Forget Rush! Is Elle OK??? :confused:

I saw her in rehab.

The hospital staff was paying way too much attention to her for my ego to handle. They wanted to get into her pants more than they wanted to hear me blab on and on .....for hours and hours.

HEY!

Did I just hear you say on your broadcast that you love your listeners? :vomit:

When did you fall in love? When your income from the show seemed like it might trickle off because of Kofi's smear?

Notice he didnt specify what race of listeners he loves.

Mr Snerdley, would you kill Slang's 24/7 membership? Yes, kill the love.


No, wait! I'd need to refund the balance. Never mind.

I just wish you hadnt used *me* in your little comment.


Now I gotta *bust my ass* 24/7 !

Thanks!

Bad idea Nads.

Yes, it's true. I am addicted to prescription painkillers


As I said in the last remaining moments of my show today, I will be going into full detox for this addiction. This program lasts 30 days and I will have my regular guest hosts take over the show until I return.

I fisrt started using these drugs after an unsuccessful back surgery and have continued for the past 4 years.

(thinks to self-- maybe I *shouldnt be golfing if I have that bad of a back pain*!)

Thank you all for the letters and call of support, I appreciate them more than you will ever know.

In a amazing reversal, millions of people are now hoping you recover from this Rush.

Normally I get several million prayers a day requesting that you get hit by a bus. They normally are shifted directly into the circular file.

Now there are millions of sincere prayers for me to help you.

I'll work on you as hard as you do!

(dialing)

1-800-288-2882

ring...ring

Rush: Yes?

Slang: Hey Rush, smee. Slang.

Rush: (silence)

Slang: I was just wonderin' if you were going to sue the Golfing establishment(s) of the country the same way the dems are suing the firearms industries? It seems pretty clear that thay are responsible for your addiction. The firearms lawsuits are about as weak as you suing golf(tm) for your back pain but since they started the ball rolling.......

Rush: (click)

Slang: Hello?

A discrete and secure detox bed awaits you, should you need it, oh maha rushie. Nobody would ever think of looking here ... none of the media feeding frenzy associated with the Betty Ford Clinic. And we'll let you smoke your cigars.

Just one important question ... hard walls or soft ones?


(all joking aside ... prescription pain killers has got to be one of the worst addictions to beat, because, after all, you're addicted to something NOT because you were (originally) using it recreationally, but because it was essential for your ability to function.)

Like Jimmy and Porn
 

I was thinking, Rush, that maybe you and Jimmy Swaggart should hang out. I mean, he was the anti-porn pornman and then there's you...mister conservative rxman. maybe if you apologize, someone will give you a tv pulpit.

He's already had a TV show: early-to-mid 90s.

So he has a history of not being able to hold a job.;)

1) I dont *need* a tv pulpit, I have the most successful radio program in the history of planet Earth. No, make that the galaxy.

2) I'm not good at apologizing and I certainly dont cry like Jimmy "who's yer daddy" Swaggart.

If you think back, you'll remember the show was on at 2 or 3 am! I couldnt get the liberal execs to give me any other spot. If I had gotten primetime, I'd have the most successful TV and radio programs in the history of the galaxy .

Not where I lived--it was on at 11:30pm, right after Johnny Carson/Jay Leno.