A letter to President Bush...

Radar · 11-10-2004, 01:53 PM

Dear President Bush,

Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

wolf · 11-10-2004, 01:54 PM

If that hadn't been rehashed and sent around like 2000 times, that would be a lot funnier.

I usually see it addressed to Dr. Laura.

Beestie · 11-10-2004, 01:57 PM

You didn't write that in pig's blood I hope.

Don't answer the door!

flippant · 11-10-2004, 02:02 PM

Hadn't seen it! Ha HAAA! Is there a way to make them all slaves post mortum?

glatt · 11-10-2004, 02:10 PM

Excellent, Radar. Excellent.

garnet · 11-10-2004, 02:16 PM

Haha! I like the "lesser degrees of abomination" line in #6.....

Radar · 11-10-2004, 02:22 PM

I like the lesser degrees also, and the "should I smite them?". I wish I could take credit for it, but it came across my email inbox and I thought I'd share.

flippant · 11-10-2004, 03:22 PM

Got to print out for room-mate..............she's gonna love this....

dar512 · 11-10-2004, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flippant

Hadn't seen it! Ha HAAA! Is there a way to make them all slaves post mortum?

Why would you want a dead slave?

OnyxCougar · 11-10-2004, 04:00 PM

there are OTHER abominations, ya know!

flippant · 11-10-2004, 05:29 PM

Wait I might be on the list gotta gooooooooo!

xoxoxoBruce · 11-10-2004, 08:18 PM

Yeah, it's been around in one form or another for a long time but it still makes me chuckle. It also make an excellent point.

slang · 11-11-2004, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radar

Congratulations on your election victory.....

Dear W,

You're welcome for the tiny efforts I put into your re-election campaign and good luck in the next 4 years. You irritate people more than I could ever hope to.

Please do not make Radar disappear with the newfound powers granted by the Patriot Act. We appreciate his posts, funny as they often are, and believe that somehow....he is one of us deep down.

Look. He even congratulated you. Miracles can happen!

slang

ladysycamore · 11-12-2004, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Yeah, it's been around in one form or another for a long time but it still makes me chuckle. It also make an excellent point.

Precisely: that religion is nothing but "crowd control".

LOL, that's still a good one (the letter). Gotta print it out so I can shove it in the faces of the RR.

Enjoy the damnation folks!

11-12-2004, 01:09 PM

First time I've seen that letter. It's pretty funny! Thanks for sharing Radar. I'm going send it to another board I post on. They'll love it!

11-10-2004, 01:53 PM	#1
Radar Constitutional Scholar Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Ocala, FL Posts: 4,006	A letter to President Bush... Dear President Bush, Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate. However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination? 7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. __________________ "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin

11-10-2004, 01:54 PM	#2
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	If that hadn't been rehashed and sent around like 2000 times, that would be a lot funnier. I usually see it addressed to Dr. Laura. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

11-10-2004, 01:57 PM	#3
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	You didn't write that in pig's blood I hope. Don't answer the door! __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

11-10-2004, 02:02 PM	#4
flippant shameless....so stop trying so hard....-me Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Colorado location* Posts: 215	Hadn't seen it! Ha HAAA! Is there a way to make them all slaves post mortum? __________________ - I know we won't meet again in the season of blossoms, And I won't sit quietly by drunk in my chamber- YU HSUAN- CHI Ninth Century, CHANG' AN

11-10-2004, 02:22 PM	#7
Radar Constitutional Scholar Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Ocala, FL Posts: 4,006	I like the lesser degrees also, and the "should I smite them?". I wish I could take credit for it, but it came across my email inbox and I thought I'd share. __________________ "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin

11-10-2004, 02:10 PM	#5
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Excellent, Radar. Excellent.

11-10-2004, 02:16 PM	#6
garnet ... Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 657	Haha! I like the "lesser degrees of abomination" line in #6.....

11-10-2004, 03:22 PM	#8
flippant shameless....so stop trying so hard....-me Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Colorado location* Posts: 215	Got to print out for room-mate..............she's gonna love this.... __________________ - I know we won't meet again in the season of blossoms, And I won't sit quietly by drunk in my chamber- YU HSUAN- CHI Ninth Century, CHANG' AN

11-10-2004, 04:00 PM	#10
OnyxCougar Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kingdom of Atlantia Posts: 2,979	there are OTHER abominations, ya know! __________________ Impotentes defendere libertatem non possunt. "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

11-10-2004, 05:29 PM	#11
flippant shameless....so stop trying so hard....-me Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Colorado location* Posts: 215	Wait I might be on the list gotta gooooooooo! __________________ - I know we won't meet again in the season of blossoms, And I won't sit quietly by drunk in my chamber- YU HSUAN- CHI Ninth Century, CHANG' AN

11-10-2004, 08:18 PM	#12
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Yeah, it's been around in one form or another for a long time but it still makes me chuckle. It also make an excellent point. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-12-2004, 01:09 PM	#15
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	First time I've seen that letter. It's pretty funny! Thanks for sharing Radar. I'm going send it to another board I post on. They'll love it!

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