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   Undertoad  Thursday Aug 24 01:59 PM

August 24, 2006: Longest fingernails



Enough with all the seriousness of the world. This woman in Salt Lake City decided in 1979 that she'd had it with filing her nails down. Now they're 33 inches long and she's going in the Guinness Book.

full story

Quote:
Astonishingly, she claims it does not hamper her efforts to cook, clean and look after her husband.

But the extraordinarily long fingernails are a sight so bizarre, many feel they have to look away - and even Mrs Redmond admits her unsightly nails terrify children.

She says her philosophy that "you are what you eat" has influenced their rapid growth.

She eats a high-protein diet, which is what hair and nails are mostly made of. She used to soak them in warm olive oil once a week, but now she no longer has time, and her nails are too long to fit in the fry pan.



glatt  Thursday Aug 24 02:24 PM

OK. This is strange. I remember as a kid looking at that entry in Guinness and wondering WTF. But now, my imagination is really running.

How does she sleep? What position can she get in that would actually be comfortable and not some strange compromise of comfort/nail protecting mode?

How does she wipe after going to the bathroom #1 or #2?

How does she really do anything? Hold a pen? Drive a car?

I'd really like to see a video of her doing basic stuff that we take for granted.

How does she brush her hair? Paint her nails?



bbro  Thursday Aug 24 02:28 PM

There is a video at the bottom of the article. Half of it is some other women, but the second half is this woman



glatt  Thursday Aug 24 02:39 PM

That video was amazing. She seems to have adapted remarkably well.

The most amazing thing was watching her thread the nails through the loops of the scissors so she could cut the kid's hair. I'm really impressed with how she can live with those things.



Trilby  Thursday Aug 24 03:30 PM

What strikes me is that both women talk about all the attention their freakishly long and, in my opinion, grotesque nails affords them.

The chick in the video with the long toenails? Vomworthy.



Shawnee123  Thursday Aug 24 03:37 PM

What's the freaking point? (Pun not intended.)



bbro  Thursday Aug 24 03:47 PM

Fingernails don't bother me as much as the toenails did. They are just disgusting. Could you imagine walking around with those in a crowd? Either you're losing a toenail or slicing someone's achilles tendon. Ew



ferret88  Thursday Aug 24 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt
Paint her nails?
with a LOT of paint!!!


The 42  Thursday Aug 24 04:57 PM

Wasn't there some indian guy with much longer nails (on one hand) than that? There's a picture of him in my year 2000 Guinnes world records book, but he's not on the site anymore and I can't find him on google



Elspode  Thursday Aug 24 05:32 PM

The picture is flipped. Or she's wearing her wedding ring on the wrong finger.

Any video of her giving a hand job? *That* I would really like to see.



Elspode  Thursday Aug 24 05:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbro
There is a video at the bottom of the article. Half of it is some other women, but the second half is this woman
Strange...the video will only play halfway through for me, and then shuts off at the same point each time.


limey  Thursday Aug 24 06:04 PM

It plays all the way through for me :p ... The nails seem flexible and a lot of the time she can bend them back out of the way. The spookiest thing was seeing her thread her fingernails through the sleeve of her jacket before putting her arm in the sleeve



astrodex  Thursday Aug 24 06:18 PM

OK, forget the nails. (Is that even possible?) I could never go to a hairdresser with hair that horrifying.



Trilby  Thursday Aug 24 06:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by astrodex
OK, forget the nails. (Is that even possible?) I could never go to a hairdresser with hair that horrifying.



Leah  Thursday Aug 24 06:53 PM

She is one sick little puppy. Yuck.



Wombat  Thursday Aug 24 07:08 PM

Gross.

How does she wipe her arse?



Karenv  Thursday Aug 24 07:13 PM

What a waste of a life. She could be helping save the world .... and she grows fingernails?



xoxoxoBruce  Thursday Aug 24 07:40 PM

Doing things to make hygiene more difficult, don't sound like a good plan to me.



Happy Monkey  Thursday Aug 24 07:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspode
The picture is flipped. Or she's wearing her wedding ring on the wrong finger.
She probably started putting the ring on one nail, and by the time she realized it was the wrong one, it just wasn't worth fixing.


Ibby  Thursday Aug 24 11:23 PM

Yeah, I KNOW there's some indian dude with fingernails so long they just roll into a massive spiral. Maybe they decided he doesnt count cause he only has it on one hand?



depmats  Thursday Aug 24 11:43 PM

Can we just club her like a baby seal?



incommunicadocat  Friday Aug 25 02:31 AM

Hideho.
I'm thinking this is a wig she is wearing.
I'm imagining it hangs off a peg in her specially engineered bathroom, and each morning she steps under and it wraps itself around her naturally bald scalp. Look Ma, no hands.
It may be an intelligent wig, and may, in actuality, be the only sentinent part of her.
In fact, it is a member of an alien species, wearing an outrageous human form so bizarre no one will notice its' seventeen beady little eyes. Classic case of misdirection... and sleight of hand?






breakingnews  Friday Aug 25 02:52 AM

i bet those things make a helluva good booger scraper.

<glass half full>

and I agree with whoever said this is a waste of time/effort. it's just so ... pointless. go do something else with your life. but this is the state of the world - everything is about being the biggest, the most, the longest.



xoxoxoBruce  Friday Aug 25 05:01 AM

But, you see, it is her life. It's the thing that defines her now. Her claim to fame.

You can imagine what a huge pain in the ass they are, maybe literally. They scare children, repulse many people, they control, or at least highly affect, every aspect of her life. That said, she's persisted with them, so the attention they bring must be what drives her.

Class A attention whore.



rupip  Friday Aug 25 07:59 AM

she must be the inspiration behind "edward scissorhands" - and it is not only the nails! also the very special hair.

by the way here is the indian guy with the REALLY longest fingernails of the world. maybe the people promoting her think that India is not on this planet...



xoxoxoBruce  Friday Aug 25 08:17 AM

Since the Guinness Book is in the UK, maybe the publisher is pissy about that ingrate colony.
By Jove, we'll take away their fingernail record....that will teach that Gandhi bloke.



glatt  Friday Aug 25 09:09 AM

I imagine there are different categories i the Guinness book. She has them on both hands, which I had never seen before. So maybe that's the category she is in.

And I can see how this happens. She doesn't clip them for a while, and they just slowly get longer. She gets used to them. I bet it has been very easy for her to adjust to having these, since it was so gradual. Now if she cuts them off, she's making a bold change. She's in a rut with no courage to get out.



depmats  Friday Aug 25 09:30 AM

Think how the average woman reacts when she breaks a nail. Now multiply that by 17 levels of insanity. Her husband will rue the day he asks her to do something that results in that broken nail.



lulu  Friday Aug 25 08:39 PM

To each their own and all that, but... gross in my opinion.



The 42  Sunday Aug 27 11:37 AM

Quote:
by the way here is the indian guy with the REALLY longest fingernails of the world.
There it is! Thanks rupip! There's a picture in my 2000 world records book but it wouldn't fit in my scanner and anyway it would have come out crappy quality- that's how it is with glossy paper...


capnhowdy  Sunday Aug 27 02:13 PM

I don't reckon She would make it very far as a jell-o wrestler. And I agree that a hand job would be out of the question. These things could really put your eye out.



Shawnee123  Monday Aug 28 09:57 AM

She looks like a negative image of Elvira.



wolf  Monday Aug 28 07:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by astrodex
OK, forget the nails. (Is that even possible?) I could never go to a hairdresser with hair that horrifying.
I could never go to the hairdresser that gave her that 'do.

Just like the childhood puzzle story about the town with two barbers.

Oh, and PLEASE tell me that she didn't use the fry pan in question for anything else ... like cooking.

"She used to soak them in warm olive oil once a week, but now she no longer has time, and her nails are too long to fit in the fry pan."


Elspode  Tuesday Sep 5 12:08 AM

Kiddy wading pool?



Tin Man  Wednesday Sep 6 06:04 AM

As others here have already said, WHY!!!! Woman, you are a waste of skin, slice and dice yourself. But at least she'll never have an itch she can't scratch.

BTW, xoxoxobruce, Guinness are Irish. And another thing - George W Bush and his pursuit of the global American Dream. Kinda makes Brit bashing pointless on your part. Nuff said!



xoxoxoBruce  Wednesday Sep 6 09:13 PM

Yeah, Irish...I knew that.
But chill out, Tin Man. I'm not bashing anyone. Just a little humour, ok?



Tin Man  Friday Sep 8 04:05 AM

Lol! Hi, xoxoxbruce, we do seem to cross our humour swords, don't we? As I said in another thread we were on, I was having a bad day that day and was a touchy old sod. I've got my funny bone back in place now. Even so, I think you miss the humour in my putdowns as well. Or maybe I don't have funny typing fingers. Ah well, we must share a chat and pint of Guinness sometime.



limey  Friday Sep 8 02:15 PM

I must say that I took Tin Man's user title seriously and decided not to rise to the bait in case it proved me to be a moron (sorry , xob, I don't think of you that way, y'know ... ). I'll buy you a Guinness while you're over here, too ...



Sundae  Friday Sep 8 02:34 PM

Jumping on a barely perceived bandwagon - I'd buy Bruce a Guinness if he came to the UK too.

In fact I'll buy any Dwellar one. If you come to Leicester I'll throw in an All You Can Eat Curry. Otherwise it's just a drink of your choice.



Undertoad  Friday Sep 8 02:45 PM

Clearly xoB must go, because he'll be off his ass in free beer!

I have this fantasy where I'm rich enough to go around the world meeting all Dwellars who would be interested in a handshake and a beer and a friendly conversation.



xoxoxoBruce  Friday Sep 8 03:56 PM

Well UT, since you've decided to marry the fabulous Jacquelita for love, instead of some wealthy heiress for money, we'll have to find another way.

I'm up for a go at filtering some of that British beer. I'll ask my boss if I can borrow a 747, and we'll take the whole crew.....and we won't have to take our shoes off.



limey  Friday Sep 8 06:25 PM

So, SundaeGirl, I can arrange cheap accommodation (self-catering @ 15/person/night, catered will cost a leetle more) in my neck of the woods, for about 23 Dwellars. Could you match that in your part of the world - can we, and any other UK Dwellars, organise a Cellar tour of the UK, I wonder, with advice on the cheapest/best routes from A to B ... ?



Clodfobble  Thursday Sep 14 02:35 PM

Just happened to see another news story about this woman, and they included an extra tidbit:

Quote:
Redmond said she was once offered more than $100,000 from people in Japan for her nails, but she just couldn't bring herself to part with them.
People will buy the strangest crap.


rkzenrage  Thursday Sep 14 06:36 PM

She better sell... they may poach her ass for an aphrodisiac.

"you want crazy chick nail soup? $400 a thimble? Get yer' yang up!"



Undertoad  Thursday Feb 12 11:56 PM

via Fark, followup

http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_11688862

Pileup shatters SLC woman's fingernail record

Quote:
The Guinness World Record for longest fingernails was broken Wednesday, so to speak.

The fingernails Salt Lake City resident Lee Redmond has been growing since 1979 were broken off in a four-car pileup Wednesday in Holladay, said Salt Lake County sheriff's spokesman Don Hutson.

Redmond was a passenger in one of the cars in the 1:30 p.m. crash. She and at least two others were taken to a hospital with minor injuries, Hutson said. She was ejected from the vehicle, Hutson said.

Redmond's nails were 33 inches long when The Tribune last interviewed her in 2007. She then was 66. In a 1995 article, she said she once turned down $10,000 to trim her nails on Japanese TV.



Shawnee123  Friday Feb 13 12:04 AM

You could use them as decorative curtains.



lumberjim  Friday Feb 13 12:25 AM

august 24, 2006.

my 36th birthday

i have no recollection of it.



dar512  Friday Feb 13 10:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim View Post
august 24, 2006.

my 36th birthday

i have no recollection of it.
The entire birthday or just this thread?


dar512  Friday Feb 13 10:25 AM

How did this woman get dressed? How do you zip a zipper or button a button with those things?



monster  Saturday Feb 14 09:30 PM

or wipe your arse?



xoxoxoBruce  Saturday Feb 14 09:45 PM

Or fasten your seat belt.



Shawnee123  Saturday Feb 14 09:46 PM

Or pick your nose? Come on...



monster  Saturday Feb 14 09:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Or fasten your seat belt.

ha!


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