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   Undertoad  Sunday Nov 20 01:46 PM

11/20/2005: Woman is your friend



This appeared a while ago, and I might have even posted it elsewhere. It's more of a "WTF" thread image than IotD, and I don't have any further information on it. Anyone else...? Anyway, there's a Sunday image for you.



Nothing But Net  Sunday Nov 20 02:13 PM

They may be oppressed, abused, &ct., but don't they have beautiful teeth!



xoxoxoBruce  Sunday Nov 20 03:27 PM

It was part of an antiabuse campaign in Monrovia, IIRC.



Troubleshooter  Sunday Nov 20 03:53 PM

Monrovia huh?

Certainly a model of former american culture.



Leah  Sunday Nov 20 04:36 PM

I've seen posters like this in Vanuatu. They are displayed in the police station there. Quite funny with the broken english "You Betta the wiffe you staya ina here", we had a little giggle.



capnhowdy  Sunday Nov 20 07:12 PM

beating her with the buckle end of the belt while she has one tit hanging out...is that considered abuse?
The toddler's about to grab him by the cahones anyway.



xoxoxoBruce  Sunday Nov 20 07:53 PM

Just noticed it say "A woman...", not A Wife...
Does that mean it's OK to beat your wife or is woman inclusive?



slang  Monday Nov 21 03:07 AM

The sign must mean if a woman is your friend and you have a child with her, it's improper to beat her ass with a belt and rip her clothes off*.

It doesn't say anything about a wife.

* - Unless of course, she's into that sort of thing.



Trilby  Monday Nov 21 10:27 AM

Kind of disturbing. Brings up all kinds of feelings--the most prominent one is the feeling that if some man hit me, it'd be the last time he'd hit me.



Beestie  Monday Nov 21 11:03 AM

The cultural tolerance of abusing women in some parts of the world is unbelievable. The "right" to abuse women exists at a very deep cultural level in some places and is not a function of attitudes as it is here in America.

So I think the remedy that works in America (an attitude adjustment) will not be effective in certain other places. IMHO, the "right" must be revoked at the cultural level before one can expect any change at the attitude level.

Ironically, the message in the sign almost does nothing to address either the attitude or the cultural tolerance/justification. Its not much different than telling a man to stop beating his dog but instead to take better care of it while offering no motivation for doing so. So sensitive to the feelings of the woman beater, it does not even go as far as saying that its wrong. Not a terribly effective campaign I don't think.



marichiko  Monday Nov 21 11:42 AM

Its very bizarre. What admonitions are they going to post next? "Your child is smaller than you! Beating on it is not fair!" or "Your husband is a person, too. Do not poison his food!" or "Nice people don't kick their dogs!" ?

What are we coming to when we have to put up signs admonishing people to behave as normal human toward one another?

And depicting the woman with breast bare?



Trilby  Monday Nov 21 12:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marichiko
And depicting the woman with breast bare?

Oh, yes. We want to excite our audience, no? Imagine he beats her until she begs him to f*** her, or, he simply rapes her--isn't that what is behind all of this? The sign-maker/"artist" of the work seems to be slyly winking, doesn't he?


marichiko  Monday Nov 21 01:25 PM

Yes, Brianna I think you've caught what is disturbing about that sign! It slyly equates violence with sex! Give the little woman a good beating, then kiss and make-up. After all, you can get a woman to do whatever you want in bed if she's terrified of you. Oh, barf!



BigV  Monday Nov 21 02:36 PM

Maybe.

I've read this thread and viewed the picture every time there's been a reply, and frankly, that vibe never occurred to this man. Maybe it's the insensitive male chauvinistic pig blinding me to the message you're describing...

But I don't think so.



jinx  Monday Nov 21 03:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marichiko
And depicting the woman with breast bare?
Would that be considered "flirty"? If so, 1 in 3 Britons believe she would be partly or totally responsible if she were raped.


Undertoad  Monday Nov 21 03:58 PM

This is an African country and they will have a different attitude towards bare breasts. I know, I've seen the Nat'l Geographics.



marichiko  Monday Nov 21 05:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV
Maybe.

I've read this thread and viewed the picture every time there's been a reply, and frankly, that vibe never occurred to this man. Maybe it's the insensitive male chauvinistic pig blinding me to the message you're describing...

But I don't think so.
No, I don't think so, either. A guy whose mind doesn't work that way probably wouldn't pick up on it. Women are more likely to see the subtext in the message because we get to deal with it. For example, women tend to be the ones who get raped, not men (outside of prison, anyhow).


tw  Monday Nov 21 05:42 PM

One look at that billboard - and I see an ad that encourages wife beating. Look, for the message to have effect, the message must convey to the man an emotional distress at what he has done. That billboard - without any text - only glorifies the wife beating - or at least makes it appear to be something that men can do.

Appreciate that I was raised watching commercial created that Americans believed - such as smoking cigarettes does make one healthier. Yes, eliminate the current bias, and that is exactly what most Americans believed in the early 1960s even when the Surgeon Generals report confirmed in 1964(?) what was proven sometime in the 1940s.

I see an ad that actually does just the opposite of what is intended. I am sure most all do not see the same. But then I was raised to see the mindset of an advertising executives - propaganda expert.



Clodfobble  Monday Nov 21 08:24 PM

I saw an American television public service announcement about two years ago that was effectively this same message.

Man is shown going into a diner. He's very pleasant, orders water or something from the nice young waitress. She accidentally spills a little on his leg. He goes into a rage, first slapping her across the face, then shoving her back onto the table and pouring scalding coffee across her chest, all the while screaming obscenities at her.

Then the screen cuts to black and the message appears: "If you wouldn't get away with it here, why should you get away with it at home?"

Granted, I only saw it linked on the internet because it was stirring up controversy in whatever small town it had aired in once or twice before being yanked from the station. Obviously this sign isn't disturbing or horrifying anyone in Monrovia. But spousal abuse exists here too, and there are foolish people everywhere who think public awareness campaigns can solve everything.



xoxoxoBruce  Monday Nov 21 08:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marichiko
What are we coming to when we have to put up signs admonishing people to behave as normal human toward one another?
That's the problem there. He is behaving as a normal human. He's doing what his father did.....and his father before him. In that society it is normal behavior .....or at least one of the options, that is accepted behavior.
Other parts of the word have similar problems, like setting your wife on fire in India and other extremes in lots of places.
As you well know, rape is about power and humiliation, not sex. That's why is isn't looked upon as a great problem in countries where maiming and death are also viable options.


BigV  Monday Nov 21 10:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marichiko
No, I don't think so, either. A guy whose mind doesn't work that way probably wouldn't pick up on it. Women are more likely to see the subtext in the message because we get to deal with it. For example, women tend to be the ones who get raped, not men (outside of prison, anyhow).
First, thanks for the credit, marichiko, I appreciate it, really.

But I don't agree with your conclusion that women are more likely to see the subtext in the message, because they're women. I think someone, male or female, who sees the world as populated by threats would be more likely to see this subtext. To the extent that more women are beaten by men than there are men beaten by women (or men combined), more women see the threat here.

xoB is right, this is normal behavior, not my norms, but normal in the sense of common. And it is sad and tragic.


marichiko  Monday Nov 21 11:50 PM

Well, BigV, I think we are fundamentally in agreement. I did not mean to imply that the xx chromosome bestows x-ray vision to read between the lines of society's messages in general.

However, women are taught to view the world as populated by threats from men. "Don't wear suggestive clothing or you're asking for 'it.'" "Don't talk to strangers - especially men." "Don't go do things alone after dark."

Women are continually being warned how to avoid danger from men, whether real or percieved. When I had jobs that caused me to work until after dark, the security guards would always escort me and other female employees to our cars. They didn't do that for the male employees. Women are treated to stories of charming serial killers and rapists and told to "watch out". When I go out on the weekends selling roses, bar patrons and staff, especially the women, will admonish me to "stay safe." I seldom, if ever, hear anyone telling a man who goes out alone at night to "stay safe."

This is, indeed, society's norm, and, as a result, women are more quick to pick up on such subliminal messages.



Dagney  Tuesday Nov 22 09:31 AM

I think, you need to consider the cultural context as well - I don't know for certain, but I believe that the continual warnings of which you describe are more prevalent in 'industrialized' countries. There are places where women (amazingly) willingly accept the fact that they are considered to be 'less than' those who carry the XY chromosome pair. (I hesitate to call them men).

While I agree with most everything that's been said in the posts on this thread, I think that viewing the billboard without the 'filter' of American society, may show you a different picture.



wolf  Tuesday Nov 22 02:14 PM

This all reminds me of a scene in the recent film, "The Constant Gardner."

One of the marketplace scenes in Africa focused on what was essentially a PSA for AIDS prevention, and it was presented by a live theater troupe ... I just thought that was interesting, tailoring the medium to the best opportunity to reach a mass audience.



xoxoxoBruce  Tuesday Nov 22 08:47 PM

Quote:
However, women are taught to view the world as populated by threats from men. "Don't wear suggestive clothing or you're asking for 'it.'" "Don't talk to strangers - especially men." "Don't go do things alone after dark."
Reinforcing that, clothing for dangerous places.


lumberjim  Wednesday Nov 23 08:41 AM

if you can't read English, does the message come across effectively? Or does it look like foreplay?



Griff  Wednesday Nov 23 09:18 AM

They really are missing their target audience aren't they.



warch  Wednesday Nov 23 03:36 PM

I saw the boob as indicating she was a nursing mother.

Reminded me of theseKenyan Feminists Great Story!



xoxoxoBruce  Wednesday Nov 23 09:41 PM

That's great, Warch.



Billy Budapest  Monday Dec 5 08:19 PM

"former?"



capnhowdy  Monday Dec 5 09:45 PM

...someone who forms?........



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