We are not amused

lumberjim · 07-22-2009, 10:38 PM

It's called an Amusement Park. Ironic.

Six Flags Great Adventure.

DO NOT GO THERE

Between the 90 minute lines, and closed/broken rides, we rode like... 3 rides today.

1. Kids rode the teacups. yawn.
2. Kids rode a parachute thing. lame.
3. Wanted to do the 'Twister' ....srry, this ride is temporarily closed
4. Wanted to try the Great American Scream Machine. as we approached, the line was bailing out. ride is stuck....closed.
5. Went to go try Superman. 90 minute wait. NOT
6. Walked forever to get to the big wooden coater....90 minute wait.
7. Went to get on the little wooden coaster....waited in line for 10 minutes, and were told that it broke.
8. Approached the Flume. 120 minute wait. yeah right
9. Went over to Skull Mountain. 50 minute wait....so we waited! The line is in the shade at least..... but half way in, you realize it's an un-airconditioned tunnel...and the kid in front of us in line has brutal BO. we get in the ride, and it's literally 35 seconds long.....a twisty little violent roller coaster in a darkened warehouse type room. this is not spooky, scary or worth any kind of wait.
10. hunt down a bathroom ( there are like 3) then back over to try the Twister again. after waiting 30 minutes in that line, our nephew is ejected for being 1" too short....(why is there not a "too short"line at the entrance like the other rides?) The other 3 actually seemed to enjoy that ride.
11. the big kids and I go to the Scream Machine, while jinx takes the short nephew over to drive the cars. (guess what....he was too short for that too) We got on the scream machine within 20-25 minutes, and it was a blast. worht that wait.

12 Felling lucky, we go back over to try the little wooden coaster again....takes us 40 minutes in that line...watching them struggle with malfunctioning cars. ( literally half of the green train is roped off) After we finally got in, it was a brutal, loose, fast and extremely violent experience. My ribs and neck are sore. not fun.

13. jinx takes the big kids to go ride the brand new Bizzarro Coaster while I take the short kid on the lame little train coaster......she waits 45 minutes in lin efor this new in 2009 ride, and it breaks.

14. we left.

there are no medium rides in the fuckign place. 7 million different places to eat....carnival games to spend MORE money at....Extra charge rides/games.....

OH! and the fucking Flash Pass people>! what the fuck is this? there are VIP people the go in the exits and are allowed to board the rides without waiting in line?! I think that sucks sucks sucks. fuck that. fuck it in the neck

oh, and the safaris was lame as shit too.

$224 plus gas and about $50 worth of water and hotdogs along the way

jinx · 07-22-2009, 10:43 PM

Plus $15 to park the fucking car.

lumberjim · 07-22-2009, 11:15 PM

GAH!!!

Crimson Ghost · 07-22-2009, 11:15 PM

Sounds like you need a federal bailout.
Either you or the park.
I'd rather you guys got the cash...

lumberjim · 07-22-2009, 11:20 PM

the fuckers are bankrupt.....

i had heard that....but it didn't really play into the decision to go there instead of Dorney Park or Hershey Park(always have a great time at those parks, btw). A guy at our gym had raved about it to our kids, and we bit.

DO NEVER GO THERE

lumberjim · 07-22-2009, 11:25 PM

ALSO!

Quote:

Originally Posted by their fucking website

Kingda Ka is temporarily closed.

Experience the thrill of a lifetime as you shoot 45 stories high at 128 mph on our world-record-breaking Kingda Ka — the tallest, fastest roller coaster on Earth.

Crimson Ghost · 07-23-2009, 12:22 AM

Experience the thrill of a lifetime! $300 for a shitty day!
Just like Thanksgiving at your in-laws!
Thrill to the joys of food poisoning from our undercooked hamburgers and over-boiled hot dogs!
Watch as Security gives the bums rush to those ethnically different!
Listen to your children scream on the way here "AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?"
Then, listen to them whine "All the good rides are closed! All the rides you took me on sucked!"
And then hear them say "I don't wanna leave yet!!" over and over as you exit the park!
Smile as you unwillingly fork over your hard earned cash for cheaply made Taiwan crap!
Feel the pain as your sore, blistered feet absorb the scorching heat of the day, radiating from our first-rate asphalt!
Enjoy the scent from our over-flowing restrooms!
So, come on down and spend your cash!
If you love your family, you'll put yourself into the poorhouse to line our coffers!
If you don't, the terrorists win!
And you don't want that, now do you?

lumberjim · 07-23-2009, 12:24 AM

we should have gone kayaking

Juniper · 07-23-2009, 02:14 AM

I'm so sorry.

Come to Kings Island!

http://www.visitkingsisland.com/

It's a really nice park. Kind of crappy compared to Disney - which sets the standard for awesome - but still, you'd have fun there. We love KI. It's a requirement for living in the 45-something zip code.

Seriously though, they do very well. We have season passes. It's not perfect, but you get your money's worth if you plan well.

And if you do, call me. I'll go with you!

Griff · 07-23-2009, 05:11 AM

My sister took her kids to Chernobyls yesterday er Koernobles? yesterday so we'll see if that was any better. I'm just not amusement park people so I can't rate any.

TheMercenary · 07-23-2009, 05:32 AM

We went to the beach in the boat.

Ice $1.25

Beer $12 (18pk)

Gas about $20 round trip

Homemade sandwich and chips $cheap

Around $35 total....

We had a blast.

ZenGum · 07-23-2009, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crimson Ghost

Sounds like you need a federal bailout.

Wouldn't that be park-barreling?

Shawnee123 · 07-23-2009, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juniper

I'm so sorry.

Come to Kings Island!

http://www.visitkingsisland.com/

It's a really nice park. Kind of crappy compared to Disney - which sets the standard for awesome - but still, you'd have fun there. We love KI. It's a requirement for living in the 45-something zip code.

Seriously though, they do very well. We have season passes. It's not perfect, but you get your money's worth if you plan well.

And if you do, call me. I'll go with you!

So true. I grew up going to KI. My dad worked on the roads when it was built, so our family was there that first summer. I was just tall enough to ride the racer.

Then in HS, at least once a summer my friends and I would make the trek down there. And of course, there was Grad Night. It was so fun, except for the kid who got decapitated on the Eiffel Tower.

I think KI does a really good job. Where is the summer going? I swore I would go this summer.

glatt · 07-23-2009, 07:55 AM

We went to Hershey Park last Tuesday. My first time there, and it was freaking awesome. You already said that you like it Jim, so you don't need to hear it again, but that isn't gonna stop me. Longest wait for any ride we went on was maybe 20 minutes. Most rides had a 5 minute wait. I rode various coasters maybe 10 times. My son, who had never been on one before rode them 12 times. We did tons of other rides too. The go-cart style classic cars with the bumper rail down the center of the track was a hit with the kids. There was no wait for that. They would ride it, and then run around and ride it again. My wife and I let them chauffeur us around the track. We probably each rode 30 rides total that day in the entire park.

And I bought the tickets at AAA before hand for like $10 off each. Around $40 per person instead of around $50 per person.

I love Hershey Park. But then again, I was there on a Tuesday, not a weekend.

Oh, and you measure yourself at the gate to the park, and it tells you what size you are in an easy to remember candy bar. (I was a Jolly Rancher.) Each ride tells you what candy bars can ride it, so there is no confusion.

lumberjim · 07-23-2009, 08:35 AM

I have more of an issue with being too big for some of the rides. The ones they know are tight, they usually put a sample seat out front so you can try it on. I've slimmed somewhat down since our last trip to Dorney, and would have actually fit on the Superman ride, had we been willing to wait that long for it. The Big wooden coaster that we tried at the end...that the short nephew was tall enough for....was too small for my bigness. It was an incredibly frustrating day.

Merc, that's what I meant......last Sunday we went down the river in our kayaks.....had perfect weather, and everyone had a fantastic time. only expense was swammiches and snacks.

07-22-2009, 10:38 PM	#1
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	We are not amused It's called an Amusement Park. Ironic. Six Flags Great Adventure. DO NOT GO THERE Between the 90 minute lines, and closed/broken rides, we rode like... 3 rides today. 1. Kids rode the teacups. yawn. 2. Kids rode a parachute thing. lame. 3. Wanted to do the 'Twister' ....srry, this ride is temporarily closed 4. Wanted to try the Great American Scream Machine. as we approached, the line was bailing out. ride is stuck....closed. 5. Went to go try Superman. 90 minute wait. NOT 6. Walked forever to get to the big wooden coater....90 minute wait. 7. Went to get on the little wooden coaster....waited in line for 10 minutes, and were told that it broke. 8. Approached the Flume. 120 minute wait. yeah right 9. Went over to Skull Mountain. 50 minute wait....so we waited! The line is in the shade at least..... but half way in, you realize it's an un-airconditioned tunnel...and the kid in front of us in line has brutal BO. we get in the ride, and it's literally 35 seconds long.....a twisty little violent roller coaster in a darkened warehouse type room. this is not spooky, scary or worth any kind of wait. 10. hunt down a bathroom ( there are like 3) then back over to try the Twister again. after waiting 30 minutes in that line, our nephew is ejected for being 1" too short....(why is there not a "too short"line at the entrance like the other rides?) The other 3 actually seemed to enjoy that ride. 11. the big kids and I go to the Scream Machine, while jinx takes the short nephew over to drive the cars. (guess what....he was too short for that too) We got on the scream machine within 20-25 minutes, and it was a blast. worht that wait. 12 Felling lucky, we go back over to try the little wooden coaster again....takes us 40 minutes in that line...watching them struggle with malfunctioning cars. ( literally half of the green train is roped off) After we finally got in, it was a brutal, loose, fast and extremely violent experience. My ribs and neck are sore. not fun. 13. jinx takes the big kids to go ride the brand new Bizzarro Coaster while I take the short kid on the lame little train coaster......she waits 45 minutes in lin efor this new in 2009 ride, and it breaks. 14. we left. there are no medium rides in the fuckign place. 7 million different places to eat....carnival games to spend MORE money at....Extra charge rides/games..... OH! and the fucking Flash Pass people>! what the fuck is this? there are VIP people the go in the exits and are allowed to board the rides without waiting in line?! I think that sucks sucks sucks. fuck that. fuck it in the neck oh, and the safaris was lame as shit too. $224 plus gas and about $50 worth of water and hotdogs along the way __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-22-2009, 10:43 PM	#2
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	Plus $15 to park the fucking car. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

07-22-2009, 11:15 PM	#3
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	GAH!!! __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-22-2009, 11:15 PM	#4
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	Sounds like you need a federal bailout. Either you or the park. I'd rather you guys got the cash... __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

07-22-2009, 11:20 PM	#5
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	the fuckers are bankrupt..... i had heard that....but it didn't really play into the decision to go there instead of Dorney Park or Hershey Park(always have a great time at those parks, btw). A guy at our gym had raved about it to our kids, and we bit. DO NEVER GO THERE __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-23-2009, 12:22 AM	#7
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	Experience the thrill of a lifetime! $300 for a shitty day! Just like Thanksgiving at your in-laws! Thrill to the joys of food poisoning from our undercooked hamburgers and over-boiled hot dogs! Watch as Security gives the bums rush to those ethnically different! Listen to your children scream on the way here "AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?" Then, listen to them whine "All the good rides are closed! All the rides you took me on sucked!" And then hear them say "I don't wanna leave yet!!" over and over as you exit the park! Smile as you unwillingly fork over your hard earned cash for cheaply made Taiwan crap! Feel the pain as your sore, blistered feet absorb the scorching heat of the day, radiating from our first-rate asphalt! Enjoy the scent from our over-flowing restrooms! So, come on down and spend your cash! If you love your family, you'll put yourself into the poorhouse to line our coffers! If you don't, the terrorists win! And you don't want that, now do you? __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

07-23-2009, 12:24 AM	#8
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	we should have gone kayaking __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-23-2009, 02:14 AM	#9
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	I'm so sorry. Come to Kings Island! http://www.visitkingsisland.com/ It's a really nice park. Kind of crappy compared to Disney - which sets the standard for awesome - but still, you'd have fun there. We love KI. It's a requirement for living in the 45-something zip code. Seriously though, they do very well. We have season passes. It's not perfect, but you get your money's worth if you plan well. And if you do, call me. I'll go with you!

07-23-2009, 05:11 AM	#10
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	My sister took her kids to Chernobyls yesterday er Koernobles? yesterday so we'll see if that was any better. I'm just not amusement park people so I can't rate any. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

07-23-2009, 05:32 AM	#11
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	We went to the beach in the boat. Ice $1.25 Beer $12 (18pk) Gas about $20 round trip Homemade sandwich and chips $cheap Around $35 total.... We had a blast. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

07-23-2009, 07:55 AM	#14
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	We went to Hershey Park last Tuesday. My first time there, and it was freaking awesome. You already said that you like it Jim, so you don't need to hear it again, but that isn't gonna stop me. Longest wait for any ride we went on was maybe 20 minutes. Most rides had a 5 minute wait. I rode various coasters maybe 10 times. My son, who had never been on one before rode them 12 times. We did tons of other rides too. The go-cart style classic cars with the bumper rail down the center of the track was a hit with the kids. There was no wait for that. They would ride it, and then run around and ride it again. My wife and I let them chauffeur us around the track. We probably each rode 30 rides total that day in the entire park. And I bought the tickets at AAA before hand for like $10 off each. Around $40 per person instead of around $50 per person. I love Hershey Park. But then again, I was there on a Tuesday, not a weekend. Oh, and you measure yourself at the gate to the park, and it tells you what size you are in an easy to remember candy bar. (I was a Jolly Rancher.) Each ride tells you what candy bars can ride it, so there is no confusion.

07-23-2009, 08:35 AM	#15
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I have more of an issue with being too big for some of the rides. The ones they know are tight, they usually put a sample seat out front so you can try it on. I've slimmed somewhat down since our last trip to Dorney, and would have actually fit on the Superman ride, had we been willing to wait that long for it. The Big wooden coaster that we tried at the end...that the short nephew was tall enough for....was too small for my bigness. It was an incredibly frustrating day. Merc, that's what I meant......last Sunday we went down the river in our kayaks.....had perfect weather, and everyone had a fantastic time. only expense was swammiches and snacks. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

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