I should have kept my deviated septum

[Clodfobble]

Christ, I had no idea it would suck this much.

Thursday, I went in to have my sinus passages Roto-rooted. I had a severely deviated septum, plus my turbinado passages were corkscrewed the wrong way, somehow. This was supposed to dramatically improve congestion, sleep apnea, sinus infections, etc. This was also supposed to be a dinky little "2 hours then we send you home with a few Vicodin" thing, comparable to wisdom tooth extraction, a little tired for the next few days, blah blah blah.

Well, no. My nose just keeps bleeding and bleeding after surgery, and I keep vomiting all the blood I'm swallowing, so new plan, they put me back under that afternoon, repack everything tighter with gauze, cauterize a few things, and wake me up again. I go home and pass out for a few hours, but soon I'm awake and vomiting blood again. We call the doctor, go back to the ER, they put me under again at 2 in the morning and give it the ol' college try once again, cauterizing the shit out of everything and giving me blood clotting agents as well. They send me home with 5 inch gauze sticks jammed up my nose, dangling little tampon strings across my face, and tell me not to take them out until Sunday.

I wish I'd never agreed to this. The Vicodin's pretty good for the pain, but I still feel like shit. Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to correct their deviated septums...