The Spanish Inquisition

[monster]

(I've translated for you, because I knew you weren't expecting it....)

1. How many people do you know named Claudia?
2. Can you touch your toes?
3. Which sport do you play most often?
4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie?
5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option)
6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air?
7. Do you find Family Guy funny?
8. What is your favorite color?
9. Do you have a passport?
10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!)
11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought?

[regular.joe]

1. None.
2. Yes.
3. Soccer.
4. Way too long.
5. Yes.
6. No.
7. Extremely.
8. Don't have a favorite, I don't play favorites like that.
9. Yes.
10. Army Issue.
11. I don't think I've ever purchased a holiday souvenir.

[Cloud]

1. How many people do you know named Claudia?
One, currently, but never liked the name due to past associations.

2. Can you touch your toes?
Sure. . . . can't everyone?

3. Which sport do you play most often?
Sport? uh . . . does belly dance count? how bout kitty steeplechase?

4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie?
about a week

5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option)
YES!

6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air?
Yes, I did.

7. Do you find Family Guy funny?
Rarely watch comedy stuff, so I wouldn't know.

8. What is your favorite color?
blue/purple

9. Do you have a passport?
it's in the mail

10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!)
so rarely do I wear actual panties. Wore a slip and pantyhose to work today though, so -- black and tan.

11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought?
(puzzles over idiom) You mean vacation souvenir? Chinese silver jewelry from the Folk Art Festival in Santa Fe.

[Bullitt]

Originally Posted by monster

(I've translated for you, because I knew you weren't expecting it....)

1. How many people do you know named Claudia?
2. Can you touch your toes?
3. Which sport do you play most often?
4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie?
5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option)
6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air?
7. Do you find Family Guy funny?
8. What is your favorite color?
9. Do you have a passport?
10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!)
11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought?

None
Yes
Racquetball
1 week
Bottle or pub tap
Yes
Half the time
Red
Yes
Black
Gold Hibiscus flower earrings from Panama for my mother.

[wolf]

1. How many people do you know named Claudia? One.
2. Can you touch your toes? Yes. It's easier when I'm sitting down, though.
3. Which sport do you play most often? Shooting is a sport. It's in the Olympics.
4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie? 3 days
5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option) Proper pint mug or tankard. Bottle as second option.
6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air? yes.
7. Do you find Family Guy funny? mostly.
8. What is your favorite color? Teal
9. Do you have a passport? no
10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!) white with purple, magenta, and slate blue swirlies all over them.
11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought? Fridge magnet

[ZenGum]

Originally Posted by monster

(I've translated for you, because I knew you weren't expecting it....)

1. How many people do you know named Claudia?
   Depends - do you mean in the biblical sense of "know"?
   
2. Can you touch your toes?
   More importantly, can I touch yours?
   
3. Which sport do you play most often?
   Well, I had a girlfriend who called it that.
   
4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie?
   She called it that, too.
   
5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct
   from the pub tap? (Never is not an option)
   Lapped from the navel.
   
6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air?
   Did you see me hit on that stewardess last week? Ooooh yeah!
   
7. Do you find Family Guy funny?
   That's what she said!
   
8. What is your favorite color?
   Nipple pink.
   
9. Do you have a passport?
   A passport to paradise, baby, climb aboard!
   
10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color
    = nekkid!)
    What a silly question.
    
11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought?
    The doctor still isn't sure, but it's resistant to penicillin.

Oh and by the way, I was expecting you.

[Sundae]

1. How many people do you know named Claudia?
Two. Neither are friends, work contacts

2. Can you touch your toes?
Yes. I'm fat but I'm limber

3. Which sport do you play most often?
The lottery

4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie?
So long I can't remember

5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option)
Nicest in pint glasses. From the pub tap would be too gassy. Cans is acceptable, bottles too small.

6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air?
Nope. At work at the time. Didn't get to a tv until after it hit.

7. Do you find Family Guy funny?
Only available on satellite here - have never seen a whole episode.

8. What is your favorite color?
Black or red for clothes. Pink for almost everything else. Green for sweets - I love the flavour green.

9. Do you have a passport?
Yes, but I have no idea where it is!

10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!)
Pink

11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought?
Crikey - I've only had cut-price holidays recently, so I guess is was a statue of Anubis from Egypt in 2001.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by Cloud

3. Which sport do you play most often?
Sport? uh . . . does belly dance count? how bout kitty steeplechase?

Bwahahahaha
I used to call it Mad Cat Scramble when it didn't involve me, Hannibal Over the Alps when it did (how can such tiny cats be so heavy?)

Kitty Steeplechase is better!
'cept only have one now means it's only ever Kamikaze Death Attack these days

[glatt]

1. How many people do you know named Claudia?
   Not one
2. Can you touch your toes?
   Yes
3. Which sport do you play most often?
   Kicking a soccer ball around with my kids in the back yard.
4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie?
   Maybe 6 months or so?
5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option)
   Bottle
6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air?
   No
7. Do you find Family Guy funny?
   Generally no, but I also don't watch it.
8. What is your favorite color?
   Currently, red.
9. Do you have a passport?
   Many. One current, and 4 expired.
10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!)
    White with blue and green stripes
11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought?
    T-Shirt. Always a t-shirt.

[Pie]

1. How many people do you know named Claudia? None
2. Can you touch your toes? Yes
3. Which sport do you play most often? Is Wii Tennis a sport?
4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie? ~1 month
5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option) Pint glass or bottle
6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air? No
7. Do you find Family Guy funny? Yes, but embarrassing
8. What is your favorite color? Blue
9. Do you have a passport? Yes
10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!) Tannish, I think. It was dark when I got dressed.
11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought? An abalone shell pendant

[Clodfobble]

1. How many people do you know named Claudia? One - the woman who bought our old house from us.
2. Can you touch your toes? Did it just this morning as I applied a bandaid to my big toe.
3. Which sport do you play most often? Toddler wrangling.
4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie? I have no idea. Before minifobette was born, so over 6 months at least.
5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option) You're right, never is not "an" option, it's the only option. :P
6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air? No.
7. Do you find Family Guy funny? Moderately, but the style of gag gets predictable. But as long as I don't watch it that often.
8. What is your favorite color? Blue or green. Or maybe gray.
9. Do you have a passport? Yes, but it might be expired, I don't know.
10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!) Dark blue.
11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought? That would have to be from our honeymoon in 2003... so a mermaid t-shirt that changes color in the sun for my stepdaughter.

[Razzmatazz13]

1. How many people do you know named Claudia?
One! She dated my cousin in middle school and I haven't liked any of his girlfriends since.
2. Can you touch your toes?
Yep!
3. Which sport do you play most often?
"wait to see how long it takes me to write the paper before I break down and do it"a-thon, very specialized sport, that one
4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie?
Last month, chinese with my aunt, mom, and other cousin
5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option)
Never is ALWAYS an option.
6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air?
No, I missed it by seconds as I changed classes
7. Do you find Family Guy funny?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no...more no than yes recently
8. What is your favorite color?
Currently I'd say minty green, but it changes all the time
9. Do you have a passport?
No, I've neve been outside the country (because canada doesn't really count)
10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!)
Nekkid! I haven't gotten dressed yet
11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought?
I got a little backpack to carry my pants around the last time I went to Knoebols (I wore pants and shorts that day, so once it got hot out, I took the jeans off and didn't want to carry them)

[Shawnee123]

How many people do you know named Claudia? One, mom's friend from HS
Can you touch your toes? Yes
Which sport do you play most often? Basketball
How long since you opened a fortune cookie? A year?
Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct from the pub tap? (Never is not an option) A bottle, a can, a glass, a keg, the pub tap, or off the floor
\Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air? Yes
Do you find Family Guy funny? Yes
What is your favorite color? Green
Do you have a passport? No
What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color = nekkid!) White
What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought? Probably some pumpkin kind of thing?

[Sundae]

Shawnee are those colour-coded as to which ones are true?
PS - you know perfectly well what Monster means by holiday

[Shawnee123]

Heee...

The beer one is beer colored. The green one is, well, green. Pumpkin is orange...etc.

Some I couldn't assign a color.