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   xoxoxoBruce  Thursday Sep 3 01:31 AM

Sept 3, 2009: Fart Smeller

No, not the brown-nosing dork at school, it's a Cornell University senior project, in computer-engineering class.

Quote:
After learning in class how breathalyzers work, Robert Clain and Miguel Salas assembled a fart detector from a sensitive hydrogen sulfide monitor, a thermometer and a microphone and wrote the software that would rate the emission. A “slight perturbance in the air” near the detector sets it to work measuring the three pillars of fart quality: stench, temperature and sound. Temperature, Clain explains, is critical. The hotter a fart, the faster it spreads.


It's not just a joke, it actually has useful applications.

Quote:
The contraption could even have use outside of fraternity houses, Clain says, as a biosensor for harmful hydrogen-sulfide-producing bacteria in hospitals. Or dentists could use it to measure oral malodor. They’ve also received some interest from doctors with four-legged patients. “You can test the health of livestock through the quality of their farts,” Salas says. “Smell and sound can tell you a lot about their bowel movements.”
Oh, and the Prof gave them an A for the project.

link


SPUCK  Thursday Sep 3 06:28 AM

Monster!
Front and center!



capnhowdy  Thursday Sep 3 08:03 AM

Takes a couple of smart fellers to invent something like this.



classicman  Thursday Sep 3 08:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy View Post
Takes a couple of fart smellers to invent something like this.
fixed that for ya.


dlturman  Thursday Sep 3 10:21 AM

Seeing how it's the one who smelt it, is it also the one who dealt it? Rendering it useless.



Nirvana  Thursday Sep 3 11:07 AM

I must not be very smart
I clicked on a story about farts!



Shawnee123  Thursday Sep 3 11:12 AM

So I sent the link to my two brothers (who bring family and love and fart machines to most holiday functions) and copied mom who wrote back and said "You know one of those will show up at Christmas, don't you?"



jpc  Thursday Sep 3 11:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy View Post
Takes a couple of smart fellers to invent something like this.
"Takes a couple of smart fellers to invent a fart smeller"


monster  Thursday Sep 3 11:25 AM

Was the carpet brown before people started testing this?



monster  Thursday Sep 3 11:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy View Post
Takes a couple of smart fellers to invent something like this.
Q: how many IOTD readers does it take to make a wisecrack?

A: three. one two make it and two to spell it out in case it was accidental and they can get the funnies credit for it




Shawnee123  Thursday Sep 3 11:30 AM

HA! (cause I was gonna say something.)



newtimer  Thursday Sep 3 12:29 PM

Quote:
...smell and sound can tell you a lot about their bowel movements...
If the fart doesn't smell like a cow's backside and if it doesn't bellow like a cow's frontside, then the cow is probably dead. Do we need a machine to tell us that?


spudcon  Thursday Sep 3 12:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by newtimer View Post
If the fart doesn't smell like a cow's backside and if it doesn't bellow like a cow's frontside, then the cow is probably dead. Do we need a machine to tell us that?
Spoken with the authority of one who is obviously very familiar with cow farts.


dmg1969  Thursday Sep 3 01:39 PM

Having worked on a relatives dairy farm every summer growing up, you can find out all about the quality of a cow's bowel movements by being behind one when the tail goes up and it lets loose.



newtimer  Thursday Sep 3 03:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by spudcon View Post
Spoken with the authority of one who is obviously very familiar with cow farts.
Yes, I have made the mistake of driving through Wisconsin with the windows rolled down.


Cicero  Thursday Sep 3 05:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dlturman View Post
Seeing how it's the one who smelt it, is it also the one who dealt it? Rendering it useless.
LOL!

Or perhaps it is designed to refute this myth. Finally!!


Queen of the Ryche  Friday Sep 4 01:53 PM

Hey you guys, did you get the joke about the Smart Fellers?



ToastyKen  Sunday Sep 6 04:58 PM

That's actually been commercialized! I saw one of these in person many years ago. Sadly I believe they are no longer for sale. See below.

My coworker bought it from Ace Hardware, and we tested it with a lighter; I suppose it detects methane? The red light would start blinking, and a recording would say something like, "WARNING! FART DETECTED!" Followed by a klaxon.



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