Life's a...

[limey]

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

Feeling helpless is horrible, and the situation you and your mom are in, even worse. If you can't be there, and there isn't staff who can regularly stay with your mom, look to hire a person to go sit with her and visit her. If you can't afford to hire, there are probably volunteer groups who help the elderly in the area and would be willing to visit your mom. On your once a week visit you can remind her that she will be having a visitor. With her dementia she might be distrusting of the person, but if you are able to get the same person to go every time, she might accept them. Having a presence there, someone who just talks/reads/checks up on her, could help her a long way. If not, you'll know that she didn't have to spend all that time alone.

Mtp - thanks for your your suggestions. I should have explained - she is in a hospital at the moment, which she hates as she much prefers her own company. She is not safe to live alone anymore, but doesn't realise this herself. We just have to wait this out until she can be moved nearer ... in the meanwhile we're both miserable and helpless.

[DanaC]

Oh Limey. I feel for you honey. What a horrible situation. I have no advice I just have a hug: *hug*

I hope you are able to move her nearer soon.

[classicman]

What Dana said!

[limey]

Thanks guys.

[Lady Kitt3h]

This year...
My fiance of 6 months (who happened to be my BF of two years) cheated on me, lied about a number of things, and then threatened me when I left him. My biological father decided that after 18 years he wanted to get in contact with me. My younger sister developed an allergy to wheat, peanuts and strawberries (which we discovered on accident). My dad was in a biking accident and is currently undergoing more surgery for it. And the financial aid I had dropped, so I was forced to take out a loan.

[limey]

Sorry to hear you're going through it, too Kitt3h.

[DanaC]

Sounds like a damn tough time Kitt3h. Welcome to the Cellar. Hopefully it'll brighten your days a little. It certainly has mine

[ZenGum]

Say it with pictures:

[Queen of the Ryche]

Oh, Lookout. You deserve a much better lot. Hang in there. Not much we can do for you through the interwebs but offer our support.

Same goes for everyone in here. A friend told me be patient with people; you don't what battles they may be fighting, or something like that. Agreed. I'll save my skeletons for some other thread, some other time.

[Clodfobble]

Goddamnit.

I just found out some friends of mine lost their baby to heart failure just hours after she was born.

Fuck 2009. What a piece of shit useless year. Fuck it straight to hell.

[Radar]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

In the last 8 months I've lost both my children to a devastating metabolic and immunological disease that is costing around $1000 a month to treat, and may or may not affect them for the rest of their lives. They may be completely independent normal adults, or have to live at home, have no friends, and be unable to hold a job, their futures uncertain after I die--it's totally up in the air. I have learned a completely new dietary lifestyle, and stopped being able to eat out of the house, ever. I have discovered in the process that I am almost certainly an undiagnosed Celiac, as I can no longer eat bread products even on the sly without severe stomach pain. I am aware this greatly increases my risk of getting the colon cancer than runs in my family. I have lost friends over my new lifestyle, but gained a few new ones. I have told off our pediatrician. I have started a website that I secretly hope will somehow make me millions.

Next?

I was shocked at first. Generally when people say they've "lost" their children to a disease, they mean their children died. I'm not discounting what you've gone through, I'm just talking about the words you use to describe it. I can't imagine the pain of going through my daughter having a life long illness, let alone actually losing her.

[monster]

I think the word lost is perfect in this context. We live in hope that clod will be abe to find her children again. Children who die are not "lost", they are gone. I hate it when people use inappropriate euphemisms to nancy round unpalatable truths, thus making those word seem inappropriate in situations where they are not.

[monster]

Sorry to hear about your friend's baby, fobble.

[Radar]

In February, my job was stolen out from under me by a "friend" that I hired and I regret leaving the security of working for a large company like Siemens. My father has been having legal issues because he tried to help a woman who was having a custody battle and in order to discredit my father, her ex-husband accused my dad of a horrible crime which he didn't do. Dad spent a year waiting for a trial and they kept pushing the date back. He was scared into accepting a plea for a crime he didn't commit because he was facing life in prison without parole vs. 6 months of house arrest.

My father and mother are both in failing health. Both have diabetes and high blood pressure. Dad can't feel his legs below his knees and won't see a doctor about it. Mom and step-dad have no jobs and have nearly exhausted unemployment and don't know what to do when it ends. Mom needs kidney surgery, but Kaiser keeps screwing around and moving her operation out which is even worse because her health insurance is about to run out.

I packed up the family and moved to the other side of the country to get a new start and buy a house with my father in Orlando, but he got frustrated with the Real Estate agents and bought a house in Ocala instead. This has made it virtually impossible for me to find a job in my field.

I spent some money to get my hot dog cart, but need more capital to make repairs to the cart, get all the paperwork, inventory, etc. to actually open the business.

All of my friends and business connections are on the west coast, so I feel helpless and useless out here. I hate the fact that my wife found work instantly, but I can't and I'm basically Mr. Mom out here. I like to work and I'm getting stir-crazy in this house everyday.

I miss my friends, family, and the food in Los Angeles.


My wife does nails for a living and she's an independent contractor (so they can avoid minimum wage) so I have no health insurance for my wife, daughter, or myself which frightens me.



My problems seem small next to some of yours, but they still keep me up at night.

[Radar]

Originally Posted by monster

I think the word lost is perfect in this context. We live in hope that clod will be abe to find her children again. Children who die are not "lost", they are gone. I hate it when people use inappropriate euphemisms to nancy round unpalatable truths, thus making those word seem inappropriate in situations where they are not.

Whether or not you think the euphemism is appropriate, the fact of the matter is this is the common usage. When someone says, "I've lost my mother to cancer" or "I lost my kids in a horrible auto accident" they aren't saying they can't find their mother or kids.

I agree that saying "My children were taken from me" etc. would probably be more accurate. I was just expressing my shock and fear for someone who, at first, I thought was saying their children had died.