Lover and/or Best Friend?

Spectacle · 11-03-2008, 12:44 AM

Do you think it is better for your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/lover to also be your best friend? Or is it better for them to just be your significant other.

Explain too, please.

Aliantha · 11-03-2008, 12:50 AM

I don't know how anyone else would define their relationship, but I know my husband is also my best friend. He's the one I want to tell everything to, and do everything with. He's the one I turn to when I can't cope and he's the one I yell at when I'm at my witts end. He's also the one who forgives all my faults and loves me in spite of them...and sometimes because of them. He understands me and makes my life easier by just being in it.

I love him. I feel passionate about him. I respect him. I like him.

I can't imagine life without him. I was lonely before even though my life was filled with love and family. Now I never really feel alone even when he's not beside me (which is often). He's a presence in my life that is enduring and comforting just to think about.

He's my lover, and he's my best friend.

eta: I have to add also that I've had 'great loves' in my life before. It wasn't the same though. I was passionate about them and enjoyed being with them, but there was always things I kept to myself. I don't really know why or what is different with my husband, but I just don't even think about not telling him things. It's like if I don't tell him I'm doing something wrong.

It's this difference that makes me know that this relationship is rock solid. I never felt so sure of my own individual future until I decided to share it with Daryl.

Spectacle · 11-03-2008, 12:59 AM

Style points Ali!

Aliantha · 11-03-2008, 01:02 AM

You might have to explain that statement. lol I don't quite understand. (maybe I'm having a Cicero moment)

Spectacle · 11-03-2008, 01:02 AM

It was a great post, that's all,

Aliantha · 11-03-2008, 01:10 AM

Oh right. lol Thanks. It was just from the heart though. I meant every word.

ZenGum · 11-03-2008, 01:52 AM

55% of men say that their lover is their best friend.

62% of men say that man's best friend is his dog.

This sounds unwholesome to me.

Aliantha · 11-03-2008, 01:58 AM

So 7% of men are into beastiality?

Sounds about right to me.

ZenGum · 11-03-2008, 02:11 AM

At least 7%.

kerosene · 11-03-2008, 09:38 AM

My husband is also my best friend. Pretty much everything that Ali said is true for me, only I don't write as eloquently. I can't imagine it any other way.

Sundae · 11-03-2008, 10:02 AM

I have neither.
Probably don't deserve them.

kerosene · 11-03-2008, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Probably don't deserve them.

I know I certainly don't

TheMercenary · 11-03-2008, 11:26 AM

I don't think you need to be best friends to be lovers, but you need to be best friends to be married.

lumberjim · 11-03-2008, 11:51 AM

i think it goes without saying in my case.

Juniper · 11-03-2008, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

I have neither.
Probably don't deserve them.

SG, what a ridiculous thing to say. I hope you don't mean that, because it couldn't be less true.

View Poll Results: Significant and...
nothing more	1	3.33%
best friend	25	83.33%
does not matter	4	13.33%
Voters: 30. You may not vote on this poll

11-03-2008, 12:44 AM	#1
Spectacle Observing the Wine Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 85	Lover and/or Best Friend? Do you think it is better for your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/lover to also be your best friend? Or is it better for them to just be your significant other. Explain too, please. __________________ I see.

11-03-2008, 12:50 AM	#2
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I don't know how anyone else would define their relationship, but I know my husband is also my best friend. He's the one I want to tell everything to, and do everything with. He's the one I turn to when I can't cope and he's the one I yell at when I'm at my witts end. He's also the one who forgives all my faults and loves me in spite of them...and sometimes because of them. He understands me and makes my life easier by just being in it. I love him. I feel passionate about him. I respect him. I like him. I can't imagine life without him. I was lonely before even though my life was filled with love and family. Now I never really feel alone even when he's not beside me (which is often). He's a presence in my life that is enduring and comforting just to think about. He's my lover, and he's my best friend. eta: I have to add also that I've had 'great loves' in my life before. It wasn't the same though. I was passionate about them and enjoyed being with them, but there was always things I kept to myself. I don't really know why or what is different with my husband, but I just don't even think about not telling him things. It's like if I don't tell him I'm doing something wrong. It's this difference that makes me know that this relationship is rock solid. I never felt so sure of my own individual future until I decided to share it with Daryl. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber Last edited by Aliantha; 11-03-2008 at 12:55 AM.

11-03-2008, 12:59 AM	#3
Spectacle Observing the Wine Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 85	Style points Ali! __________________ I see.

11-03-2008, 01:02 AM	#4
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	You might have to explain that statement. lol I don't quite understand. (maybe I'm having a Cicero moment) __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-03-2008, 01:02 AM	#5
Spectacle Observing the Wine Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 85	It was a great post, that's all, __________________ I see.

11-03-2008, 01:10 AM	#6
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Oh right. lol Thanks. It was just from the heart though. I meant every word. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-03-2008, 01:52 AM	#7
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	55% of men say that their lover is their best friend. 62% of men say that man's best friend is his dog. This sounds unwholesome to me. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

11-03-2008, 01:58 AM	#8
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	So 7% of men are into beastiality? Sounds about right to me. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-03-2008, 02:11 AM	#9
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	At least 7%. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

11-03-2008, 09:38 AM	#10
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	My husband is also my best friend. Pretty much everything that Ali said is true for me, only I don't write as eloquently. I can't imagine it any other way.

11-03-2008, 10:02 AM	#11
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I have neither. Probably don't deserve them.

11-03-2008, 11:26 AM	#13
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	I don't think you need to be best friends to be lovers, but you need to be best friends to be married. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

11-03-2008, 11:51 AM	#14
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	i think it goes without saying in my case. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

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