Undertoad Saturday Sep 20 12:36 PM9/20/2003: Digital bugle

Problem: there are more veterans dying than there are available bugle players to play taps for them.
Awkward solution: someone brings along a boom box and plays it. Highly unsatisfying, inappropriate, undignified, etc.
Best solution: hire hundreds more bugle players. Too expensive.
Good compromise: record the best playing of taps you can find, store it digitally in a device that fits in the horn of any ordinary bugle and can play loud, and play with the press of a single button. Now anybody can play taps as long as they're willing to maintain their dignity while faking it.
Nothing But Net Saturday Sep 20 01:27 PMThat looks more like a cop with a radar gun.
If I can't have the real deal, just hum it.
Stonan Saturday Sep 20 01:56 PMMay seem like a dumb question but how hard is it to learn how to play a bugle? I don't think it has any 'keys' or 'plungers' or whatever they're called so it seems to me that it's kinda like blowing into a conch shell. I can't play an instument to save my life but I can blow a conch shell like Hawaiian native and it didn't take that long to learn.
I think the army still gives K.P. duty. If they offered bugle lessons as an alternate choice, I think I know what I'd be doing....
elSicomoro Saturday Sep 20 02:03 PMSpeaking from personal experience, it can be rather difficult. You have to have a lot of wind power, and yet you have to blow into it just right to get the desired sound, pitch, and crispness.
Elspode Saturday Sep 20 02:05 PMSyc is right...there are few experiences more painful, both auditorially and aesthetically, than listening to someone *try* to play a bugle.
Bitman Saturday Sep 20 04:51 PMTrue, brass isn't hard to play, but it's hard to play well. Your lips need to be toned just right so it doesn't sound like you're blowing raspberries through a conch shell. Further, it's not too hard to play out of tune, even if the horn is in tune. (I used to play french horn; fun in retrospect, but I didn't like all the practicing.)
xoxoxoBruce Saturday Sep 20 07:15 PMGetting soldiers to play the bugle isn't hard. It's called a direct order, Which is about the best incentive you can get. But I think the point was, with thousands of veteran's funerals every month getting enough bugle players up to speed and out to where the funerals are, is an expensive logistics nightmare.
tokenidiot Saturday Sep 20 09:08 PMLack of bugle players. US unemployment getting worse.
Time to recruit!
chrisinhouston Saturday Sep 20 11:30 PMHere is a way they could solve the problem to some extent. Get the word out to local Boy Scout Troops. Many Troops still have Bugler as a position of responsibility. Have them provide a bugler as a voluntary service to the veterans. Won't completely solve the problem but it could help.
99 44/100% pure Monday Sep 22 08:33 AMDarn! I thought this thread was "Digital BULGE" -- 'bout time we got some juicy pix up for the ladies!
Elspode Monday Sep 22 09:01 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by tokenidiot
Lack of bugle players. US unemployment getting worse.
Time to recruit!
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I like this. I'm an unemployed musician. I can't play bugle, but would be willing to learn.
wolf Monday Sep 22 11:10 AMEl, my dear, longhaired, pagan friend ...
I suspect you are not one of the "few good men" that they are looking for ...
CharlieG Monday Sep 22 11:53 AMThe problem with "Boy Scouts" or "Others" (which would work) is that it's supposed to be a MILITARY bugler. Hey, want the job, no problem. There's usually a place down on Main St in most towns where the man in the nice uniform would be willing to talk to you if your of the right age. Just think, you get to know who your employer will be for the next 4 or so years
LUVBUGZ Monday Sep 22 01:09 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by 99 44/100% pure
Darn! I thought this thread was "Digital BULGE" -- 'bout time we got some juicy pix up for the ladies!
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I'm with 99 on this one. How can we get some goodies posted for our (female) visual pleasure? I know I'm leaving myself wide open for a Bruce comment here, but maybe it will stimulate some interest:p
wolf Monday Sep 22 02:04 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by LUVBUGZ
I'm with 99 on this one. How can we get some goodies posted for our (female) visual pleasure? I know I'm leaving myself wide open for a Bruce comment here, but maybe it will stimulate some interest:p
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You better be watchin' comments like that, particularly in so close juxtaposition to something regarding The Boy Scouts.

Elspode Monday Sep 22 02:49 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by wolf
El, my dear, longhaired, pagan friend ...
I suspect you are not one of the "few good men" that they are looking for ...
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D'ya think? Oh well, hanging out at funerals is kind of depressing, anyway.
wolf Monday Sep 22 03:04 PMI'd say it would depend on the funeral.
I've wanted to try out a New Orleans Style Jazz Funeral. They look like a good time.
And I've been to Native American crossing ceremonies, as well as Wiccan ones that don't leave me depressed and irritable in the same way a Catholic High Mass funerary service does.
xoxoxoBruce Monday Sep 22 06:36 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by LUVBUGZ
I'm with 99 on this one. How can we get some goodies posted for our (female) visual pleasure? I know I'm leaving myself wide open for a Bruce comment here, but maybe it will stimulate some interest:p
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I wouldn't touch that with a 10 inch pole.
xoxoxoBruce Monday Sep 22 06:38 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by wolf
I'd say it would depend on the funeral.
I've wanted to try out a New Orleans Style Jazz Funeral. They look like a good time.
And I've been to Native American crossing ceremonies, as well as Wiccan ones that don't leave me depressed and irritable in the same way a Catholic High Mass funerary service does.
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I find that anything Catholic makes me depressed and irritable.
daniwong Monday Sep 22 07:28 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by wolf
I'd say it would depend on the funeral.
I've wanted to try out a New Orleans Style Jazz Funeral. They look like a good time.
And I've been to Native American crossing ceremonies, as well as Wiccan ones that don't leave me depressed and irritable in the same way a Catholic High Mass funerary service does.
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My grandfather just died and they didn't have a bugler to send to the funeral so the funeral home just played a recording of taps. I have to agree - it was kinda cheesy. But - a digital bugle?? Thats even more cheesy.
OnyxCougar Monday Sep 22 07:34 PMMy dad made me promise to hire a dixieland band at his funeral.
And he's from England.
xoxoxoBruce Monday Sep 22 09:02 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by daniwong
My grandfather just died and they didn't have a bugler to send to the funeral so the funeral home just played a recording of taps. I have to agree - it was kinda cheesy. But - a digital bugle?? Thats even more cheesy.
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From the picture I'd say most people wouldn't know.
Dagney Monday Sep 22 09:15 PMI'd think that perhaps you'd be able to tell a difference in the sound.
Each bugler plays a bit differently from what I understand.
xoxoxoBruce Tuesday Sep 23 05:34 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Dagney
I'd think that perhaps you'd be able to tell a difference in the sound.
Each bugler plays a bit differently from what I understand.
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I think your right, there. That's why I don't think most people would tell the difference. You really don't have anything to reference because everytime you hear it, the sound will be a little different depending on the horn, the lip, the terrain, the weight of the jockey...I'm rambling, aren't I.
OnyxCougar Tuesday Sep 23 08:58 AMI've always preferred "Amazing Grace" played by Bagpipes.
wolf Tuesday Sep 23 11:09 AMI can't make it through that without bursting into tears.
juju Tuesday Sep 23 12:39 PMPersonally, I find the lyrics to that song to be very offensive. I won't call myself a wretch, and I think any ideology that encouages such thinking is potentially quite dangerous. It's like, the complete opposite of the philosophy I described in the Lovebugz thread.
Of course, I'm not dissing anyone that likes the song (that'd be everyone). It's just my opinion regarding my interpretation of the message.
wolf Tuesday Sep 23 01:37 PMI didn't say that I liked it, just that it makes me cry.
(Those who know me understand that "things that make me cry" is a pretty short list. "Things that make me reload" is a pretty long list.)
dar512 Tuesday Sep 23 03:05 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
From the picture I'd say most people wouldn't know.
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Going by the picture that thing, at best, has a 2 1/2" speaker. I haven't heard one of these things, but I recognize a cheesy small speaker when I hear one.
dar512 Tuesday Sep 23 03:06 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by wolf
I can't make it through that without bursting into tears.
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Bagpipes have that effect on a lot of people
Just kidding. I like AG on bagpipes myself.
dar512 Tuesday Sep 23 03:19 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by juju
Personally, I find the lyrics to that song to be very offensive. I won't call myself a wretch, and I think any ideology that encouages such thinking is potentially quite dangerous.
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You're using the wrong definition of wretch. The primary definition according to Webster is "1 : a miserable person : one who is profoundly unhappy or in great misfortune"
See John Newton's story here
Also while I like "Amazing Grace", my favorite hymn is of a different sort. See "It is Well with my Soul"
juju Tuesday Sep 23 03:38 PMThat <i>is</i> the definition I'm using. Interesting link, anyway. I never knew the song's origins!
This quote from the link describes the problem I have with the song:<i><blockquote>For the rest of his life he observed the anniversary of May 10, 1748 as the day of his conversion, a day of humiliation in which he subjected his will to a higher power.</blockquote></i>I just think that's terrible. And I think being humble is a pretty important quality in a person.
darclauz Tuesday Sep 23 03:49 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by juju
Personally, I find the lyrics to that song to be very offensive. I won't call myself a wretch, and I think any ideology that encouages such thinking is potentially quite dangerous. It's like, the complete opposite of the philosophy I described in the Lovebugz thread.
Of course, I'm not dissing anyone that likes the song (that'd be everyone). It's just my opinion regarding my interpretation of the message.
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sigh.
bagpipes play the music, they don't recite the lyrics.
darclauz Tuesday Sep 23 03:50 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by wolf
(Those who know me understand that "things that make me cry" is a pretty short list. "Things that make me reload" is a pretty long list.)
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Still LMAO......
dave Tuesday Sep 23 03:52 PMhttp://www.snopes.com/religion/amazing.htm for more info.
juju Tuesday Sep 23 04:00 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by darclauz
bagpipes play the music, they don't recite the lyrics.
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I know. I just figured my view was rare and crazy enough that it might be interesting on it's own. 
darclauz Tuesday Sep 23 04:08 PMOn a partially unrelated thought, I decided some years ago that when I died, I wanted to be posed rather than placed in a box, and would like "Prop me up beside the jukebox when I die" played, in lieu of any really meaningful stuff.
It's important to get last licks when you can.
My brother also suggested a push button that would activate a remote control system which would point my arm to a random person and in my voice, cry, "You Killed Me!"
xoxoxoBruce Tuesday Sep 23 06:54 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by dar512
Going by the picture that thing, at best, has a 2 1/2" speaker. I haven't heard one of these things, but I recognize a cheesy small speaker when I hear one.
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Ah, but that little speaker is as big as the sound in a normal bugle at that point. The horn takes over after that. Mr Bose made a fortune with that concept.
xoxoxoBruce Tuesday Sep 23 07:06 PMFrom the link on Newton's story;
Quote:
He continued in the slave trade for a time after his conversion; however, he saw to it that the slaves under his care were treated humanely.
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WTF!
dar512 Wednesday Sep 24 09:59 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Ah, but that little speaker is as big as the sound in a normal bugle at that point. The horn takes over after that. Mr Bose made a fortune with that concept.
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Mmmm. Could be. But my experience with Bose speakers is that they sound really weak without a subwoofer to back them up.
dave Wednesday Sep 24 10:05 AMBruce -
That is how Christians try to justify other Christians' behavior. "He raped and killed that little girl, but he used lube and the killing was as humane as possible." Ridiculous, isn't it?
SteveDallas Wednesday Sep 24 11:00 AMbeefcake
Quote:
Originally posted by LUVBUGZ
I'm with 99 on this one. How can we get some goodies posted for our (female) visual pleasure? I know I'm leaving myself wide open for a Bruce comment here, but maybe it will stimulate some interest:p
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Nobody's stopping anybody... post some yourself! 
juju Wednesday Sep 24 11:16 AMI don't know what they're complaining about. They've got Nothing But Net.
Uryoces Wednesday Sep 24 03:44 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by juju
I know. I just figured my view was rare and crazy enough that it might be interesting on it's own.
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I get this mental image of a Quake 3 game, suddenly amazing grace bounces off a few walls, and then a bagpipe appears, skittering over the ground like a tarantuala.
Blam! Blam! *Bloot!* *Bleep!*
Yeah, "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes makes me misty. So does Louis Armstrong singing "What a Wonderful World."
99 44/100% pure Wednesday Sep 24 03:50 PMRe: beefcake
Quote:
Originally posted by SteveDallas
Nobody's stopping anybody... post some yourself!
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If I had 'em to post, I wouldn't be looking for them here. I was just kidding, BTW. I have all that I can stand to look at right at home! 
Uryoces Wednesday Sep 24 03:55 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by dave
Bruce -
That is how Christians try to justify other Christians' behavior. "He raped and killed that little girl, but he used lube and the killing was as humane as possible." Ridiculous, isn't it?
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No, slave trading is bad. Your icky description is bad as well. There are a lot of people I'm not going to defend simply because they've ignored general rules of human decency.
Pedophillic priests need to be prosecuted and punished. End of story.
xoxoxoBruce Wednesday Sep 24 06:07 PMBack home the small town Memorial parade had the usual accoutrements of old vets trying to squeeze into old uniforms, decorated firetrucks, scouts from Eagle to Brownies, convertibles, horses and politicians.
One annual feature was the Highlanders bagpipe and drum corp from Melha Shrine Temple in Springfield, MA. About 10 drummers and 20 pipers in full Scottish regalia and really quite impressive although they usually freaked the horses.
The Shriners in town would throw a barbecue, after the parade and ceremony at the town cannon, for the band. It was usually at my Dad's house because he had a big yard, pool, room for lots of parking (including the Shriners bus) and a 34x24 carport in case the weather went to hell as it's wont to do on Memorial Day. He also had tone deaf neighbors.
They'd drink and eat and drink and play bocce and drink and laugh and drink. At least once every hour anywhere from 3 to 20 pipers would decide it was time to play Amazing Grace. Early in the day this would be very somber and call for another round of drinks to toast the departed. Well let me tell you, after about 10 hours it got down right maudlin.
xoxoxoBruce Wednesday Sep 24 06:12 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by dar512
Mmmm. Could be. But my experience with Bose speakers is that they sound really weak without a subwoofer to back them up.
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That's because you've never heard me crank up my 4 Bose 901s. Besides that I don't think a subwoofer is bugle territory, but I could be off "base".
xoxoxoBruce Wednesday Sep 24 06:15 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by dave
Bruce -
That is how Christians try to justify other Christians' behavior. "He raped and killed that little girl, but he used lube and the killing was as humane as possible." Ridiculous, isn't it?
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Rediculous isn't the word I was thinking of.
Your reply here?
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