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I was going to have a mid-life crisis but my wife told me that the rules called for buying a Corvette and having an affair with a teen-aged girl. Well, I wouldn't mind driving around in a Corvette but I'd do anything, absolutely ANYTHING, to avoid the company of teen-aged girls. I asked her if I could possibly have an affair with a 28-yr-old who acted a little immature and she told me "no". So I had to give it up. Sigh.
- Craig Jungers

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