Christmas Gifts For Men

Nirvana · 12-11-2008, 10:49 AM

Nirvana · 12-11-2008, 11:12 AM

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2007/05...ls-6500-adult/

Griff · 12-11-2008, 02:28 PM

you know the rest

classicman · 12-11-2008, 02:35 PM

lol @ griff - thats a great one!

Elspode · 12-11-2008, 06:02 PM

I don't understand. Is this supposed to be humorous? Or sarcastic?

Seems like some pretty kickass gifts to me.

ZenGum · 12-11-2008, 11:53 PM

Shopping for men? Needs batteries = good. Needs ironing = bad.

wolf · 12-13-2008, 01:18 AM

General rule of thumb ... do not buy a woman a gift that plugs into a wall outlet, unless such gift was specifically requested.

Always buy a man a gift that plugs into a wall outlet, especially if it requires any of the following: grounded outlet, 220 line, or safety glasses.

TheMercenary · 12-13-2008, 04:52 AM

Corded vibraters tend to last much longer so some woment prefer things that plug in over the battery operated model.

skysidhe · 12-13-2008, 08:01 AM

I'd throw it back to him and say, "lazy ass"

skysidhe · 12-13-2008, 08:03 AM

oh the tried and true, " I couldn't think of anything else"

colonge.....unless it's Dolce Cabbana. mmm

xoxoxoBruce · 12-13-2008, 05:13 PM

Rule #1: When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. “Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?” “OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?” Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car: a 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4: Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn’t have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I’m told they do not stink — they are earthy.

Rule #7: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. “Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink.” You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #8: Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. No one knows why.

Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men’s stores.) It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know what it is. (”From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn’t this a starter for a ‘68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.”)

Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That’s why they never cook - but they will barbecue (No one knows why). Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. “Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?”

Rule #11: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to “A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.” Everyone knows why.

Rule #12: Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don’t know why, please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #13: It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to their cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8″ manila rope. No one knows why.

from

monster · 12-13-2008, 08:25 PM

kitchen knives is apparently a good choice

Cloud · 12-13-2008, 08:39 PM

LOL@ Bruce

My name is mud · 12-13-2008, 10:19 PM

I wouldnt mind having a Wunder Boner

Cloud · 12-14-2008, 12:44 AM

wouldn't mind having a pms "off" button, either.

12-14-2008, 12:44 AM	#15
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	wouldn't mind having a pms "off" button, either. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

12-11-2008, 10:49 AM	#1
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	Christmas Gifts For Men __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

12-11-2008, 11:12 AM	#2
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	http://www.weirdasianews.com/2007/05...ls-6500-adult/ __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

12-11-2008, 02:28 PM	#3
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	you know the rest Attached Images __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-11-2008, 02:35 PM	#4
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	lol @ griff - thats a great one! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

12-11-2008, 06:02 PM	#5
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I don't understand. Is this supposed to be humorous? Or sarcastic? Seems like some pretty kickass gifts to me. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

12-11-2008, 11:53 PM	#6
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Shopping for men? Needs batteries = good. Needs ironing = bad. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

12-13-2008, 01:18 AM	#7
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	General rule of thumb ... do not buy a woman a gift that plugs into a wall outlet, unless such gift was specifically requested. Always buy a man a gift that plugs into a wall outlet, especially if it requires any of the following: grounded outlet, 220 line, or safety glasses. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-13-2008, 04:52 AM	#8
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Corded vibraters tend to last much longer so some woment prefer things that plug in over the battery operated model. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

12-13-2008, 08:01 AM	#9
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	I'd throw it back to him and say, "lazy ass"

12-13-2008, 08:03 AM	#10
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	oh the tried and true, " I couldn't think of anything else" colonge.....unless it's Dolce Cabbana. mmm

12-13-2008, 05:13 PM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Rule #1: When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why. Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. “Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?” “OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?” Again, no one knows why. Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car: a 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why. Rule #4: Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn’t have invented Jockey shorts. Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips. Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I’m told they do not stink — they are earthy. Rule #7: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. “Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink.” You get the idea. No one knows why. Rule #8: Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. No one knows why. Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men’s stores.) It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know what it is. (”From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn’t this a starter for a ‘68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.”) Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That’s why they never cook - but they will barbecue (No one knows why). Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. “Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?” Rule #11: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to “A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.” Everyone knows why. Rule #12: Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don’t know why, please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker. Rule #13: It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why. Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to their cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8″ manila rope. No one knows why. from __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-13-2008, 08:25 PM	#12
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	kitchen knives is apparently a good choice __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-13-2008, 08:39 PM	#13
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	LOL@ Bruce __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

12-13-2008, 10:19 PM	#14
My name is mud Smooth Ruffian Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Austin Posts: 47	I wouldnt mind having a Wunder Boner

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)