What's mildly amusing you today? - Page 65

Pete Zicato · 01-03-2013, 10:03 AM

Check with the local police. I bet they steal stuff while they're in your house.

Chocolatl · 01-03-2013, 12:14 PM

I thought that, too. Or that they'd be scoping it out to see what they could come back for.

My dogs want to enthusiastically greet anyone who rings the doorbell, but they sound like murderous beasts, so it discourages a fair number of sales people and/or would be thieves.

Sundae · 01-03-2013, 01:23 PM

I was once visited by a door to door fish salesman.
He seemed legit, but when he went through his stock list, the minimum quantities were basically catering size packs.

I wondered afterwards if he'd been let down by a local pub or restaurant and was reduced to hawking his wares before they began to smell. No jokes about being fishy please.

jimhelm · 01-03-2013, 01:42 PM

Holy Mackerel. I hope to Cod you didn't buy any!

Chocolatl · 01-10-2013, 07:49 PM

Problem: Dog nudges open garage door.
Solution: Make sure door is clicked shut.
Problem: Dog learns to purposefully open garage door.
Solution: Close laundry room door to keep him from garage door.
Problem: Dog learns to open all doors with swift confidence and cannot be deterred from entering the garage or rooms with napping babies in them.
Solution:

?!?!

We're switching out our lever-style door handles on the two problem doors for round ones this weekend.

Clodfobble · 01-10-2013, 08:48 PM

You should thank him--he's just preparing you for when Bean can do the same.

They do make "baby locks" for lever handles, by the way. But they suck. I've seen more than one kid defeat them in under 30 seconds. The knob covers for round knobs are pretty effective, though. At least for dogs. Extremely intrepid children may figure out how to rip them in half, but supergluing the halves together should prevent that.

But when you really, really need the door to stay shut, this is the king of all door locks. Trust me.

Chocolatl · 01-18-2013, 10:30 AM

Today I am amused by some good troll work on Reddit.

The original question was "What's a secret you've sworn never to tell, but will gladly share anonymously on the internet?" The troll in question simply posted coordinates of a remote spot in the woods, leading others to wonder what was there...

(The original post did not include the image with the cipher that reveals it's all BS.)

Clodfobble · 02-21-2013, 07:40 AM

"With this new route, their pickup time is going to be 7:15," the bus monitor says to me earnestly... at 7:30 this morning.

Sure it is, dear. Sure it is. As if their official pickup time has ever had any bearing on what time the bus shows up. 7:15 is actually when they had been showing up recently--but that was when their official time was something like 6:50.

Aliantha · 02-28-2013, 08:26 PM

Eva has discovered her own reflection this morning and is now mesmerised every time she scoots past a reflective surface or mirror. She's never been so quiet. lol It's funny.

Pete Zicato · 03-01-2013, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocolatl

The original question was "What's a secret you've sworn never to tell, but will gladly share anonymously on the internet?"

This is the whole point of postsecret.com. It's an interesting site. Check it out.

Chocolatl · 03-01-2013, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete Zicato

This is the whole point of postsecret.com. It's an interesting site. Check it out.

I love Postsecret. I check it first thing in the morning on Sundays!

limey · 03-01-2013, 02:58 PM

I check it every Sunday.

Sent by thought transference

ZenGum · 03-01-2013, 06:10 PM

Sundays? what is it, e-confessional?

Sundae · 03-02-2013, 03:07 AM

No, she means Sundae.
(PS I've never confessed on a Sunday - Saturdays are more common here)

monster · 03-12-2013, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

This email I just sent to Hector's teachers and the school secretary about him missing school tomorrow:

Teachers, cc: School Secretay

Hector will not be in school tomorrow (Friday). He has a series of appointments with a team of petrified dihydrogen monoxide specialists, as we previously discussed.

have a great weekend.

Monster

It amuses me greatly

And I am happy he's in a school where I can do this.

And today, to excuse the boys early from school on Friday:

"They will be attending a conference on regional differences in aggression in female aquatic athletes."

I slay me

01-03-2013, 10:03 AM	#961
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	Check with the local police. I bet they steal stuff while they're in your house. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

01-03-2013, 01:23 PM	#963
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I was once visited by a door to door fish salesman. He seemed legit, but when he went through his stock list, the minimum quantities were basically catering size packs. I wondered afterwards if he'd been let down by a local pub or restaurant and was reduced to hawking his wares before they began to smell. No jokes about being fishy please. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

01-03-2013, 01:42 PM	#964
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	Holy Mackerel. I hope to Cod you didn't buy any! __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

01-10-2013, 08:48 PM	#966
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	You should thank him--he's just preparing you for when Bean can do the same. They do make "baby locks" for lever handles, by the way. But they suck. I've seen more than one kid defeat them in under 30 seconds. The knob covers for round knobs are pretty effective, though. At least for dogs. Extremely intrepid children may figure out how to rip them in half, but supergluing the halves together should prevent that. But when you really, really need the door to stay shut, this is the king of all door locks. Trust me. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

02-21-2013, 07:40 AM	#968
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	"With this new route, their pickup time is going to be 7:15," the bus monitor says to me earnestly... at 7:30 this morning. Sure it is, dear. Sure it is. As if their official pickup time has ever had any bearing on what time the bus shows up. 7:15 is actually when they had been showing up recently--but that was when their official time was something like 6:50. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

01-03-2013, 12:14 PM	#962
Chocolatl Glutton for Gluttony Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,409	I thought that, too. Or that they'd be scoping it out to see what they could come back for. My dogs want to enthusiastically greet anyone who rings the doorbell, but they sound like murderous beasts, so it discourages a fair number of sales people and/or would be thieves.

01-10-2013, 07:49 PM	#965
Chocolatl Glutton for Gluttony Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,409	Problem: Dog nudges open garage door. Solution: Make sure door is clicked shut. Problem: Dog learns to purposefully open garage door. Solution: Close laundry room door to keep him from garage door. Problem: Dog learns to open all doors with swift confidence and cannot be deterred from entering the garage or rooms with napping babies in them. Solution: ?!?! We're switching out our lever-style door handles on the two problem doors for round ones this weekend.

01-18-2013, 10:30 AM	#967
Chocolatl Glutton for Gluttony Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,409	Today I am amused by some good troll work on Reddit. The original question was "What's a secret you've sworn never to tell, but will gladly share anonymously on the internet?" The troll in question simply posted coordinates of a remote spot in the woods, leading others to wonder what was there... (The original post did not include the image with the cipher that reveals it's all BS.)

02-28-2013, 08:26 PM	#969
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Eva has discovered her own reflection this morning and is now mesmerised every time she scoots past a reflective surface or mirror. She's never been so quiet. lol It's funny. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

03-01-2013, 02:58 PM	#972
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	I check it every Sunday. Sent by thought transference __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

03-01-2013, 06:10 PM	#973
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Sundays? what is it, e-confessional? __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

03-02-2013, 03:07 AM	#974
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	No, she means Sundae. (PS I've never confessed on a Sunday - Saturdays are more common here) __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

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