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-   -   Mormon Madness (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=10698)

Elspode 06-21-2006 02:47 PM

Why? Won't you just fall asleep afterward anyway? Succubi are easier to come by (pun intended) and they save time.

Pangloss62 06-21-2006 02:56 PM

Holy Mormonism! This string got longer than I ever imagined. Pretty amazing observations and good humor.

Hey Brianna, my mom sounds just like yours! Loves the Virgin Mary sooooooooooo much. She's a Fatamist at heart.

Trilby 06-21-2006 03:21 PM

As I said, memere has several shrines to 'the Virgin'---best is a three dimensional wall hanging of Mary avec l'enfant in the living room. My sis stenciled ivy around this icon. she also boasts numerous Mary pendants that she wears with alternating pink, lavendar and blue turtle neck sweaters.

Pangloss62 06-21-2006 03:39 PM

My mom (who is named Mary) has a big VM statue planted on the front lawn of the house where I grew up. She also posts all sorts of crazy stuff around the house like a photocopy of that Shroud of Tourin; I keep telling her that even the Vatican said that was a fraud, but she won't listen.

Trilby 06-21-2006 04:08 PM

my mom says praying to god is a waste of time as he is too busy running the universe. She always says, /*cue Ultra-Pious Look*/, "I think Jesus(nee God) is too busy running the world for my little problems, but, I think His mother listens." and then she furiously rubs her rosary beads. Is is any wonder I worship the Goddess?

WabUfvot5 06-21-2006 10:42 PM

Are there any other religions (xian or otherwise) that promote the open display of gaudy statues and religious symbols? I mean you never see a satanist proudly displaying a 5" diameter encircled pentacle crafted out of solid gold. It's time that changed.

rkzenrage 06-21-2006 10:49 PM

:eek: Now I want one!:eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna
my mom says praying to god is a waste of time as he is too busy running the universe. She always says, /*cue Ultra-Pious Look*/, "I think Jesus(nee God) is too busy running the world for my little problems, but, I think His mother listens." and then she furiously rubs her rosary beads. Is is any wonder I worship the Goddess?

Biblically, we are here to do what we do... an interventionist God goes against the bible as written, New Testament. We have free will (Job must be excluded because it was written-in by church fathers), Christians.
So, we are responsible for dealing with what happens to us.
However, healing and miracles are within us to do if we have enough faith, that is not God coming down that is us tapping into our own divine nature...
But, it is much easier to believe in SantaGod, so most do.
The Est version is scary for most.

wolf 06-21-2006 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jebediah
Are there any other religions (xian or otherwise) that promote the open display of gaudy statues and religious symbols? I mean you never see a satanist proudly displaying a 5" diameter encircled pentacle crafted out of solid gold. It's time that changed.

Clearly you've never been to a pagan festival ... while they are not satanists, many of the younger folk are very into being in-your-face-out-of-the-broomcloset-hey-look-at-me-I'm-a-motherfucking-pagan, and they have either large amounts of silver witchy jewelry or visible tattoos proclaiming the same.

WabUfvot5 06-22-2006 02:41 PM

You got me, never been to an actual fest. Now I know where to look...

Pie 06-22-2006 02:49 PM

...and you've obviously never been to a hindu temple.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...a_Balarama.jpg

Trilby 06-22-2006 03:05 PM

Every Thai or Vietnamese place of business around here has a little shrine area. They always look incredibly cheesy although I know they don't MEAN to look cheesy. They just DO.

Happy Monkey 06-22-2006 03:15 PM

I bet the Mormons can't wait for this musical to come out!

rkzenrage 06-22-2006 03:19 PM

I know I can't!

AlternateGray 06-27-2006 01:27 PM

Having lived in Utah for 22 years, and being raised Mormon, I gotta throw my two cents in.
Wolf- That's interesting, and the inbred thing might work for some of the bloodlines that were in the original mess of pioneers, but out of the 1 million Mormons living in Utah, very very few are descended from that stock. Trust me, geneaology is huge there, and out of all the Mormons you might meet, you'll probably never meet one descended from a polygamist.

Believe it or not, the Mormon religion is one of the fastest growing religions on the planet- it's usually in the top three, I think. I've heard that most of the converts are in Latin/South America, but cant' say for sure.

Joseph Smith may have been a fraud, but he wasn't your typical con man. The guy had some serious potential, power-wise and politically- shortly before his death he had declared his candidacy for president. Yes, the U.S. presidency. According to the Encyclopedia Britannica (ok, not the best reference, but I'm limited on resources here, my net is slow) he was regarded as having the potential to win. His business rep and charisma were that great. I'm thinking Bill Clinton Circa 1840 or so.
Also, I'm sure most of you haven't heard about any of them, but Mormon conspiracy theories abound in Utah. Some have truth, others are outright lies, but of course the best ones are always the ones that could be true. (Like the one about the Mormons possessing the largest private army in the world).
One of the more interesting things about Smith is his tie to the Freemasons. He did belong, that much is known. (although the Church denies it, I think). The rumors are: he used elements of the highest, most secret mason rituals in his creation of the higher sacred Mormon rituals; he rose to the highest degree possible faster than anyone ever has; that his last words were the beginning of a coded mason cry for help; that the masons were so offended by his creation of a bogus religion that they booted him, and so on and so forth. I'm sure there's a few I haven't heard. Aleister Crowley was either a madman or a genius depending on who you are, but if I remember right he claimed that Smith had true knowledge and used it to deceive people for his own purposes.

Lastly, if you join the freemasons, the church will excommunicate you in a heartbeat. For God's sake, you can kill someone and not get excommunicated. I've also heard that if you're on the Mormon baptism roles, you cannot join a masonic lodge in Utah.

Ok, so there's not much in there about the modern day church. I have a tendency to ramble. Anyways. I haven't been to church in a long time, and I have no interest in going back. As I've warned cellarites before, though, I am creating my own: the Freemormons. "You can join now or join later, but you will join." :3eye: Submit.

Happy Monkey 06-27-2006 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlternateGray
Believe it or not, the Mormon religion is one of the fastest growing religions on the planet- it's usually in the top three, I think. I've heard that most of the converts are in Latin/South America, but cant' say for sure.

My brother saw that when he was down there (I forget which country). One thing they do is build extremely nice recreational facilities in extremely poor areas, and the entry fee is conversion.


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