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   Undertoad  Tuesday Jul 26 08:28 PM

7/26/2005: Ancient carved wang found



Via Fark; the BBC reports this unit, discovered in a German cave, as one of the oldest pricks ever: The 20cm-long, 3cm-wide stone object is dated to be about 28,000 years old.

Of course the archaeologists have to wonder whether it was used as a sex aid. But they quickly point out that it was also used for "knapping flints". And if you've ever had your flint knapped, you know how painful that can be, as Mr. Letterman used to say.




xoxoxoBruce  Tuesday Jul 26 09:18 PM

Poppycock. It could be a mortar, rolling pin, darning form or a million other uses. I think these clowns are calling it a prehistoric Kegel to drum up publicity (and support) for their dig. Must be museum sweeps week.



melidasaur  Tuesday Jul 26 10:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce
Poppycock. It could be a mortar, rolling pin, darning form or a million other uses. I think these clowns are calling it a prehistoric Kegel to drum up publicity (and support) for their dig. Must be museum sweeps week.
oh dear...


lookout123  Tuesday Jul 26 10:55 PM

HA! i saw that earlier and almost forwarded it on to you but figured you'd already seen. i was right.



footfootfoot  Tuesday Jul 26 11:05 PM

7/26/2005: Ancient carved wang found

I hadn't realized I'd lost it...



richlevy  Wednesday Jul 27 12:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad
Via Fark; the BBC reports this unit, discovered in a German cave, as one of the oldest pricks ever:
Sure, now that Strom Thurmond's dead.


Trilby  Wednesday Jul 27 08:37 AM

I'm just not going to comment on a big stone prick. I'm just not. I would, however, like to put in a request for another whale-themed Iotd. Whatever you think would be good.



mrnoodle  Wednesday Jul 27 10:48 AM

I suppose it *could* be a rolling pin. But that doesn't explain the teeth marks. (they sure it wasn't found in Poland?)

[/lame]



Queen of the Ryche  Wednesday Jul 27 11:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrnoodle
I suppose it *could* be a rolling pin. But that doesn't explain the teeth marks. (they sure it wasn't found in Poland?)

[/lame]
you knew I would go back and look for them, didn't you? sigh.....


Bullitt  Wednesday Jul 27 12:18 PM

hey look, its a long tube-like stone with scraches around one end, let's call it a prehistoric penis! because that's obviously what it HAS to be..



Elspode  Wednesday Jul 27 01:39 PM

I have to agree with Bruce. If it was a ritual item, it would have included the gonads. If it was a, um, err...marital aid, it would have been more smoothly carved about the upper area.

No self respecting cavewoman would allow something that coarse *and* cold to be utilized in her conjugal pile of branches and leaves.



xoxoxoBruce  Wednesday Jul 27 01:48 PM

You ASSume it was used by a woman.



chrisinhouston  Wednesday Jul 27 02:33 PM

Hey they've got one on EBAY and it looks more realistic!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...Name=WDVW&rd=1




wolf  Wednesday Jul 27 03:00 PM

"Your Satisfaction is our biggest pleasure!"

:giggle:



Queen of the Ryche  Wednesday Jul 27 03:20 PM

it looks like a pickle.



capnhowdy  Wednesday Jul 27 04:15 PM

I'm with Bruce on this one. To call it a prick does take some imagination. Hell, it looks more like it could be part of a mortar/pestal rig, or a dozen other things for that matter.
You can't help but wonder tho if they DID want to make a sex toy 28000 years ago, what would they make it out of? Stone seemed to be their material of choice for about everything.



mrnoodle  Wednesday Jul 27 04:43 PM

Probably you two are right. It's frightening, though, to think that while our ancestors left nifty, innovative tools for us to ponder, future generations will be unearthing our double-ended dildos and old VHS tapes of pregnant midgets. I don't think we've really advanced too much, moon landings and nuclear power notwithstanding.



SteveDallas  Wednesday Jul 27 04:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrnoodle
Probably you two are right. It's frightening, though, to think that while our ancestors left nifty, innovative tools for us to ponder, future generations will be unearthing our double-ended dildos and old VHS tapes of pregnant midgets.
I can see the papers now ... "Aspects of 21st Century Rabbit Worship."


xoxoxoBruce  Wednesday Jul 27 05:44 PM

We have to make a rosetta stone showing the difference between rabbit and bunny.



capnhowdy  Wednesday Jul 27 07:58 PM

mmm.... I don't know...... Larry "FLINT" may need to get involved with this one...heehee..



richlevy  Wednesday Jul 27 10:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of the Ryche
it looks like a pickle.
I'll bet you say that to all the guys.


LCanal  Thursday Jul 28 12:10 AM

Let's say it's a tool (sic). Let's assume that tool making, as a learned skill was man's work, like modern day taking out the garbage or moving the lawn, or in Africa like herding cattle etc. What in God's name would posses prehistoric man to spend hours making an artificial penis? Why out of stone when wood would have been easier and more "user" friendly. There must have been gourds and tubers galore if they needed a replacement.
As a religious artifact maybe as they have in India but then why the scratch marks. I'm going with the interest and fund raising theory. Just think what latter day archeologists will make of a composite police night stick/baton/truncheon when they find one.



Elspode  Thursday Jul 28 12:25 AM

That is a rather specialized device, there. Meant for use by two, from appearances.



capnhowdy  Thursday Jul 28 05:45 PM

no good without batteries anyway.....



breakingnews  Thursday Jul 28 06:09 PM

Quote:
7/26/2005: Ancient carved wang found
I resent that my name is such a commonly used moniker for male genitalia.

I know there are others - Johnson, etc - but you don't ever hear those as often. I wonder when and why the connection was drawn.

Poop.


BigV  Thursday Jul 28 06:39 PM

I would refer you to Tex Avery cartoons, where the wolf sees a pretty girl wolf walk by and he *ahem* becomes erect in the way cartoons do, accompanied by the sound "WANNNNGGGG!" (add vibrato to taste)



Happy Monkey  Thursday Jul 28 06:46 PM

If you play Kingdom of Loathing, it's a commonly used item that does spellcheck for you in chat!



Undertoad  Thursday Jul 28 06:57 PM

Aw BN, don't think of it that way! Make it your honor to represent!



xoxoxoBruce  Thursday Jul 28 07:04 PM

Quote:
I know there are others - Johnson, etc - but you don't ever hear those as often. I wonder when and why the connection was drawn.
I have to disagree. It's the one I hear the least. Must be a NY thing.


LCanal  Thursday Jul 28 09:23 PM

On a recent visit to China I was so confused by the phone books there were so many Wing and so many Wangs that I would often Wing the Wang number.



xant  Sunday Jul 31 01:37 AM

Surely Dick is the most common...



And  Sunday Jul 31 01:57 AM

Did they smell it?



breakingnews  Monday Aug 1 12:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LCanal
On a recent visit to China I was so confused by the phone books there were so many Wing and so many Wangs that I would often Wing the Wang number.
<I>No you did not!</I>

Hahahaha. I did indeed laugh.

Wang is a western butchering of the actual chinese word, which is pronounced "Wong." Your joke would work better as such.


mitheral  Monday Aug 15 11:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy
I'm with Bruce on this one. To call it a prick does take some imagination. Hell, it looks more like it could be part of a mortar/pestal rig, or a dozen other things for that matter.
You can't help but wonder tho if they DID want to make a sex toy 28000 years ago, what would they make it out of? Stone seemed to be their material of choice for about everything.
It's not so much that they used stone for everything it's more that the stuff made out of stone/clay is durable where leather/wood/bone etc. isn't.


Kagen4o4  Tuesday Aug 16 12:05 AM

the stone would be cold, youd have to warm it up first.
(so ive heard :| )



dar512  Tuesday Aug 16 01:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mitheral
It's not so much that they used stone for everything it's more that the stuff made out of stone/clay is durable where leather/wood/bone etc. isn't.
I'll go along with the leather and wood, but this guy's bones have lasted quite a while.


wolf  Tuesday Aug 16 02:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dar512
I'll go along with the leather and wood, but this guy's bones have lasted quite a while.
I dunno. He was kinda frigid. Not much of a sexual plaything ...


dar512  Tuesday Aug 16 10:29 AM

He was a much warmer person a while ago. But people change, ya know?



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