7/6/2005: Baby treatment

xoB sends along this WaPo item which I would call "vaguely disturbing". The official cap says Newborns listen to classical music as part of an experimental therapy treatment to help infants adapt to life after birth, in a materity ward in Kosice, eastern Slovakia.

I was gonna suggest that it would be interesting to play one group Brahms, one group Beethoven, one group Bach and one group Wagner, and see what happens. But then I thought maybe the whole idea is a little too weird already and doesn't need further weirdness enhancement.

Isn't there a scene in Brave New World like this?

If they are all listening to the same classical music, why do they need headphones? Seems like more trouble than it's worth.

Silly ... you can't have passers-by hearing the *actual* programming ... I am an alpha. I love being an alpha. I will make the lives of gammas a living hell every chance I get. I love Microsoft.

Wagner for babies....they'd be wanting their first gun at age 3. I approve.

The first thought I had was that someone needs to photoshop little tiny 9 mils into their cute pudgy little hands.....

All uniformly tied down in the bottom right corner so they don't strangle on cords I guess.
How long before the skull hardens into that squished shape?
There's so many things wrong with this picture I can't even begin....

The epsilons listen to Britney Spears and Celine Dion.

But they look so sweet, and all are quiet.

Neo. Neo. Neo. follow the white rabbit.

They are listening to the Bureaux of Propaganda by Synthetic Voice.

And that first one looks Pneumatic. And how.

Xenu is watching.............you must be audited........report for OT3...........

Maybe spending some time with their mommies instead of in the nursery all alone with a HUGE pair of headphones wuold do 'em some good. Sheesh. They make blood pressure cuffs for preemies, you think they could come up with some smaller 'phones.

Here's an interesting statistic... Headphones make your ear canals warmer, darker, and moister. After one hour wearing headphones, the bacteria in your ears has multiplied 600 times.

Now, granted, that's still not terribly much by the standards of the human body, and it's all in the outer ear, not inside the eardrum where normal ear infections occur... but it sure as hell ain't good for their ears.

They all seem to be in sync like they were choreographed. The one on the far left looks like a waterhead to me.
I guess when they learn to talk they will ask them how they liked the music.
I'm sure they will prefer the X Box.....

Seems like it would be more appropriate for them to listen to the compositions of Bela Bartok!

<whisper>
Good Morning, children.

We will now begin our morning session. Ready? And, go!

"All your base your base, base, base, all your base, are belong to us"
</whisper>

for your next selection,

"I will will will find my frog frog frog"

Jolly good. Lets get some good capitalist fervor going, shall we?

I prefer the term "Petite bourgeoisie".

cool song - "...The Queen of the Ry-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yche!!!!"

I don't get what the big deal is. I listen to music *now* to help me adapt to life after birth. Not immediately after birth, but still...

All I can say is that the picture would make a great album cover.

You know, back when they made album covers.