Uckity Uck Uck Uck!

[orthodoc]

Originally Posted by BigV

I don't really know where this is coming from ortho, I know you've been through a metric fuckton of crap, but I will tell you that this is not universally true. Twil is more generous and loving toward me than I've ever known, and I am moved toward better behavior, including (somewhat incredulous) gratitude, frequently affirmed and reaffirmed. Don't despair.

It's been my own experience and observation - but maybe my 'n = 1' study is skewed. But I'm glad to hear it's not universally true. What you describe is what I would've taken to be the norm, the expected - that when two people are loving and generous toward each other it inspires an increase of the same behaviors, not a sea change into something out of a horror movie. Or at least into a sad drama.

So, I won't despair. Maybe, when it works between two people, it's easy and there isn't the need for careful game-playing and renegotiating? That would be nice. Because as Zen said, I don't see myself that way.

[limey]

Originally Posted by orthodoc

...when it works between two people ... there isn't the need for careful game-playing and renegotiating ....

This is possible. But it's not easy.

[BigV]

It is possible. It is not easy, but other things you love are not easy, like being a parent. Still worth it.