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   Undertoad  Tuesday Apr 3 01:07 PM

April 3, 2007: Don't swim in Congo River

"Don't swim in Congo River," is the only information on the post that OynxCougar just sent along. I don't like to run these sort of blind items, where we don't know the full story. But it doesn't look like a hoax in any case.

Just to be sure, I have now ruled out swimming in even a swimming pool, in any of the countries where this river flows, as well as all natural bodies of water that are connected to the Congo in any way.

TheMercenary  Tuesday Apr 3 01:09 PM

What the hell is that?

Sundae  Tuesday Apr 3 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by TheMercenary View Post
What the hell is that?
I can't be sure, but I think it's a moustache.

Shawnee123  Tuesday Apr 3 01:15 PM

I can't figure out what kind of fish it is, but dammit SG, you had me googling for "moustache fish."

Sheldonrs  Tuesday Apr 3 01:16 PM

That's one of the scariest things I've ever seen! And he's holding a big fish too!

jinx  Tuesday Apr 3 01:17 PM

Google says it's a Goliath Tigerfish.

Shawnee123  Tuesday Apr 3 01:20 PM

Damn beat me to it, I just found Tigerfish.

TheMercenary  Tuesday Apr 3 01:22 PM

Kitsune  Tuesday Apr 3 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by TheMercenary View Post
What the hell is that?
Hopefully not the fish that swims up your urethra when you piss while swimming in the river.

LabRat  Tuesday Apr 3 02:18 PM

I wanna know how they ended up with it out of the water...

piercehawkeye45  Tuesday Apr 3 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by Kitsune View Post
Hopefully not the fish that swims up your urethra when you piss while swimming in the river.
I will never pee in a river again after seeing the parasite thing on the discovery channel. It still gives me chills just thinking about it.

freshnesschronic  Tuesday Apr 3 03:24 PM

The love child of a bass and a worm from the movie Tremors.
Those are some respectable teeth, no doubt. I wonder how strong the jaw is, those guys have their fingers in its mouth holding it open.

piercehawkeye45  Tuesday Apr 3 03:33 PM

It's probably dead.

Chinditz  Tuesday Apr 3 04:10 PM

Thanks guy's,

Thank you very much indeed, here I am sweating, pretending to look for the best car-insurance (In a vain attempt to block out the girlfriends nagging about that same subject) I decide to waste some time here on the cellar, I click:" open the cellar in a new tab" and go to the kitchen get a cup of coffee, girlfriend saunters over to the computer, innocently clicks the tab, and that picture comes up.


rkzenrage  Tuesday Apr 3 04:25 PM

Yeah, they have a catfish that has sharp fins that go one way that will swim up your penis and cannot come back down because the fins get "lodged".... this fish does not scare me nearly as much.
It has been described by adventurers as "the worst thing you can imagine".
If I were to swim in the Amazon I'm wearin' protection.

OB  Tuesday Apr 3 07:01 PM


Wow, what a fish...and I had never heard anything about that catfish you were speaking of, rzkenrage. Anyone got a link or information on that?

jinx  Tuesday Apr 3 07:30 PM

or Vampire catfish

xoxoxoBruce  Tuesday Apr 3 09:02 PM

Not to be confused with a Giant Golden tiger Fish.

freshnesschronic  Tuesday Apr 3 09:18 PM

Holy crap. I've never even had a catheter in me, let alone a goddamn fish.

cjbutton  Tuesday Apr 3 09:28 PM


One of the links says..."get's along with anything too big to eat." What does this thing get along with, and elephant?

Aliantha  Tuesday Apr 3 09:33 PM

Lends new meaning to the term, 'get a mullet up ya'

zippyt  Tuesday Apr 3 09:44 PM

That fish is EVIL !!!!!!!

piercehawkeye45  Wednesday Apr 4 12:14 AM

Originally Posted by zippyt View Post

That fish is EVIL !!!!!!!
How do you know?

I think it looks rather sweet.

zippyt  Wednesday Apr 4 12:31 AM

Then why don't YOU go skinny dipping in that river and report back to us .

piercehawkeye45  Wednesday Apr 4 01:07 AM


zippyt  Wednesday Apr 4 01:14 AM

But I thought it was a SWEET fishy ??!!

piercehawkeye45  Wednesday Apr 4 01:23 AM

How about this, I'll do it if you do it.

zippyt  Wednesday Apr 4 01:38 AM

No you first ,

danman_d  Wednesday Apr 4 02:05 AM

jesus. reminds me of my ex-girlfriend.

and i bet the blowjobs would be of similar quality, too.

Aliantha  Wednesday Apr 4 02:06 AM

now who wants a blowjob from a fish?

freshnesschronic  Wednesday Apr 4 02:24 AM

Dirty mind. I was thinking of when a girlfriend transforms into a monster and yells.

tw  Wednesday Apr 4 03:29 AM

Maybe 1.5 months ago, a Brit started a swim the entire length of the Amazon River. That one also has some mean predators. Any word as to how he is doing? Or did his fate terminate the story?

onetrack  Wednesday Apr 4 10:09 AM

Hmmm .. and I thought the Barracuda was a nasty piece of work .. ..

tw - The guy doing the Amazon marathon swim is a Slovenian .. and he's nearly there. He started Feb 1st, and is only a few days away from finishing. I thought he was swimming in a towed cage .. but apparently he's only using a heavy duty wetsuit ..

His website is high tech, and full of pics and videos ..

chrisinhouston  Wednesday Apr 4 11:17 AM

Originally Posted by Shawnee123 View Post
Damn beat me to it, I just found Tigerfish.

from the website: Comments
African Tiger Fish are not recommended as aquarium fish except in very large public aquariums. These fish are relatives of the Piranha but grow to be much larger than Piranhas.

lawman  Wednesday Apr 4 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by Aliantha View Post
now who wants a blowjob from a fish?
isn't that why there are blowfish? oh wait, those will kill you too!

piercehawkeye45  Wednesday Apr 4 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by zippyt View Post
No you first ,
No, you first!

xoxoxoBruce  Wednesday Apr 4 07:34 PM

Who are you arguing "you first" over, Britney or Paris?

TheMercenary  Wednesday Apr 4 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Not to be confused with a Giant Golden tiger Fish.
I can't imagine that a fish that old or big would taste any good.

xoxoxoBruce  Wednesday Apr 4 10:33 PM

It may not be old, I don't know how fast they grow.

Your reply here?

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