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   Undertoad  Monday Jun 7 11:38 AM

6/7/2004: Ham art



This is artist Cosimo Cavallaro, explaining his work -- a bed with more than 300 pounds of sliced ham -- at a gallery in New York.

Cavallaro calls the ham "a pure form of America: all kinds of parts, boiled and pressed together." He rejected prosciutto because "it would have been pompous."

And expensive. What's cheap deli ham, like, $2.99/pound?



Rue Pascal  Monday Jun 7 11:57 AM

If you look to the left of the "artist", out the window, it look like it is written "u are mad"... :p



jaguar  Monday Jun 7 11:59 AM

bet they're going to be lining up to see that in a week.



jojomonkeygirl  Monday Jun 7 12:23 PM

I've had more meat than that in my bed before



glatt  Monday Jun 7 12:25 PM

Would any one of you pay money for this bozo's art?



jinx  Monday Jun 7 12:29 PM

No way.... too high in nitrates.



SteveDallas  Monday Jun 7 12:36 PM

I just can't think about anything except the spoilage factor!



CharlieG  Monday Jun 7 12:42 PM

What an idiot - Ham is _NOT_ "all kinds of parts, boiled and pressed together" - ham is from the - gosh- HAM of the pig

Spam, Lunch loaf, etc ARE all sorts of "stuff" stuck together

Heck, you can even get fresh ham - aka, uncured - YUM

I wonder if I should go down and heckle this idiot



perth  Monday Jun 7 12:43 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by CharlieG
I wonder if I should go down and heckle this idiot
Be sure to get pictures!


jaguar  Monday Jun 7 12:49 PM

Quote:
What an idiot - Ham is _NOT_ "all kinds of parts, boiled and pressed together" - ham is from the - gosh- HAM of the pig
Missed that, you're right, usually I give modern art a bit of breathing space but this guy is just pretty damn stupid


hot_pastrami  Monday Jun 7 12:52 PM

Hey, at least it's Atkins-friendly.

*cough*



glatt  Monday Jun 7 12:53 PM

Re: 6/7/2004: Ham art

Well, Undetoad is the one who called it "ham." The artist may have been using the cheap ham loaf stuff which is sold as "ham" in many delis (my local Safeway included) and consists of "all kinds of parts, boiled and pressed together."



chrisinhouston  Monday Jun 7 01:41 PM

see the website

With a name like Cosimo Cavallaro he should have been using imported prosciutto! And what is a mere $2.99/ lb if the NEA was funding it?

Be sure to check out his website at http://www.cosimocavallaro.com/ and click on the "download the Wyoming Cheese house flash presentation". Also the one on the burning piano is interesting.



warch  Monday Jun 7 02:08 PM

Everyone knows Pastrami is the most sensuous of the smoked meats.



Elspode  Monday Jun 7 02:09 PM

Pork...the other art meat...



xoxoxoBruce  Monday Jun 7 02:13 PM

Well, I do like his "kidde-ride".



melidasaur  Monday Jun 7 03:17 PM

Definitely Atkins-friendly, but not Kosher!



jdbutler  Monday Jun 7 03:22 PM

And that's only the remnants of his foreskin!



hot_pastrami  Monday Jun 7 03:58 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by warch
Everyone knows Pastrami is the most sensuous of the smoked meats.
...and a bed full of of Pastrami is definitely a work of art.


lumberjim  Monday Jun 7 04:30 PM

i keep trying to say something funny about that, HP, but......this new program you "recomended" doesn't seem to want to let me say anyhing rude about you. how's it do that?

lemme try again:
asdhfaisonc
asdljmce jwqpjv;mao--9
[0kwokf049m w


see?

that was supposed to say :
asdhfaisonc
asdljmce jwqpjv;mao--9
[0kwokf049m w

shit!

let me try sarcasm.....

...and a bed full of of Pastrami is definitely a work of art.

ok, guess i'll just be subtle.



hot_pastrami  Monday Jun 7 04:58 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by lumberjim
i keep trying to say something funny about that, HP, but......this new program you "recomended" doesn't seem to want to let me say anyhing rude about you.
It's a tradeoff. I mean really... what's more important: saying rude things about me, or getting your apostrophes where they belong? Priorities, man.


Guess  Monday Jun 7 08:46 PM

wow what a waste of meat! there are starving people in China who could live off that meat for months! and the poor bedsheets...



melidasaur  Monday Jun 7 09:06 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Guess
wow what a waste of meat! there are starving people in China who could live off that meat for months! and the poor bedsheets...
Yeah, if those were nice sheets - what a waste!


poohbearbeth  Monday Jun 7 09:16 PM

Rabbi Ham

Looks like a Rabbi, blessing the unkosher corned beef



chrisinhouston  Saturday Mar 31 07:47 AM

He's back in the news!


Chocolate Jesus exhibit cancelled
A New York art gallery has decided to cancel an exhibit of a chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ after protests by a US Catholic group.
The six-foot (1.8m) sculpture, entitled "My Sweet Lord", depicts a naked Jesus Christ with his arms outspread.

The sculpture, by artist Cosimo Cavallaro, was to have been displayed from Monday at Manhattan's Lab Gallery.

The timing, over Easter Holy Week - the most important part of the Christian year - provoked an outcry.

The Roger Smith Hotel housing the Lab gallery decided to cancel the exhibition after the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights called for a boycott.

'Strong-arming'

"We're delighted with the outcome," said Kiera McCaffrey, spokeswoman for the League.

Ms McCaffrey had called the exhibit "an assault on Christians".

"They would never dare do something similar with a chocolate statue of the Prophet Mohammed naked with his genitals exposed during Ramadan."

The Lab gallery's artistic director, Matt Semler, has offered his resignation, saying the decision to cancel the exhibition was a result of "strong-arming from people who haven't seen the show, seen what we're doing.

"They jumped to conclusions completely contrary to our intentions," he said.

Mr Semler said the timing of the exhibition - when Christians mark the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ - was coincidental.

Canadian-born Mr Cavallaro is known for using food ingredients in his art, on one occasion painting a hotel room in mozzarella cheese.

He used 200 pounds (90 kg) of chocolate to make the sculpture which, unusually, depicts Jesus without a loincloth. It showed him suspended in air with his arms spread wide, as if crucified.



Sheldonrs  Saturday Mar 31 10:48 AM

I don't get it. When you go to church they make you eat the body of Christ and drink his blood. Why can't they let it taste good once in a while?



elSicomoro  Saturday Mar 31 11:15 AM

That makes me wonder...when Catholics eat the body of Christ, what part are they eating? I went through all that for years, and I don't like organ meats.

Oh fuck...I just gave Shel way too much ammo there...



Sheldonrs  Saturday Mar 31 01:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sycamore View Post
That makes me wonder...when Catholics eat the body of Christ, what part are they eating? I went through all that for years, and I don't like organ meats.

Oh fuck...I just gave Shel way too much ammo there...
Ammo? I guess I can shoot now.


elSicomoro  Saturday Mar 31 01:09 PM

Damnit...another ham-fisted thread.



chrisinhouston  Saturday Mar 31 03:12 PM

Here is a better image of his sculpture from his website



Kagen4o4  Saturday Mar 31 10:42 PM

how the fuck do people like that make a living.

it makes me sick



WabUfvot5  Saturday Mar 31 11:06 PM

They only make a living because of the controversy. So quick, do something strange and controversial that can be considered art



elSicomoro  Sunday Apr 1 12:48 AM

I submit this.



xoxoxoBruce  Sunday Apr 1 01:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jebediah View Post
They only make a living because of the controversy. So quick, do something strange and controversial that can be considered art
Quote:
Mr Semler said the timing of the exhibition - when Christians mark the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ - was coincidental.
Who the fuck do these lying cocksuckers think they're kidding.


Sundae  Monday Apr 2 05:30 AM

I think it's rather beautiful and not disrespectful at all.

Now if it was a chocolate Jesus being fellated by a Peeps Centurion while on a ham cross - yup, I'd back anyone's right to call for the show to be closed.

What is it with Americans and nudity? Or is it Christians and nudity? Surely if you believe in God you should have some respect for the beauty of his creation?



xoxoxoBruce  Monday Apr 2 04:00 PM

Not nudity alone. Piss poor art, timed and fully intended annoy and create controversy. They got their wish, just didn't profit from it..... at least directly.



kerosene  Tuesday Apr 10 09:40 PM

I wonder if he used cheap chocolate or good kind?

This kind of reminds me of that Robinson Crusoe movie with English dubbing ... "eat jesus like tribe of mine"



bluecuracao  Tuesday Apr 10 09:56 PM

It's a cool sculpture--too bad the show was cancelled. I don't blame the gallery director for being so pissed off.



Sundae  Monday Apr 16 11:31 AM

I still don't really understand it. Can I offer the following amendments to see if it would still cause offense?

- Still made of chocolate but with the usual loincloth
- The same nude figure but carved from wood
- Still nude and still chocolate but without the punning name

I don't think it's poor art, I think it's very well done.

I'm not trying to be PC or liberal, I honestly don't see how this can be offensive.



Hime  Monday Apr 16 11:51 AM

Apparently the chocolate Jesus was supposed to be a critique about the commercialization of Easter -- that for most Americans it's more about eating chocolate eggs/bunnies than about the actual events that the holiday commemorates.

So basically a Christian message. I have no idea why it offends people, except that some people seem to get very upset at being asked to think about things.



adayofliberation  Monday May 14 03:35 PM

stanky



xoxoxoBruce  Monday May 14 04:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hime View Post
Apparently the chocolate Jesus was supposed to be a critique about the commercialization of Easter -- that for most Americans it's more about eating chocolate eggs/bunnies than about the actual events that the holiday commemorates.
Evidently not.
Quote:
Mr Semler said the timing of the exhibition - when Christians mark the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ - was coincidental.
Welcome to the Cellar, adayofliberation.


PillowLover  Sunday Nov 11 03:38 AM

Looking at this work of art as compared to another of his works of art, I can say the use of ham (meat) is much tamer than coating the bed with cheddar cheese or maybe even melted chocolate.

Of course, Cosimo Cavallaro could have really made an artistic statement by pilling all that ham on the bed AND also coating the bed with cheese. I would have put some melted cheese all over the pillows and the mattress, then added a layer of ham, another layer of cheese, another layer of ham, another layer of cheese, more ham and a final layer of cheese.

Another way Cosimo Cavallaro could have improved this bed, would be for him to take a copy of that "Chocolate Christ", laid it down on the bed, poured more chocolate over it, and then put the whole assembly into an auto paint drying oven for several hours to melt as much chocolate into the bed (pillows and sheets) as possible.



PillowLover  Sunday Nov 11 04:09 AM

I think another way Cosimo Cavallaro could have done this artistic treatment of the ham-bed thing, would be to have him set up the bed (with feather pillows and a down comforter) in the middle of an open field, then add his sliced ham to stack it all over the bed. When he had all that ham added, then set the bed on fire as he did with the burning piano. He could have then called the performance "Toasted Ham Bed."

If he had also poured melted cheese over the bed along with the ham, then it would be "Toasted Ham and Cheese Bed Dinner."



DanaC  Sunday Nov 11 08:47 AM

Well hello PillowLover....you seem to have given this an awful lot of thought :P

Welcome to the Cellar....it is what it is.



PillowLover  Sunday Nov 11 05:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC View Post
Well hello PillowLover....you seem to have given this an awful lot of thought :P

Welcome to the Cellar....it is what it is.

I guess I love to take some of the ideas of the artist who has already set up the "Ham Bed" and combine the media and treatments in ways the artist has not conceived of. That is why, I suggest the combination of the ham slices, with cheese ("Cheese House" & "Cheese Room"). And since I love to see bedding and pillows messed up ("Pillows") I have suggested combining the three methods.

The natural outcome of those combinations would be the bed with several layers of feather-down pillows that have been arranged in rows where the pillows are stood on edge. I would recommend at least three rows of Feather-down pillows with two feather-down pillows in each row. The bed would be more complete if one or two down comforters were spread on the bed and folded back just short of touching the pillows.

At this point, I would pour a layer of melted cheese (or possibly start with chocolate syrup) all over the bed where it would coat the feather-down pillows and down comforters. Probably only an eighth of an inch of cheese (or chocolate syrup) covering the bed, feather-down pillows and down comforters.

Next I would love to see a layer of some other food, like thin sliced pepperoni or other sausage. The final layer of food could be melted cheddar cheese (or chocolate syrup) spread thinly all over the bed.

At this point, the bed could be left outdoors for a couple of months to make sure all the cheese and chocolate syrup have saturated the feather-down pillows and down comforters on the bed.

Finally, as per Burning Piano, the bed that has been coated with several layers of foods could now be set on fire and many pictures from many different distances, angles and elevations would be taken, (Maybe even have a video made) that would show the consumption of the bed and all those foods by the fire.

Since there is a possibility that the bed and bedding may have become wet with rain during the period the bed is left outside, a flammable substance such as gasoline or alcohol may need to be liberally poured on the bed to promote the burning of the mattress, feather-down pillows, down comforters and all the food substances that have been put on the bed.

I would recommend a gallon of flammable liquid be poured in the space between each of the rows of feather-down pillows and two or three more gallons of flammable liquid poured between the mattress and the down comforters on the bed.

****************************************************

Another method would be to not use the various food substances mentioned above, but instead, set up the bed in an open arena. The bed would consist of a mattress on the bed frame. Be sure to photograph the process of setting up the bed so everybody will know what materials were used to make the bed. Again, I would arrange three or four rows of feather-down pillows stood on end (two feather-down pillows in each row. Next, two or maybe even four down comforters could be arranged on the bed with the down comforters folded where they just touch the feather-down pillows.

Now that the bed has been set up with all the feather-down pillows and whatever number of down comforters we decide to use, I would recommend the use of a shotgun or a semi-automatic rifle to shoot a lot of holes in the feather-down pillows and the down comforters. Keep shooting at those feather-down pillows and the down comforters until clumps of feathers come out of the feather-down pillows and the down comforters.

IF necessary, a flammable substance could be poured between the rows of feather-down pillows and underneath the down comforters on the bed. A whole series of web cameras could be set up around the bed, and then the bed set afire. I would love to see the progress of the fire as the fire consumes the down comforters, the feather-down pillows and the mattress and bed frame.


Crimson Ghost  Sunday Nov 11 05:21 PM

After reading that, I think PillowLover shall fit in here just fine.

Welcome.



ViennaWaits  Sunday Nov 11 07:32 PM

I'm disturbed by the amount of time that must've taken.



ZenGum  Monday Nov 12 10:45 AM

Methinks PillowLover should either get a grant or prepare to meet Wolf.
Maybe both.



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