Cooking flops... good ideas gone bad!

melidasaur · 02-20-2005, 03:47 PM

I have had numerous cooking experiences that occured with good intentions but with disasterous results. I will share four of my most famous flops:

1. I tried to make roasted garlic because i really like it. I roasted about 10 heads and you could smell it from blocks away. The odor of garlic was so strong in the house that it burned your eyes. We had to stay away from the house for a few hours to let it air out. The roasted garlic didn't end up tasting very good either.

2. I tried to make balsamic vinegrette dressing for a salad. I could have done a simple vinegar, oil mixture... nothing fancy - I've done that numerous times. However, this time, something possessed me to add some herbs. The combination I choose was absolutely awful and ended up looking like a bunch of twigs floating around in black liquid.

3. With the aforementioned roasted garlic, I decided to make garlic mashed potatoes. Instead of the amount recommended by the recipe, I added about an entire head of garlic. I put the potatoes in the refridgerator to heat up later and the ended up tasting like 100% mashed garlic. Worst mashed potatoes ever.

4. TODAY, I decided that I wanted coffee ice cream, so I put about a tablespoon of instant coffee granuales on my chocolate and vanilla ice cream. NOT A GOOD IDEA! The coffee granuales were way too strong and ended up over powering the ice cream. Not at all a subtle flavor. And it was bitter. I may try this concoction again, just not as much coffee. It was really gross.

Please share your cooking flops!

richlevy · 02-20-2005, 05:03 PM

This is why I bought a griddle surface for my outdoor grill, so that I can experiment outdoors.

I have been thinking about departing from grilled foods for Plastic Forks and doing cheesesteaks, stir fry, or some other food that takes advantage of the propane burner on my Red Devil.

One experiment I want to try on my large propane or the Red Devil is getting a cheap refrigerated pizza from the supermarket and using some wood chips for a 'brick oven' pizza. I have a shaker bottle of hardwood wood chips designed for propane grills. I put them in an Altoids tin near the flame and they build up a nice amount of smoke.

Troubleshooter · 02-20-2005, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melidasaur

4. TODAY, I decided that I wanted coffee ice cream, so I put about a tablespoon of instant coffee granuales on my chocolate and vanilla ice cream. NOT A GOOD IDEA! The coffee granuales were way too strong and ended up over powering the ice cream. Not at all a subtle flavor. And it was bitter. I may try this concoction again, just not as much coffee. It was really gross.

It's not a flop but...

When I was on the boat we had a soft-serve machine. We would use equal amounts of brewed coffee in the place of water and it ended up as something special.

breakingnews · 02-20-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melidasaur

1. I tried to make roasted garlic because i really like it. I roasted about 10 heads and you could smell it from blocks away. The odor of garlic was so strong in the house that it burned your eyes. We had to stay away from the house for a few hours to let it air out. The roasted garlic didn't end up tasting very good either.

One year during the bitter days of winter, I convinced my brother to help me (read: do it himself) make homemade french onion soup. Done properly, the onions must be stewed and stewed and stewed; even after an hour of stewing, the onions still had a particularly crunchy texture, and the soup was nowhere near ready. All said and done, the house - and ourselves - smelled like onions for a good week or so. We couldn't even open the windows very wide because it was so cold outside.

Quote:

4. TODAY, I decided that I wanted coffee ice cream, so I put about a tablespoon of instant coffee granuales on my chocolate and vanilla ice cream. NOT A GOOD IDEA!

GROSS. Um, would coffee grounds ever taste good by themselves? Yer supposed to brew the coffee and add slowly, like a tiramisu. Like, duh.

Undertoad · 02-20-2005, 05:29 PM

It turns out that you can't just fry leftover mashed potatoes into some sort of potatoey-pancake thing. They absorb the frying oil and become a big inedible pile of crap.

It seems like I re-learn this lesson every five years. And I'm 100% certain I have been taught some good, tasty way of doing this, and forgot it.

richlevy · 02-20-2005, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

It turns out that you can't just fry leftover mashed potatoes into some sort of potatoey-pancake thing. They absorb the frying oil and become a big inedible pile of crap.

It seems like I re-learn this lesson every five years. And I'm 100% certain I have been taught some good, tasty way of doing this, and forgot it.

The Internet is your friend - Recipe from cooks.com

melidasaur · 02-20-2005, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by breakingnews

GROSS. Um, would coffee grounds ever taste good by themselves? Yer supposed to brew the coffee and add slowly, like a tiramisu. Like, duh.

Since instant coffee grounds aren't really coffee grounds, I thought it would be like putting nestle quick on top of ice cream... which is really good. This was not.

A teaspoon of instant coffee grandules to your hot chocolate makes a delicious mocha.

Also, 2 teaspoons of instant coffee added to your chocolate chip cookie dough also adds some nice flavor.

I've done lovely things with instant coffee, this ice cream concoction just didn't turn out like I thought it would.

elf · 02-21-2005, 01:24 PM

Wheat-free sugar cookies.

It shouldn't have beel all <i>that</I> difficult. . . use a little extra of the flour mixture, even out the texture a little bit, and make sure to refrigerate for a looong time so that it's nice and firm for cookie-cutting. . .

Oh. My. God. What a mess. The dough didn't hold at all, and they all turned out like amorphous blobs and the edges all burnt - quickly.

Except my Kokopelli. I used up all the rest of the dough for that, and made a reeeeeally big, reeeeeally skinny Kokopelli. Of course, I couldn't get him off the pan in one piece, but I took a picture for posterity. I'll post it when I'm online at home. you can be amused by it.

SteveDallas · 02-21-2005, 06:48 PM

Three words.

Tofu Eggplant stir-fry.

Troubleshooter · 02-21-2005, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

Three words.

Tofu Eggplant stir-fry.

Things that make you go *shudders* ugh...

Beestie · 02-21-2005, 09:30 PM

melidasaur, meet your twin:

Every! single! stinkin'! time! I stray from the letter of the recipe or try to "improvise," you can pretty much see my kids and wife running down the street waving their arms above their heads screaming to any and all who would listen.

And clean up after butchering a meal is a bitch.

LabRat · 02-22-2005, 11:02 AM

Shortly after I was married, I wanted to add a little garlic flavor to my spaghetti sauce. I thought I grabbed garlic powder, but I actually grabbed the garlic salt out of the cupboard. It was like a bad sitcom when we sat down for what smelled like really good spaghetti. Ugh. It took 2 years for my husband to let me add anything to the sauce again...

chainsaw · 02-22-2005, 12:31 PM

Over the rainy weekend, I decided to satisfy my sweet tooth with a yummy, warm tortilla with melted butter and a sprinkling of sugar and cinnamon. LabRat and I MUST start reading our spices more closely because CUMIN is NO GOOD with sugar and butter on a warm tortilla. Caca.

Before I mastered the art of fried rice, I had many disasters. The most embarrassing was when I invited some friends over for dinner and made it. You know how fried rice is supposed to have little bits of egg in it? Well, I cracked an egg in the rice and it basically became a gigantic rice ball. Apparently, you're supposed to scramble the egg first. Who knew?

LabRat · 02-23-2005, 08:34 AM

melidasaur · 02-23-2005, 04:09 PM

Yet another flop...

I was reminded today about a time I tried to make peach cobbler. I don't know what i was thinking... I don't think I was thinking at all. It has been described as gross, watery peaches covered in wet oatmeal. it was pretty sick, even I wouldn't eat it. I just need to follow a recipe... it's okay to follow the recipe, learn how to make it well, then improvise

.

02-20-2005, 03:47 PM	#1
melidasaur Traded your soul for pogs. Join Date: May 2004 Location: Champaign, IL Posts: 646	Cooking flops... good ideas gone bad! I have had numerous cooking experiences that occured with good intentions but with disasterous results. I will share four of my most famous flops: 1. I tried to make roasted garlic because i really like it. I roasted about 10 heads and you could smell it from blocks away. The odor of garlic was so strong in the house that it burned your eyes. We had to stay away from the house for a few hours to let it air out. The roasted garlic didn't end up tasting very good either. 2. I tried to make balsamic vinegrette dressing for a salad. I could have done a simple vinegar, oil mixture... nothing fancy - I've done that numerous times. However, this time, something possessed me to add some herbs. The combination I choose was absolutely awful and ended up looking like a bunch of twigs floating around in black liquid. 3. With the aforementioned roasted garlic, I decided to make garlic mashed potatoes. Instead of the amount recommended by the recipe, I added about an entire head of garlic. I put the potatoes in the refridgerator to heat up later and the ended up tasting like 100% mashed garlic. Worst mashed potatoes ever. 4. TODAY, I decided that I wanted coffee ice cream, so I put about a tablespoon of instant coffee granuales on my chocolate and vanilla ice cream. NOT A GOOD IDEA! The coffee granuales were way too strong and ended up over powering the ice cream. Not at all a subtle flavor. And it was bitter. I may try this concoction again, just not as much coffee. It was really gross. Please share your cooking flops! __________________ I love England, what can I say?

02-20-2005, 05:03 PM	#2
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	This is why I bought a griddle surface for my outdoor grill, so that I can experiment outdoors. I have been thinking about departing from grilled foods for Plastic Forks and doing cheesesteaks, stir fry, or some other food that takes advantage of the propane burner on my Red Devil. One experiment I want to try on my large propane or the Red Devil is getting a cheap refrigerated pizza from the supermarket and using some wood chips for a 'brick oven' pizza. I have a shaker bottle of hardwood wood chips designed for propane grills. I put them in an Altoids tin near the flame and they build up a nice amount of smoke. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama Last edited by richlevy; 02-20-2005 at 05:10 PM.

02-21-2005, 09:30 PM	#11
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	melidasaur, meet your twin: Every! single! stinkin'! time! I stray from the letter of the recipe or try to "improvise," you can pretty much see my kids and wife running down the street waving their arms above their heads screaming to any and all who would listen. And clean up after butchering a meal is a bitch. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

02-22-2005, 11:02 AM	#12
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	Shortly after I was married, I wanted to add a little garlic flavor to my spaghetti sauce. I thought I grabbed garlic powder, but I actually grabbed the garlic salt out of the cupboard. It was like a bad sitcom when we sat down for what smelled like really good spaghetti. Ugh. It took 2 years for my husband to let me add anything to the sauce again... __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

02-22-2005, 12:31 PM	#13
chainsaw Wingnahningning... Er somethin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: 90802 Posts: 368	Over the rainy weekend, I decided to satisfy my sweet tooth with a yummy, warm tortilla with melted butter and a sprinkling of sugar and cinnamon. LabRat and I MUST start reading our spices more closely because CUMIN is NO GOOD with sugar and butter on a warm tortilla. Caca. Before I mastered the art of fried rice, I had many disasters. The most embarrassing was when I invited some friends over for dinner and made it. You know how fried rice is supposed to have little bits of egg in it? Well, I cracked an egg in the rice and it basically became a gigantic rice ball. Apparently, you're supposed to scramble the egg first. Who knew? __________________ I have no life, so I watch movies.

02-20-2005, 05:29 PM	#5
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	It turns out that you can't just fry leftover mashed potatoes into some sort of potatoey-pancake thing. They absorb the frying oil and become a big inedible pile of crap. It seems like I re-learn this lesson every five years. And I'm 100% certain I have been taught some good, tasty way of doing this, and forgot it.

02-21-2005, 01:24 PM	#8
elf Yay! We're Dooomed! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Mostly: New York. Most Recently: New Jersey. Currently: Colorado Posts: 214	Wheat-free sugar cookies. It shouldn't have beel all <i>that</I> difficult. . . use a little extra of the flour mixture, even out the texture a little bit, and make sure to refrigerate for a looong time so that it's nice and firm for cookie-cutting. . . Oh. My. God. What a mess. The dough didn't hold at all, and they all turned out like amorphous blobs and the edges all burnt - quickly. Except my Kokopelli. I used up all the rest of the dough for that, and made a reeeeeally big, reeeeeally skinny Kokopelli. Of course, I couldn't get him off the pan in one piece, but I took a picture for posterity. I'll post it when I'm online at home. you can be amused by it.

02-21-2005, 06:48 PM	#9
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Three words. Tofu Eggplant stir-fry.

02-23-2005, 08:34 AM	#14
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	__________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

02-23-2005, 04:09 PM	#15
melidasaur Traded your soul for pogs. Join Date: May 2004 Location: Champaign, IL Posts: 646	Yet another flop... I was reminded today about a time I tried to make peach cobbler. I don't know what i was thinking... I don't think I was thinking at all. It has been described as gross, watery peaches covered in wet oatmeal. it was pretty sick, even I wouldn't eat it. I just need to follow a recipe... it's okay to follow the recipe, learn how to make it well, then improvise . __________________ I love England, what can I say?

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