Public Displays of Affection (long)

[Sun_Sparkz]

In moderation, I really don't think there is anything wrong with public displays of affection. A casual kiss here, or a nice little hug there, what could be so offensive about that? Its better, I think, than seeing two people bickering or fighting.



Not that I agree with these gross couples who maul each other in public, but that is not what I am talking about.. I'm talking nice, sweet couple stuff. Not big slobbery pashing and groping.

Now I would like to hear other peoples opinion of my encounter this morning on the train on the way to work.. was I in the wrong?! or has the whole elderly world gone mad?

This morning on the train to work, I'd had a job interview before I got on the train and I was stressing out a little about how I had gone in the interview. My partner was holding my hand from the seat next to me and also reassuring me, maybe a few times he had kissed my cheek and my forehead. In the carriage with us there were 4 old ladies and one old man (all about 70 years old, all sitting separately. They all appeared to be sane and without disabilities). Anyway, this old man behind us started shaking his finger at us..

"Its not the kissing train!" he was exclaiming to us in his annoying old man voice.

My partner and I looked at each other thinking "is this guy for real?" So I just ignored the man and continued reading my notes. then one of the old ladies who was sitting in front of us (a few seats ahead and couldn't even see us!) shoots us an angry look and mutters "how rude".

Then the guy behind us starts up again.. "It's disgusting.. young people today... its not the sex train you know!"

Now.. let me remind you that all we were doing is holding hands, a few cheek kisses and that's it. You see worse in the school playground! so I snapped. I was already stressed out about my interview going so badly so I turned around and said..

"Does it look like we are having sex to you?" I yelled with all my bitchy attitude.. "If you don't like it why don't you move"

Then this old guy says "Ill go and tell the train driver about your kissing! how would you like that!" so I said "I'm sure Mr. Train driver would happily advise you that this is a free country and if my boyfriend wants to give me a kiss or hold my hand he is free to do so"

Then they ALL started on us.. it was like an Assassination of the kissing couple by the pensioner prude society of geriatrics. It was on for young and old!! (literally!!)



By this time we hadn't even kissed in about 5 minuets (we had only done so maybe 3 times all up anyway) and he was still crapping on behind us, my Boyfriend turned around and told him them shut up or move and all this guy kept saying is "its not the kissing train..its not the kissing train!"

I said loudly to my partner "Oh my, wait a minute check your ticket sweetheart! I think he is right! we must have missed the sex train and this must be the train for old fools who have no lives!"

With that we stood up and my boyfriend said "sorry for the inconvenience" to all the old prudes on the train.

I said "have a good day mate" with as much nasty sarcasm as I could manage. "You should learn to respect your elders" he spat at me (and I mean literally he was spitting that old man drool everywhere!) So I replied to him.. "Don't you dare talk to me about respect and morality... There is nothing Illegal or disrespectful about a supportive kiss on the cheek, However If you want to get into a debate with me about Morals and legalities then I suggest you take a look at your own behaviour, whilst you are verbally harassing strangers on the train!"

He kept talking but I stopped listening after this and the rest of the old biddies just sat there going "good day to you, good day to you" in a dismissive, bickering little way.

Then it was our stop and we alighted the train with a mixture of frustration and ridiculous humour to giggle about on the rest of the way to work!

Edited to tell you its a long post!! sorry!

[zippyt]

Fuck those stupid old folks , kiss your SO in public if you want . who the FUCK are they to say any thing ??? They should BE so lucky to have some body to love and support them in a time of stress !!!!!! Let those oldsters natter on , smile and flash a tit at them as you leve the train !!!!

[Sun_Sparkz]

Halleluiah!!

[bluesdave]

Without having witnessed your encounter it is difficult to comment, but on the surface it seems that the old fella over reacted. It sounds to me like he has a problem. He could well have early dementia or Alzheimer's, so maybe you should be feeling sorry for him rather than being angry with him. You won't believe it now, but one day you will be old too.

[Sun_Sparkz]

Yeah i did consider this (dementia or like) when we were arguing, but from what i could gather he seemed all there to me.

I think the rest were just sad, busy~body old bats that oughtta learn to stay out of other peoples business!

They ruined our morning, I just wish that i couldv'e said a bit more/ done something different.

I always think of the perfect comebacks after I leave the situation in which I need them.

[bluesdave]

Oh well, it sounds like they were all jerks. I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but apparently they were showing a lack of class. One thing you learn as you get older is that being old doesn't make a person smarter, or a better person. Some people learn from their life experiences, and some don't.

[zippyt]

Sparky ,,, my wife and i have been married for 15 years , we still find corners to smooch in , still show affection to eachother in public , still say and MEAN
" I love you !!!!!"
I have had folks say to me " How CAN you do that in public "??? I ask them how CAN'T YOU ??????

[Sun_Sparkz]

Ohhh.. Zippy thanks!! I know exactly what you mean!

Thats so refreshing to hear!

I think people who have a problem with public affection need to take look at the reasons why they dont like it.. If you love someone.. no one in the world has the right to be offended by that! Its a beautiful, loving thing, not a "disgusting" thing.

next time we should really give them old codgers a show!!

[Griff]

Man I hate random acts of meaness. That kind of thing just sticks with you. I'm with Zip, there's something wrong with a world where you can't show affection.

[Cyber Wolf]

Sounds to me they don't realize what era they're living in. If they were all around 70 years old or so, then they grew up in the 30s. Keep in mind, back then, much much less was considered naughty and just about anything that went beyond genteel was flat out sex . Seeing a woman's leg above the knee almost unthinkable. Kissing in public was supposed to be no more than a social peck on the cheek, Hi how are you, darling, I haven't seen you in ages!, etc... And if you HAD to kiss your sweetie in public you did it where there was no one around...the field of a large park, inside your house...

I wouldn't chalk it up too 100% crotchetyoldpersonism (there's a tendency to live in the times you grew up in no matter how old you are) but they do need to realize that it's not the 1930's and 1940's anymore and that the social ettiquite they had drilled in their heads has undergone major changes since then.

I hear back then you also didn't cuss in public!

[lumberjim]

i could fill a book with comebacks that came to me 5 minutes too late

You should have said," look, granpa, this is my brother, and our parents won't let us kiss like this at home, so where do you expect us to go?" and then mooned him.

[dar512]

Never try to reason with the unreasonable.

Yeah, I'm not any good at this either, but when I do keep myself under control, I feel better for it.

A "Shove off!" is all he deserved.

Or you could have gone into "Movie kiss"™ mode (lots of head movement and sucking noise accompaniment) - then ignored him for the rest of the trip.

[OnyxCougar]

I would have said, "Oh, you think THAT was a kiss? Let me SHOW you what a kiss is!" and gotten ALL open mouth tongue kissing and stuff on em for like 5 minutes. And if they say anything else just smile angelicly and say, "Well it's obvious you like to watch...want to see more?"

hehehehe....but then, I'm a bitch.....

[hot_pastrami]

Old age is no excuse for being an ass. Really. Everyone gets a pretty decent helping of courteous respect from me until they give me a reason to take it away. I'd have probably affixed an annoyed tone to a couple courteous "leave us alone" comments, and failing that, I'd have said something along the lines of "Listen you onery old crank... Just because you can't get it up anymore doesn't mean the rest of us have to live like monks. Mind your own business."

Or even better, ignore their comments... and if they continue unabated, start a real heavy, sloppy make out session, with wanding hands, tongues... the whole works. They'll shut up then, if only long enough to have a coronary.

I have little patience for assholes these days, and I generally pay them back in kind. I can't say whether that's a step forward or back.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Cyber Wolf

Sounds to me they don't realize what era they're living in. If they were all around 70 years old or so, then they grew up in the 30s. Keep in mind, back then, much much less was considered naughty and just about anything that went beyond genteel was flat out sex . Seeing a woman's leg above the knee almost unthinkable. Kissing in public was supposed to be no more than a social peck on the cheek, Hi how are you, darling, I haven't seen you in ages!, etc... And if you HAD to kiss your sweetie in public you did it where there was no one around...the field of a large park, inside your house...

With all due respect, bullshit. Unless they've just come out of a 75 year coma or a TV-less cave, they have to have noticed the world has changed. They don't have to like it but they have to acknowledge it.