He Killed A Rabid Mountain Lion With A Skillet

Gravdigr · 05-31-2012, 05:32 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived":

Rabid mountain lion in attack mode no match for Chino Valley man and his frying pan

Ok, he's "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived", second only to "That Guy Who Killed A Grizzly Bear With His Bare Hands And A Stick".

jimhelm · 05-31-2012, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Arnold is sheepish about his heroics, saying Apollo is his baby and he didn't want him to die.

"It was the adrenaline," he said. "I'm not a badass or anything."

footfootfoot · 05-31-2012, 06:06 PM

Then we chopped it into pieces with a meat cleaver and danced about on its grave singing "Hallelujah"

Rhianne · 05-31-2012, 06:34 PM

It was only trying to be friendly.

classicman · 05-31-2012, 11:35 PM

now add a little Marsala glaze with wild mushrooms & chives ...

BigV · 06-01-2012, 12:10 AM

a 14 inch cast iron skillet is a big ass skillet. I have a 13 incher and I can barely lift it. mostly because the handle's too short, and I don't have any mountain lions to motivate me.

glatt · 06-01-2012, 07:39 AM

See, now, I was debating this about 20 years ago with some friends to pass the time during a boring day at work. I said that if you were trapped in a cage with a mountain lion, and all you had was a baseball bat, you could kill the lion. They thought the lion would win every time. I acknowledged that it wouldn't be easy, and that you would have to connect on the first swing, but that it was possible. I feel vindicated.

I wonder where those guys are now?

infinite monkey · 06-01-2012, 07:55 AM

This is a great story.

I was thinking, glatt, hopefully it's a big cage. A circus cage would work, but a big pet crate cage...you wouldn't be able to swing!

glatt · 06-01-2012, 08:38 AM

Oh, absolutely. The cage size was a big part of the discussion until we agreed it was the same size as the room we were all sitting in. About 40 feet by 40 feet. We decided the mountain lion would be avoiding you and you would have to hunt the lion in the room.

infinite monkey · 06-01-2012, 08:40 AM

See, that's great. I just imagine that conversation...fun!

jimhelm · 06-01-2012, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

See, now, I was debating this about 20 years ago with some friends to pass the time during a boring day at work. I said that if you were trapped in a cage with a mountain lion, and all you had was a baseball bat, you could kill the lion. They thought the lion would win every time. I acknowledged that it wouldn't be easy, and that you would have to connect on the first swing, but that it was possible. I feel vindicated.

I wonder where those guys are now?

huh. When I was 20 ish, we were camping, and we found some black bear spoor near camp. That night, when we started getting scared, I got my 24 oz claw hammer (same one I built that deck with) and put it near my sleeping bag. My friends thought I was nuts because I said if a bear attacked, me I would be caving it's head in instead of trying to outrun it.

infinite monkey · 06-01-2012, 09:36 AM

Outrun a bear? Are you MAD?

Bear safety.

Quote:

A bear that stands on its hind feet is usually just trying to get a better look and smell by sniffing the air. This is not an aggressive posture in of itself. It simply means that the bear is unsure of what is in front of him, but still could drop on all fours and charge.

A bear that swings its head from side to side, or turns sideways from you, is expressing a reluctance to charge and is looking for a way out of the situation.

If a bear looks you in the eyes directly and has its ears back, it’s warning that you are too close and feels threatened. A bear may also make barking, woofing or moaning sounds to indicate this.

If a bear "pops" its jaws, it is very agitated and most often will charge. Charges are often a test to resolve a situation and are often "bluff charges" where the bear stops short of you, veers off and runs right past you. A bear might bluff charge many times before leaving. A bear may also bluff charge a few times and then come at you at a different angle.

A bear that does charge, and knocks you down, is attempting to remove a threat. The bear will use as much force as it believes is necessary to remove that threat.

A bear can instantly reach speeds of 30 to 35 miles per hour in a matter of a split second. Never try to outrun a bear, it will only make matters worse

http://www.udap.com/safety.htm

(The More You Know)

I went rugged camping with friends (almost in the UP) and we tied the food in a tree and had a can of bear mace in the middle of camp.

jimhelm · 06-01-2012, 10:45 AM

I learned this later:

You don't have to outrun the bear. You only have to outrun your friends. The same is true of Zombies.

infinite monkey · 06-01-2012, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm

I learned this later:

You don't have to outrun the bear. You only have to outrun your friends. The same is true of Zombies.

Well it's easy to outrun zombies!

Gravdigr · 06-01-2012, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Well it's easy to outrun zombies!

No, no...those are the old and busted zombies (think Night of the Living Dead).

We got these new hotness zombies now-a-days (think 28 Days Later). These fuckers are fast.

05-31-2012, 05:32 PM	#1
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	He Killed A Rabid Mountain Lion With A Skillet Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived": Rabid mountain lion in attack mode no match for Chino Valley man and his frying pan Ok, he's "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived", second only to "That Guy Who Killed A Grizzly Bear With His Bare Hands And A Stick". __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

05-31-2012, 06:06 PM	#3
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Then we chopped it into pieces with a meat cleaver and danced about on its grave singing "Hallelujah" __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-31-2012, 11:35 PM	#5
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	now add a little Marsala glaze with wild mushrooms & chives ... __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

06-01-2012, 12:10 AM	#6
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	a 14 inch cast iron skillet is a big ass skillet. I have a 13 incher and I can barely lift it. mostly because the handle's too short, and I don't have any mountain lions to motivate me. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

06-01-2012, 08:38 AM	#9
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Oh, absolutely. The cage size was a big part of the discussion until we agreed it was the same size as the room we were all sitting in. About 40 feet by 40 feet. We decided the mountain lion would be avoiding you and you would have to hunt the lion in the room. Last edited by glatt; 06-01-2012 at 08:53 AM.

05-31-2012, 06:34 PM	#4
Rhianne Nearly done. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Teetering on the edge. Posts: 1,134	It was only trying to be friendly.

06-01-2012, 07:39 AM	#7
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	See, now, I was debating this about 20 years ago with some friends to pass the time during a boring day at work. I said that if you were trapped in a cage with a mountain lion, and all you had was a baseball bat, you could kill the lion. They thought the lion would win every time. I acknowledged that it wouldn't be easy, and that you would have to connect on the first swing, but that it was possible. I feel vindicated. I wonder where those guys are now?

06-01-2012, 07:55 AM	#8
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	This is a great story. I was thinking, glatt, hopefully it's a big cage. A circus cage would work, but a big pet crate cage...you wouldn't be able to swing!

06-01-2012, 08:40 AM	#10
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	See, that's great. I just imagine that conversation...fun!

06-01-2012, 10:45 AM	#13
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	I learned this later: You don't have to outrun the bear. You only have to outrun your friends. The same is true of Zombies. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

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