What's upsetting you today? - Page 32

Griff · 09-05-2007, 12:22 PM

Ditto what Zip said.

If it really does happen often, somethings up. Is his work stressful? Health issues? Is the rest of your relationship working? *shrug* Everybodies different, does a different approach work? Anyway, I'm sorry for your troubles.

Griff · 09-05-2007, 12:25 PM

I just remembered your husbands deal on the cancer thread. This could just be the wrong time, but health is on the list.

Cicero · 09-05-2007, 12:28 PM

Griff- please read my post #465. I think you accidently skipped it because we posted at the same time....

You know what? Nevermind. No one needs to read/hear this crap...

Griff · 09-05-2007, 12:39 PM

I just read your other post. I'm way over my head on this. I have no idea where to point you. sorry g

limey · 09-05-2007, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cicero

Griff- please read my post #465. I think you accidently skipped it because we posted at the same time....

You know what? Nevermind. No one needs to read/hear this crap...

Cicero, surely you've been around the Cellar long enough to know that we'll listen if you need to vent - at the very least. There's such a wide mix of people here that someone may come up with helpful suggestion.
I wish that someone were me, but I'm afraid not this time. Your posts about your husband's behaviour chilled me to the marrow. It You may be right - perhaps he is using sex and your desire to be desireable to him in a power play game to control you. But if he's ill with cancer, maybe that's the only thing he thinks he can control right now?
Can you sit and talk to him about it? Could you both get to counselling?
Hugs, anyway.

glatt · 09-05-2007, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cicero

If I knew why he kept doing this the problem would be solved by now.

This is something that you should talk to him about. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with him, and how you deal with things as they come up, but talking is really the best thing you can do right now.

Ask him why he is doing it, and figure out a solution together.

zippyt · 09-05-2007, 03:17 PM

May he just needs a hand !!!

Just kidding , talk will help .

jester · 09-05-2007, 03:48 PM

C – If I remember correctly, I believe you stated that he asked you for a Divorce, in the Relationship Thread? Maybe he still wants it.

He could have fetishes, he doesn’t know how to tell you about.

Or he could be gay and doesn’t know how to tell you that either.

Just random thoughts. I hope things do work out for you though.

DanaC · 09-05-2007, 05:25 PM

Cicero that's a horrible thing to have to deal with. No you aren't crazy to be upset by it.

Cicero · 09-05-2007, 05:37 PM

Yea- I started to talk about it with him this morning. How embarassing....of course it's my fault.

DanaC · 09-05-2007, 05:41 PM

He may be feeling confused about his feelings (or ratherhis lack of desire) and is normalising it in his own mind rather than dealing with it. What the reason might be for his lack of desire is a whole other story.

DucksNuts · 09-05-2007, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat

If BOB is the name of your vibrator, that is hilarious because that is the name my friend uses for hers!!! (yes, my friend. I don't have a name for mine

)

BOB is the universal term for Battery Operated Boyfriend

DucksNuts · 09-05-2007, 06:16 PM

Cicero - sorry to hear about this. I think you have every right to be upset.

Why is it your fault? what did the conversation reveal?

Elspode · 09-05-2007, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

Ohh 'spode, a weeklong trip. I can imagine that is difficult. Getting lucky vibes your way on Friday.

Well, one blessing about how I live my dating life is that there are possibilities, and then there are *certainties*. Friday is a certainty, as is tomorrow night, which just was cemented today. In fact, I have been holding both of these longtime friends/soon to be lovers at bay due to the carrying on with the other gal these past few months.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but I'm not really a slut. Yeah, its not perfectly great, this out of town for a week with the boyfriend thing. Perhaps when I'm drunker later on tonight I'll get on gabbly and spew my guts about my Sunday night fuckfest experience (preview: it was bad).

DucksNuts · 09-05-2007, 07:01 PM

Like ohhhh you dirty boy bad? or bad bad?

09-05-2007, 12:22 PM	#466
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Ditto what Zip said. If it really does happen often, somethings up. Is his work stressful? Health issues? Is the rest of your relationship working? shrug Everybodies different, does a different approach work? Anyway, I'm sorry for your troubles. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

09-05-2007, 12:25 PM	#467
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I just remembered your husbands deal on the cancer thread. This could just be the wrong time, but health is on the list. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

09-05-2007, 12:28 PM	#468
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Griff- please read my post #465. I think you accidently skipped it because we posted at the same time.... You know what? Nevermind. No one needs to read/hear this crap... __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung Last edited by Cicero; 09-05-2007 at 12:35 PM.

09-05-2007, 12:39 PM	#469
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I just read your other post. I'm way over my head on this. I have no idea where to point you. sorry g __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

09-05-2007, 03:17 PM	#472
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	May he just needs a hand !!! Just kidding , talk will help . __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

09-05-2007, 03:48 PM	#473
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	C – If I remember correctly, I believe you stated that he asked you for a Divorce, in the Relationship Thread? Maybe he still wants it. He could have fetishes, he doesn’t know how to tell you about. Or he could be gay and doesn’t know how to tell you that either. Just random thoughts. I hope things do work out for you though.

09-05-2007, 05:25 PM	#474
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Cicero that's a horrible thing to have to deal with. No you aren't crazy to be upset by it.

09-05-2007, 05:37 PM	#475
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Yea- I started to talk about it with him this morning. How embarassing....of course it's my fault. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

09-05-2007, 05:41 PM	#476
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	He may be feeling confused about his feelings (or ratherhis lack of desire) and is normalising it in his own mind rather than dealing with it. What the reason might be for his lack of desire is a whole other story.

09-05-2007, 06:16 PM	#478
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Cicero - sorry to hear about this. I think you have every right to be upset. Why is it your fault? what did the conversation reveal?

09-05-2007, 07:01 PM	#480
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Like ohhhh you dirty boy bad? or bad bad?

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