5/22/2006: Coors Light townhouse

axlrosen suggests this bunch, which tell the story of a sad gentleman who consumed 70,000 Coors Light cans over 8 years and never threw any of the empties away.



That's 24 "silver bullets" a day average.



But you know, the most interesting part of the full story are these two details:

Oh

My

Fucking

God.

This actually isn't that bad. You hear about hoarders with houses filled with crap. Takes weeks to clean them out, and the houses are trashed afterwards.

These really appear to just be cans. You could use a plastic snow shovel to shovel them outside and into a dumpster. Then recycle them. Would only take a day or two. Open the windows for a while and the smell would probably go away.

The amazing story here is that he drank a case a day and was able to function.

it was coors light. 70,000x.05 = $3500.

Heh...that looks eerily familiar.

I had a tenant family once that totally trashed the place they rented from me.

Free curbside garbage pickup and they stuffed all their bags into the carport shed instead of walk 10 feet to the curb. It was so full that they were barely able to get the door closed...all the way up to the ceiling. It took me a week and 107 lawn garbage bags to empty it out. Had to bribe the garbage man to haul it all away too. You really don't want details of what kind of crud was crawling in there.

They emptied their ashtrays into the broom closet instead of the trash can which resulted in a 3 feet deep pile of nasty butts.

They took beer bottle caps and pushed them into the ceiling tiles, creating a sort of trashy new look. The entire ceiling was covered in beer caps.

They took down the custom drapes and nailed them over the screens on the screened in porch.

I don't think they once cleaned the bathroom. I've seen cleaner ones in abandoned industrial buildings. (It had to be torn out and completely rebuilt).

They smashed the outside walls by driving a vehicle into them. Apparently while fighting, the wife tried to run down the husband and got the building instead...repeatedly.

When I had the sheriff evict them, they left a lot of stuff behind including closets full of things with the price tags still attached (stolen?).

Lovely family . Mother, father, teenager, a pre-teen and a toddler.

Never again will I be a landlord. Ever.

Stormie

you said i could do the thing with the bottlecaps

The beer cost him around 44,000 dollars. Wow

Stormie, my momma had a tenant like that once. Problem was they also were one of those weird folks who decide to hoard *dogs*. Aside from the den of garbage, SPCA removed some large number of setters from the place, in terrible condition.

Now the bad news, the parts of the place that weren't ruined, we had to live in. It was our house that was temporarily rented out and we had to return to it.

It was my job to clean the dead rats up after our homemade rat poison+oats mixture did its job.

(Ma, it has been an interesting life so far and I do believe I am far richer for having gone through all that stuff.)

That's my only beef with rat poison. I prefer traps. You know where the dead rat will be, and it won't show up in some unfortunate place where it will die.

see what happens when you drink american light beer

Man, now I don't feel so bad about the two minor paint scuffs/scratches I caused moving in/out of my last place....

sez you. you just gotta know how to cook em

The amazing thing about this story is his choice of beer. Surely the first can would be enough to put anyone off that weak tasteless piss forever?

Can you imagine what that smelled like? The leftover swill at the bottom of each can, fermenting for years........ eeeeewww...

(Ma, it has been an interesting life so far and I do believe I am far richer for having gone through all that stuff.)

But remember, I told you to wear gloves!

8 beers over 8 hours is nothing. i wouldnt even feel it. i have that much in half the time and can still vacuum. (long story)
but yeah no need of a hang over.

Yeah a beer an hour is standard for staying under .08, assuming it is not above 5. something

Well I would post my consumption rate on a good day, but I'm afraid it might be a bad influence on some of the younger members.

I thought you were off the sauce buster? Or are you talking old times?

Snopes covers this today with larger images and one additional twist on the tale:

"THESE PICTURES DON'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO WHAT IT REALLY LOOKED LIKE. CENTURY 21 HAD ALREADY MOVED SOME OF THE CANS OUT AND HAD CAVED IN TUNNELS THAT HE HAD MADE TO GET TO THE BEDROOM, BATHROOM, AND KITCHEN."