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   Undertoad  Monday Nov 22 12:56 PM

11/22/2004: Annual swan roundup



So you thought the beatiful swans on your favorite waterway just magically appeared there as if it was, as Douglas Adams might have put it, "artistically correct"? Not in the case of the swans found in Hamburg, Germany, where it's this guy's job to round them up in the fall so they can be housed, fed, and cared for until the spring.



jaguar  Monday Nov 22 01:09 PM

What a crap job, swans as viscious bastards.



garnet  Monday Nov 22 01:14 PM

Those are some big ass birds. It's nice they're looking after them for the winter.



melidasaur  Monday Nov 22 01:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jaguar
What a crap job, swans as viscious bastards.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way about swans... their beauty is deceiving... they are just waiting for the right time to gouge you in the throat.


glatt  Monday Nov 22 02:19 PM

Swans are mean.



mhartzel  Monday Nov 22 02:44 PM

Is the same team that rounds up America's ugliest people for that new "Reality" show of the same name?



Elspode  Monday Nov 22 03:18 PM

Man...talk about a low-tech job. So this guy just reaches into the canal, grabs the bird, and ties its wings down with baling twine?



Leah  Monday Nov 22 03:55 PM

That's nice that the swans are cared for during winter. Lucky for them to be housed and fed while other birds and wildlife are freezing their behinds off during winter. Mind you, all the swans in the boats look quite relaxed and probably are quite used to this happening.



melidasaur  Monday Nov 22 03:57 PM

These swans are pampered whores.



Leah  Monday Nov 22 04:01 PM

Yep, well that's another way of looking at it.



jaguar  Monday Nov 22 06:06 PM

Quote:
Man...talk about a low-tech job. So this guy just reaches into the canal, grabs the bird, and ties its wings down with baling twine?
What do you suggest?


Griff  Monday Nov 22 06:11 PM

Tazer



xoxoxoBruce  Monday Nov 22 08:32 PM

I'm surprised he doesn't at least have a face shield on.



capnhowdy  Monday Nov 22 10:42 PM

Swan: One of the other white meats.



Roosta  Tuesday Nov 23 08:06 AM

I think they would be best "En Croute" drizzled with balsamic something or other.



Cyber Wolf  Tuesday Nov 23 11:14 AM

I suppose it's easier to take care of a few boat loads of actual swans than a few boatloads of enchanted ballerinas whose forms switch between human and avian during a specified diurnal cycle.

And then again...



Elspode  Tuesday Nov 23 11:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jaguar
What do you suggest?
I don't know exactly...I'm no avian capture specialist. It just seems to me to be a bit rudimentary. Maybe a big net or something? Ziplok bags with a headhole?

Presumably, my lack of a better idea is contributory to the fact that I am delivering pizzas as a second job instead of rounding up birds.


wolf  Tuesday Nov 23 02:33 PM

The swan roundup comes but once a year. It's like Marichiko and the phone books. Once you run out of swans, you run out of work.

Pizzas are steadier income.

But when the weather gets bad, you might want to consider a more "indoor" part time job. Although I genuinely feel for our most frequent delivery guy at the hospital, and tip extra in really bad weather, I know that most people don't do that. He tells us. (usually in appreciation of a $5 tip on a $10 order. Yes, we are softies.)



Wombat  Tuesday Nov 23 05:19 PM

Not only are they mean, they're also surprisingly strong. One swipe from a swan wing can break your leg. As for eating them: in Britain you have to get the Queen's permission first, because they all belong to her (with the exception of a few swans located on one stretch of the Thames, which belong to the Dyers and the Vintners Companies).



footfootfoot  Tuesday Nov 23 07:44 PM

I wanna be a swanboy,
and you can be my swangirl,
Looking like a hero,
Six-gun at my side,
Chewing my tobacco.
Out on the horizon,
I see a puff of smoke.
Indians on the warpath,
etc.



capnhowdy  Tuesday Nov 23 08:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wombat
Not only are they mean, they're also surprisingly strong. One swipe from a swan wing can break your leg. As for eating them: in Britain you have to get the Queen's permission first, because they all belong to her (with the exception of a few swans located on one stretch of the Thames, which belong to the Dyers and the Vintners Companies).

Hmmm....
wing + leg = fracture.
Ever wonder why they are so mean? Because they are so beautiful. The prettiest girls are always the meanest bitches.(local observation).
I find it very interesting how the Queen can just "claim" all the swans in the country. What'd she do? Have a whim? OK............. "let me see now.......I really need to own every swan in the country. I'll call Tony & have him arrange it! Anybody wants a swan around here goes through me, mind you!"
Does she own all the swans in other countries, or maybe just a controlling intrest? Intriguing, to say the least.
British Terrorism: Swan abuse. heehee..................


lumberjim  Tuesday Nov 23 08:04 PM

'Ride a white swan like the people of the Beltane
Wear your hair long, babe you can't go wrong'

-T Rex.

thank you



Brown Thrasher  Tuesday Nov 23 09:03 PM

Look a swan in the eyes, and you'll find it hard to decide if it's an innocent bird your admiring or Hannible Lector in disguise...... Sorry, I said I was finished with the term innocent.... I"ve never seen such evil in a persons eyes. However, this is probably justr my warped perception. Try it, and decide for yourself.



Griff  Tuesday Nov 23 09:11 PM

Them crazy, them crazy
We gonna chase those crazy
White swans out of town
Chase those crazy white swans
Out of town

I and I build a cabin
I and I plant the corn
Didn't my people before me
Slave for this country
Now you look me with a scorn
Then you eat up all my corn

We gonna chase those crazy white swanns
Chase them crazy
Chase those crazy white swans out of town



footfootfoot  Tuesday Nov 23 10:35 PM

Griff Knows.

So does Paula Cole:
Where is my Roger Tory Peterson*
Where is my canal song*
Where is my happy ending*
Where have all the swanboys gone?
Yippee aye Yippee yea

BTW,
I asked the Queen and she said the swans taste like a cross between a spotted owl and a California condor. But not like chicken!



wolf  Wednesday Nov 24 02:38 AM

What with all the songs going about, I keep thinking of Loreena McKennit's Bonny Swan, you know the one where that girl kills her sister by throwing her in the river, and then she turns into a swan and then a harp that sings the tale of her murder at the wedding of her sister to her boyfriend? It makes more sense when you listen to it.



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