this keeps her busy I might yet reach 1,000 posts first! C'mon you Stateside fellows, help me out here. And remember that Horny Moose in IotD -- 8 hours each, no less! I had quietly noticed the spelling issue - these posters had been using blond and blonde more or less randomly ... hehehe ... note my user signature. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

10-31-2007, 01:18 PM	#13
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Again...Rather disappointing!! lol! Shawnee....they have to take me off ignore at least before they get any...that's how I know they aren't my husband... ooooh. That was bad... so. bad. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

10-31-2007, 01:49 PM	#14
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	So bad, it's good. And I really thought it was just variations on the spelling. I had no idea one was male and one was female a la the Frenchies.

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