I wrote this story..... Uh Oh!!

Sun_Sparkz · 09-28-2005, 02:31 AM

I wrote this after feeling a bit angry with some of the local farmers cuz they were giving me hell about some accounts i was calling them for (owing our company money). And i entered it (on a whim of the momento..) into a short story writing comp. on my favourite national radio station. it was an easy email entrant to easy to refuse. and there was a few ticker boxes waving your privacy right and they can use the story however they want ra ra ra. i thought theyd just delete it... Ive written better stories on the cellar for goodness sake.

I got a call last week from one of the judges saying she loved and and it was in the top 3 entrants!! i was shocked. now its gonna be online and on radio to be voted for. its just a rant. But worst of all.. all the locals here might here it and well.. slaughter me for baggin them!!

Have a read.. tell me honestly.. Am I Dead?!?!?

_________________________________________________________________

"Friendly Country People"

Spending most of my life living on the beach orientated, relaxed central coast of Australia, when my Partner and I moved to the country in the beginning of 2005, numerous things about the way of life out here disturbed me, and set my perspective of these "country bumpkins" out the window.

Driving along the roads here I was constantly shocked to see the amount of road kill that had only been "injured" and still left to die, or the amount that had been hit, and left in the middle of the road, I cannot count the amount of close calls I have had because my 2 door excel has to swerve out of the road of a huge, 6 foot big red lying there on the road. And additionally, as I came to know many farmers and farmers alike, I was shocked at their treatment of their own animals. I mean.. I was raised to believe these country people lived for animals.. aren't animals the heart of the Australian bush? seemingly not. As I spent a little longer I realised the "fantasy" ideals I had carried with me from the coast, were soon to be squashed by the hardened morale of these countryites. I am now lead to believe that the heart of the Australian bush may just be XXXX, VB and talking rubbish with a "mate" who will buy you more XXXX and VB.

Upon first sight of so much animal disrespect I thought about how to change such a tragedy.. perhaps an advertising campaign? early childhood intervention? I even wrote a song about what to do if you hit a kangaroo. It could even be the next "fence the pool.. shut the gate"

*to the same tune*

"if you hit a roo, drag it off the road,

make sure its dead and check its pouch."

Can you just imagine John Howard demonstrating that one with 50 primary school kids surrounding him dong the actions of dragging a roo off the road. maybe we could accessorize with shovels?!

Also I would like to reinforce the fact that farm animals have feelings too. I am just a coastal girl after all is said and done, and my income relies on a rural real estate wage, but it definitely goes against all normality in my opinion to shear 100 sheep in crowded stock yard while about 15 of them are in the process of giving birth, so that almost every lamb born that day, or every other lamb under 1 moth old in the yard, is trampled to death, or at least some kind of death by its 100 "stupid" peers. Sheep aren't stupid. People are stupid, for putting them in dangerous situations.

Oh and for the "cowboys" = drive sensibly for gods sake. Turn OFF your high beams and 150 thousand mounted driving/ shooting lights when I pass you on the highway, and if you delight so much in shooting animals for fun on the weekends, please don't do it half cut on Tooheys and when you shoot it, KILL IT. And if you miss a vital point and its wriggling around, shoot it again!!

In conclusion, my experiences since moving to the country from the coast have only served to increase my love, and respect for our animal friends, Who continue to feed, love and provide for us.. however cruel we are. And to the "Friendly country folk" - enjoy your grog, "hard times in drought" (yet $50,000 land cruiser driving) lifestyles. I hope your animals never learn to speak and operate heavy machinery.

Sun_Sparkz · 10-07-2005, 01:22 AM

Just got a second call from the radio in Melbourne.. its gone NATIONAL!!

I am kinda worried because i think the story is shithouse.. its just an angry rant. i hope they arent like going to slaughter me, but it is a nice little prize package so i'm not pulling it out.. wait and see i guess,,

jinx · 10-07-2005, 05:52 AM

good job. and yes...never pull it out.

Trilby · 10-07-2005, 06:22 AM

Congrats, Sun Sparkz! Too cool!

plthijinx · 10-07-2005, 09:31 AM

wow, very good story actually sparkz. question, maybe it's the hangover preventing me from understanding but what is "VB"?

Clodfobble · 10-07-2005, 10:13 AM

Congratulations, Sun_Sparkz! Is the prize package an actual prize, or is it something like "3 days and 2 nights at one of these fine resorts?"

footfootfoot · 10-07-2005, 11:00 AM

Well done Sparkz, Are we looking at Australia's next (female) Dave Barry?
Wrangle a weekly column out of them, get it syndicated, write a few books and you'll be farting through silk!

Nightsong · 10-07-2005, 08:48 PM

I like it. And you have a point with the weekender crap. The area I am in is heavy with golf courses and hunting clubs. Personally I hunt golfers but still, I have nothing against sport hunting but I still think something should be made of the kill. Meat for eating or skins ect. I really hate the thought when people just shot an animal just so they can say they kiled it and the body is just left to rot.

Sun_Sparkz · 10-09-2005, 10:26 PM

Thanks for all your posotive feedback guys you have calmed me down A LOT.

I am still worried however, I mean, farmers dont take too kindly to bitchy little animal liberation hippies out here and i am a little frightened of being burnt at the stake!

I won.

yep.. just got the call.. im FREAKIN OUT! i have to go down to ABC and record the whole story and do an interview. i think ill move!

The prize so far is a leadership 4 day accredited course. A big wig dinner thing with all the poloticians in my countries Capital Territory at the parliament house and a holiday.

SHIT!!

the place i work in is a rural estate agency, we sell and buy livestock, rural farms and agistment.. basically everything country. When this goes on local ABC radio.. ALL my clients will hear this and think im saying it about them. i am SO scared... i dont know what to do!!

Sun_Sparkz · 10-09-2005, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plthijinx

wow, very good story actually sparkz. question, maybe it's the hangover preventing me from understanding but what is "VB"?

VB stands for Victorian Bitter - its a beer. as is XXXX (four X) which is a Queenslander beer.

They drink a LOT of it out here!

09-28-2005, 02:31 AM	#1
Sun_Sparkz Has Body Temperature Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I come from a land downunder Posts: 1,105	I wrote this story..... Uh Oh!! I wrote this after feeling a bit angry with some of the local farmers cuz they were giving me hell about some accounts i was calling them for (owing our company money). And i entered it (on a whim of the momento..) into a short story writing comp. on my favourite national radio station. it was an easy email entrant to easy to refuse. and there was a few ticker boxes waving your privacy right and they can use the story however they want ra ra ra. i thought theyd just delete it... Ive written better stories on the cellar for goodness sake. I got a call last week from one of the judges saying she loved and and it was in the top 3 entrants!! i was shocked. now its gonna be online and on radio to be voted for. its just a rant. But worst of all.. all the locals here might here it and well.. slaughter me for baggin them!! Have a read.. tell me honestly.. Am I Dead?!?!? _________________________________________________________________ "Friendly Country People" Spending most of my life living on the beach orientated, relaxed central coast of Australia, when my Partner and I moved to the country in the beginning of 2005, numerous things about the way of life out here disturbed me, and set my perspective of these "country bumpkins" out the window. Driving along the roads here I was constantly shocked to see the amount of road kill that had only been "injured" and still left to die, or the amount that had been hit, and left in the middle of the road, I cannot count the amount of close calls I have had because my 2 door excel has to swerve out of the road of a huge, 6 foot big red lying there on the road. And additionally, as I came to know many farmers and farmers alike, I was shocked at their treatment of their own animals. I mean.. I was raised to believe these country people lived for animals.. aren't animals the heart of the Australian bush? seemingly not. As I spent a little longer I realised the "fantasy" ideals I had carried with me from the coast, were soon to be squashed by the hardened morale of these countryites. I am now lead to believe that the heart of the Australian bush may just be XXXX, VB and talking rubbish with a "mate" who will buy you more XXXX and VB. Upon first sight of so much animal disrespect I thought about how to change such a tragedy.. perhaps an advertising campaign? early childhood intervention? I even wrote a song about what to do if you hit a kangaroo. It could even be the next "fence the pool.. shut the gate" to the same tune "if you hit a roo, drag it off the road, make sure its dead and check its pouch." Can you just imagine John Howard demonstrating that one with 50 primary school kids surrounding him dong the actions of dragging a roo off the road. maybe we could accessorize with shovels?! Also I would like to reinforce the fact that farm animals have feelings too. I am just a coastal girl after all is said and done, and my income relies on a rural real estate wage, but it definitely goes against all normality in my opinion to shear 100 sheep in crowded stock yard while about 15 of them are in the process of giving birth, so that almost every lamb born that day, or every other lamb under 1 moth old in the yard, is trampled to death, or at least some kind of death by its 100 "stupid" peers. Sheep aren't stupid. People are stupid, for putting them in dangerous situations. Oh and for the "cowboys" = drive sensibly for gods sake. Turn OFF your high beams and 150 thousand mounted driving/ shooting lights when I pass you on the highway, and if you delight so much in shooting animals for fun on the weekends, please don't do it half cut on Tooheys and when you shoot it, KILL IT. And if you miss a vital point and its wriggling around, shoot it again!! In conclusion, my experiences since moving to the country from the coast have only served to increase my love, and respect for our animal friends, Who continue to feed, love and provide for us.. however cruel we are. And to the "Friendly country folk" - enjoy your grog, "hard times in drought" (yet $50,000 land cruiser driving) lifestyles. I hope your animals never learn to speak and operate heavy machinery. __________________ We'll never be as young as we are right now

10-07-2005, 01:22 AM	#2
Sun_Sparkz Has Body Temperature Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I come from a land downunder Posts: 1,105	Just got a second call from the radio in Melbourne.. its gone NATIONAL!! I am kinda worried because i think the story is shithouse.. its just an angry rant. i hope they arent like going to slaughter me, but it is a nice little prize package so i'm not pulling it out.. wait and see i guess,, __________________ We'll never be as young as we are right now

10-07-2005, 05:52 AM	#3
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	good job. and yes...never pull it out. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

10-07-2005, 06:22 AM	#4
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Congrats, Sun Sparkz! Too cool! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-07-2005, 09:31 AM	#5
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	wow, very good story actually sparkz. question, maybe it's the hangover preventing me from understanding but what is "VB"? __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

10-07-2005, 10:13 AM	#6
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Congratulations, Sun_Sparkz! Is the prize package an actual prize, or is it something like "3 days and 2 nights at one of these fine resorts?"

10-07-2005, 11:00 AM	#7
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Well done Sparkz, Are we looking at Australia's next (female) Dave Barry? Wrangle a weekly column out of them, get it syndicated, write a few books and you'll be farting through silk! __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-07-2005, 08:48 PM	#8
Nightsong Wang Dude Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: South Carolina Posts: 177	I like it. And you have a point with the weekender crap. The area I am in is heavy with golf courses and hunting clubs. Personally I hunt golfers but still, I have nothing against sport hunting but I still think something should be made of the kill. Meat for eating or skins ect. I really hate the thought when people just shot an animal just so they can say they kiled it and the body is just left to rot.

10-09-2005, 10:26 PM	#9
Sun_Sparkz Has Body Temperature Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I come from a land downunder Posts: 1,105	Thanks for all your posotive feedback guys you have calmed me down A LOT. I am still worried however, I mean, farmers dont take too kindly to bitchy little animal liberation hippies out here and i am a little frightened of being burnt at the stake! I won. yep.. just got the call.. im FREAKIN OUT! i have to go down to ABC and record the whole story and do an interview. i think ill move! The prize so far is a leadership 4 day accredited course. A big wig dinner thing with all the poloticians in my countries Capital Territory at the parliament house and a holiday. SHIT!! the place i work in is a rural estate agency, we sell and buy livestock, rural farms and agistment.. basically everything country. When this goes on local ABC radio.. ALL my clients will hear this and think im saying it about them. i am SO scared... i dont know what to do!! __________________ We'll never be as young as we are right now

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