Getting a locksmith on the flat earth

Undertoad · 10-18-2007, 10:23 AM

I was locked out of my house on Tuesday.

I used google maps to find the locksmith closest to me, in Eagleville.

(Eagleville is three miles away.)

Called the number listed, and went through a series of ring-throughs until automation came on: select 1 if you are a new customer, 2 if you are a previous customer.

Ring-throughs again, to another automation: select 1 if you need immediate service, select 2 if you are a business with a contract.

Rings to a live human, who can barely speak English. He takes my name, address and telephone number. He cannot hear well enough for me to spell my last name. After he takes all my information, his "computer crashes" and he has to take it all again.

He then puts me on hold, and the hold music is a radio station. It plays some ads for places I'm not familiar with, and then announces that it's 101.5, Tampa Bay.

(Tampa Bay is 800 miles away.)

The guy comes back on to tell me that he has found a locksmith for me and located my address, and the locksmith will be at my house in 20 minutes, and will call 10 minutes out to verify. OK.

Wait 25 minutes, and the locksmith calls. The caller-id reports his area code as 702. Nevada.

(Nevada is 2000 miles away.)

In a thick Arabic accent, he asks for my cross-streets. He figures out where I am, apologizes for being late and says he'll be there in ten minutes. And sure enough he does show in ten more minutes, and proceeds to open the door in 5 seconds. As much as I've heard it takes a good locksmith only seconds to pick the house locks, it's always amazing to see. In his thick Arabic accent he again apologizes for being late, and explains that he had to drive up from Philly.

(Philly is 15 miles and one extremely crowded highway away).

The total price for the service is $149.

Spexxvet · 10-18-2007, 10:32 AM

Sounds like globalization on a local level.

lumberjim · 10-18-2007, 10:35 AM

locked out?...what happened....was there a staple lodged in the screen door lock or something?

Flint · 10-18-2007, 10:36 AM

oooh that's so cool and inside because the n00bs won't know what you're talking about

Undertoad · 10-18-2007, 10:42 AM

Getting locked out is what happens to you when you only use remote garage door openers for 15 years, forget about your usual front door key, and then one day your power is out for an indefinite period of time.

lumberjim · 10-18-2007, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

oooh that's so cool and inside because the n00bs won't know what you're talking about

why don't you go cuddle with spexxvet or robsterboy?

Spexxvet · 10-18-2007, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

why don't you go cuddle with spexxvet or robsterboy?

Because he'd have to take his dick out of your ass.

Spexxvet · 10-18-2007, 10:58 AM

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

lumberjim · 10-18-2007, 11:01 AM

yeah...i started it in this thread....sorry T. I am very weak.

ZenGum · 10-18-2007, 01:58 PM

I want to know how UT used google maps if he was locked out.
I have no doubt he is possessed of technological superpowers, but assuming his computers are inside...

But the story of technology being at once brilliant and stupid ... yeah that sounds plausible.

BigV · 10-18-2007, 02:00 PM

Not all the computers were inside.

plus, it says ip phones to me.

Undertoad · 10-18-2007, 02:17 PM

I was at work when I looked for a locksmith, but you know, I also have Google Maps on my Smartphone.

BigV · 10-18-2007, 03:04 PM

xoxoxoBruce · 10-18-2007, 10:00 PM

So now you've hidden a key, right?

Urbane Guerrilla · 10-19-2007, 04:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

I am very weak.

Lumberjim, have you spent time in Turkey? That is the exact phrase they use to apologize for something.

10-18-2007, 10:23 AM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Getting a locksmith on the flat earth I was locked out of my house on Tuesday. I used google maps to find the locksmith closest to me, in Eagleville. (Eagleville is three miles away.) Called the number listed, and went through a series of ring-throughs until automation came on: select 1 if you are a new customer, 2 if you are a previous customer. Ring-throughs again, to another automation: select 1 if you need immediate service, select 2 if you are a business with a contract. Rings to a live human, who can barely speak English. He takes my name, address and telephone number. He cannot hear well enough for me to spell my last name. After he takes all my information, his "computer crashes" and he has to take it all again. He then puts me on hold, and the hold music is a radio station. It plays some ads for places I'm not familiar with, and then announces that it's 101.5, Tampa Bay. (Tampa Bay is 800 miles away.) The guy comes back on to tell me that he has found a locksmith for me and located my address, and the locksmith will be at my house in 20 minutes, and will call 10 minutes out to verify. OK. Wait 25 minutes, and the locksmith calls. The caller-id reports his area code as 702. Nevada. (Nevada is 2000 miles away.) In a thick Arabic accent, he asks for my cross-streets. He figures out where I am, apologizes for being late and says he'll be there in ten minutes. And sure enough he does show in ten more minutes, and proceeds to open the door in 5 seconds. As much as I've heard it takes a good locksmith only seconds to pick the house locks, it's always amazing to see. In his thick Arabic accent he again apologizes for being late, and explains that he had to drive up from Philly. (Philly is 15 miles and one extremely crowded highway away). The total price for the service is $149.

10-18-2007, 10:32 AM	#2
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Sounds like globalization on a local level. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

10-18-2007, 10:35 AM	#3
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	locked out?...what happened....was there a staple lodged in the screen door lock or something? __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-18-2007, 10:36 AM	#4
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	oooh that's so cool and inside because the n00bs won't know what you're talking about __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-18-2007, 10:58 AM	#8
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Not that there's anything wrong with that. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

10-18-2007, 10:42 AM	#5
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Getting locked out is what happens to you when you only use remote garage door openers for 15 years, forget about your usual front door key, and then one day your power is out for an indefinite period of time.

10-18-2007, 11:01 AM	#9
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	yeah...i started it in this thread....sorry T. I am very weak. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-18-2007, 01:58 PM	#10
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	I want to know how UT used google maps if he was locked out. I have no doubt he is possessed of technological superpowers, but assuming his computers are inside... But the story of technology being at once brilliant and stupid ... yeah that sounds plausible.

10-18-2007, 02:00 PM	#11
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Not all the computers were inside. plus, it says ip phones to me. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-18-2007, 02:17 PM	#12
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	I was at work when I looked for a locksmith, but you know, I also have Google Maps on my Smartphone.

10-18-2007, 03:04 PM	#13
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	__________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-18-2007, 10:00 PM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	So now you've hidden a key, right?

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