How far is too far? - Page 2

Pie · 05-12-2009, 12:57 PM

Me four. Though I have snuck the occasional look into the nsfw thread (morbid curiosity?)

Queen of the Ryche · 05-12-2009, 12:59 PM

I go tot he WTF NSFW thread, cuz they're strangers. My SO and I are okay with looking at other people naked, as long as we don't knwo them. Is that strange?

Big Red · 05-12-2009, 01:42 PM

I should probably stay out of this as people have lost a lot a respect towards me but I would like two put my 2 cents in on this matter.
I do respect the women that do post in the nsfw forum as they have worked very hard on their bodies and they should have the right to post them with there significant other or spouse knowing about it. Usually if they are doing that boundaries are set and they should be respected.

Flint · 05-12-2009, 05:04 PM

You're fat!

See, that was too far. /thread

Aliantha · 05-12-2009, 06:05 PM

So, it would seem that from the responses here, most people consider how their partner will feel about what they're doing and act accordingly, even though some of us have more relaxed views about nudity and publicly sharing it.

I'm actually surprised that no one has said they'd do it or would if they wanted to, and bugger what their partner thinks because it's their body and their partner should have to learn how to deal with it. Is there no one here that feels that way???

Aliantha · 05-12-2009, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Red

I should probably stay out of this as people have lost a lot a respect towards me but I would like two put my 2 cents in on this matter.
I do respect the women that do post in the nsfw forum as they have worked very hard on their bodies and they should have the right to post them with there significant other or spouse knowing about it. Usually if they are doing that boundaries are set and they should be respected.

Red, when people are emotional they sometimes do and say things they'd otherwise try to keep to themselves. I'm sure most of us here can understand the anguish you and labrat have been going through lately. Most of us have been cheated on before, and I'm pretty sure that's how you're feeling, and labrat is feeling remorse because she probably thinks in a way that's what she's done. I say these things for those who seem to think your actions have been unreasonable. You've apologized for the things you did and said which were inappropriate. I think that means it should be left at that for now and you should be given the opportunity to move forward from this, with the support from all of us for your marriage that you must surely need right now.

lumberjim · 05-12-2009, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

I've pretty much stayed out of the Dwellar NSFW threads, because I know my wife wouldn't appreciate me even reading it, let alone posting anything in it.

well, aren't you just Mr Perfect Husband Pants?

Stormieweather · 05-12-2009, 06:53 PM

I'm not going to go into too much detail, because this is a public forum, but I've been in shoes similar to Labrat's. Quite a few years ago, I was on some risque forums along with my partner, and we posted NSF pics of us individually and together. We did not communicate the boundaries clearly enough, I suppose, or maybe I deliberately misinterpreted them (in a pickled brain sort of way).

Interactions were had one-on-one in cyberspace that should never have happened.

It nearly ended our relationship, but I swore not to interact privately anymore, or post NSF pictures. I unjoined all of the communities involved. I also quit drinking, as my judgment had clearly been impaired. I've never broken the promises I made them, including not touching another drop of alcohol. He made similar promises. That was 6 years ago.

I am not a prude and there are some very NSF pics of me (and us) floating around cyberspace, but I do believe that my relationship is more important that posting pics to strangers.

I can say that a simple photo, text, IM, or chat has the potential to evolve into something that might hurt ones partner unless you're careful and communicate clearly with one another.

glatt · 05-12-2009, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

well, aren't you just Mr Perfect Husband Pants?

I could do better.

Pooka · 05-12-2009, 07:28 PM

I agree... best to have clearly defined boundries... well communicated and not leave your partner in the dark about what is going on... I think thats where the problem occurs... it becomes a secret thing and that can destroy trust... as long as it is all out in the open whats the big deal.

Personally- Flint and I have no secrets... so its all cool. I know about Pretty Much everything and so does he... so its all cool

05-12-2009, 08:17 PM

I've mostly been in monogamous relationships, and I've also been poly. IMO the most important things in any type of relationship are honesty and communication.

That said, I've never thought twice about posting NSFW pics of myself and I've never discussed it with my partners. I would, honestly, have been stunned if, in my monogamous relationships, my SO had found out and objected. By "stunned" I don't mean I would think they were wrong... it's just never occurred to me that they might have a proprietary sense about images of my body.

That stands for publicly posted, non-sexually-graphic images... simple nudes or other provocative photos.

Private messages are another topic. That opens a one-on-one relationship with the recipient that, for me, would require discussion and disclosure with the SO.

In my own relationships, deception has been the most painful and destructive thing I've encountered. It's often really tempting to tell your partner what you know they want to hear, and then do what you want to do under the "what they don't know won't hurt them" theory. Unfortunately, that theory is deeply flawed; what they don't know hurts the relationship, and both people in it.

DucksNuts · 05-12-2009, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Red

I should probably stay out of this as people have lost a lot a respect towards me but I would like two put my 2 cents in on this matter.
I do respect the women that do post in the nsfw forum as they have worked very hard on their bodies and they should have the right to post them with there significant other or spouse knowing about it. Usually if they are doing that boundaries are set and they should be respected.

I dont think many have lost any respect for you, Red. I think there is more concern for you guys than there are untoward feelings.

To me personal NSFW is all about context.....my partner is fine with a random picture of my arse or boobs, but a full length picture of me with a face and doing bad things.....thats personal

xoxoxoBruce · 05-13-2009, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Queen of the Ryche

I've stayed away from the NSFW threads too because I like the smiley people I know in the RFN thread, etc.

I'd like to stay away, but it's part of the job.

capnhowdy · 05-13-2009, 04:20 PM

That was good, Bruce. Very good.

Queen of the Ryche · 05-14-2009, 11:48 AM

It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.........

05-12-2009, 12:57 PM	#16
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Me four. Though I have snuck the occasional look into the nsfw thread (morbid curiosity?) __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

05-12-2009, 12:59 PM	#17
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	I go tot he WTF NSFW thread, cuz they're strangers. My SO and I are okay with looking at other people naked, as long as we don't knwo them. Is that strange? __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

05-12-2009, 05:04 PM	#19
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	You're fat! See, that was too far. /thread __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

05-12-2009, 06:05 PM	#20
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	So, it would seem that from the responses here, most people consider how their partner will feel about what they're doing and act accordingly, even though some of us have more relaxed views about nudity and publicly sharing it. I'm actually surprised that no one has said they'd do it or would if they wanted to, and bugger what their partner thinks because it's their body and their partner should have to learn how to deal with it. Is there no one here that feels that way??? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-12-2009, 06:53 PM	#23
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	I'm not going to go into too much detail, because this is a public forum, but I've been in shoes similar to Labrat's. Quite a few years ago, I was on some risque forums along with my partner, and we posted NSF pics of us individually and together. We did not communicate the boundaries clearly enough, I suppose, or maybe I deliberately misinterpreted them (in a pickled brain sort of way). Interactions were had one-on-one in cyberspace that should never have happened. It nearly ended our relationship, but I swore not to interact privately anymore, or post NSF pictures. I unjoined all of the communities involved. I also quit drinking, as my judgment had clearly been impaired. I've never broken the promises I made them, including not touching another drop of alcohol. He made similar promises. That was 6 years ago. I am not a prude and there are some very NSF pics of me (and us) floating around cyberspace, but I do believe that my relationship is more important that posting pics to strangers. I can say that a simple photo, text, IM, or chat has the potential to evolve into something that might hurt ones partner unless you're careful and communicate clearly with one another. __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

05-12-2009, 01:42 PM	#18
Big Red Fresh Incumbent Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Iowa Posts: 28	I should probably stay out of this as people have lost a lot a respect towards me but I would like two put my 2 cents in on this matter. I do respect the women that do post in the nsfw forum as they have worked very hard on their bodies and they should have the right to post them with there significant other or spouse knowing about it. Usually if they are doing that boundaries are set and they should be respected.

05-12-2009, 07:28 PM	#25
Pooka Your Invisible Rabbit Friend Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Betwixt and Between Posts: 528	I agree... best to have clearly defined boundries... well communicated and not leave your partner in the dark about what is going on... I think thats where the problem occurs... it becomes a secret thing and that can destroy trust... as long as it is all out in the open whats the big deal. Personally- Flint and I have no secrets... so its all cool. I know about Pretty Much everything and so does he... so its all cool

05-12-2009, 08:17 PM	#26
Tiki Guest Posts: n/a	I've mostly been in monogamous relationships, and I've also been poly. IMO the most important things in any type of relationship are honesty and communication. That said, I've never thought twice about posting NSFW pics of myself and I've never discussed it with my partners. I would, honestly, have been stunned if, in my monogamous relationships, my SO had found out and objected. By "stunned" I don't mean I would think they were wrong... it's just never occurred to me that they might have a proprietary sense about images of my body. That stands for publicly posted, non-sexually-graphic images... simple nudes or other provocative photos. Private messages are another topic. That opens a one-on-one relationship with the recipient that, for me, would require discussion and disclosure with the SO. In my own relationships, deception has been the most painful and destructive thing I've encountered. It's often really tempting to tell your partner what you know they want to hear, and then do what you want to do under the "what they don't know won't hurt them" theory. Unfortunately, that theory is deeply flawed; what they don't know hurts the relationship, and both people in it.

05-13-2009, 04:20 PM	#29
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	That was good, Bruce. Very good. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

05-14-2009, 11:48 AM	#30
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it......... __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

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