08-08-2013, 02:05 PM | #241 | |
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,264
|
Quote:
I wish my arthritis would stop bothering me.
__________________
We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years |
|
08-08-2013, 06:43 PM | #242 |
shed door curio
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 406
|
The morning after giving your ____ a blank check from your entire savings account for the best sex of your life, the bone genie gives you back mobility. Once you realize it wasn't a dream, on the way to the phone you trip over your gun rack and fall down the basement stairs and crack your skull open.
I wish someone would cook for me more often |
03-16-2017, 11:25 PM | #243 | ||
Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
|
Careful what you wish for.
Quote:
Quote:
... I wish my workshop was clean and organized and functional.
__________________
Be Just and Fear Not. |
||
03-16-2017, 11:45 PM | #244 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
|
Poof, a raging fire leaves your workshop clean of everything but ash.
I wish I didn't have to take meds.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
03-17-2017, 12:25 PM | #245 |
Snowflake
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
|
Person 1: I wish America was Great Again.
Person 2: America is greater than ever before!! By the standards of the Dark Ages-- complete with anti-science superstition, total dominion by wealthy overlords, and state-enforced religious oppression.
__________________
****************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio |
03-18-2017, 01:38 PM | #246 | |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
|
Quote:
I wish my brother weren't a leech. |
|
03-18-2017, 03:08 PM | #247 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
|
Poof! Bro is no longer a leech. He's your permanent hemorrhoid.
I wish snot was a valuable commodity. I'd be rich, rich I tells ya!
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
03-18-2017, 03:11 PM | #248 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
|
Mix all your meds into a punch bowl filled with Reese's Pieces, M & Ms, and Skittles, then every morning walk by the bowl make a blind grab and hope for the best.
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
03-19-2017, 03:27 PM | #249 | |
still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
|
Quote:
I wish my shoulder would loosen up.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
|
03-20-2017, 01:03 AM | #250 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
|
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
03-20-2017, 12:47 PM | #251 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
|
Your shoulder is nice and loose. Unfortunately, so is your rectum
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
03-20-2017, 03:56 PM | #252 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
|
Yikes.
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
03-20-2017, 04:12 PM | #253 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
|
oh, I forgot to wish.
I wish I never had to think about money again
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
03-20-2017, 05:29 PM | #254 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
|
Poof, you never think of money again.
Unfortunately your boss sees no reason to keep you around since money was your trade. I wish for Helen Mirren.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
03-23-2017, 02:29 PM | #255 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
|
Poof! You have Helen Mirren. Unfortunately, she's a cross dressing orc who happens to be hung like an echidna.
I wish you hadn't wished for Helen Mirren.
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
|
|