Pointedly Ignored
 

Oh, what the hell. I'm gonna throw this out there. Last school quarter I took a required English class with a prof I'd never had before, didn't know, etc. I liked him and thought he was a v. good prof but I didn't DO anything stupid like make cow-eyes or ambush him before or after class, NOTHING. I wrote him one email about a technical aspect of a paper I was writing for him. He invited me to take another class with him, the class I'm in this quarter (19th C. American authors). Since the beginning of this class he has been pointedly ignoring me even though I've done nothing to make him feel uncomfortable, I've said nothing personal to him, zero. Now. I know when I am being ignored so don't think I am being overly paranoid (which, I admit, I sometimes am) but what is UP with this behavior? It is bumming me out. And, sorta pissing me off. Actually, I'm pretty mad about it. I mean, I could stay home and be ignored. Why the hell did he even mention this class (which I probably would not have taken otherwise) to me and encourage me to sign up? And it's not like he was desperate for students--it's a fairly big class.

He considers it a point of professional pride to avoid personal interaction with students, particularly attractive female students, which brings us to the real issue, he is uncomfortable around women, and now regrets what he is afraid may have constituted a breach of professionalism, which is actually a manifestation of the uneasiness he feels due to the fact that he doesn't want to show any favoritism towards you, due to your prior communications, especially his recommendation that you take this class, in light of the fact that you might percieve that he is showing said favoritism towards you, therefore he makes a point not to communicate with you at all. If you could hear his thoughts, while he is ignoring you, I bet it would sound something like that. I predict that he will say something really awkward to you at the very last moment of the very last class.

I couldn't tell you... but this line...
Reminds me of the classroom scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark!

Huh. There are TONS of attractive female students, way, waaaaaaay more attractive than me. They are 19 and still believe in love and do not have post-pregnancy breasts and a permanant smirk on their face the way I do. :cool:

How does he feel about run-on sentences?

I bet the "invitation" to take his class really was just a self-serving way to boost his class numbers (some profs are even paid by enrollment numbers, and it's an ego-boost in any case,) but he can tell that you took it as a deliberately friendly gesture, so now he's trying to make it clear the invitation was nothing special.

I'm telling you, on the last day of class, you'll be almost out the door when you hear "Turn around, cow-eyes..."

(sung to the tune of Total Eclipse of the Heart)

I didn't take it as a deliberately friendly gesture. I am crystal clear on that front--perhaps they ARE rewarded via class size. Oh, well. It's just stuck in my craw as I've never done anything to suggest ANYTHING but HE is suggesting something by acting the way he is and I'd like him to knock it off. you know, this class is costing me 600.00, I'd like to be included.
Fukc him. I guess if he wants to expend energy on ignoring me, good for him. I hate all these pretentious bastards anyway. So full of themselves! Bah!

:lol:

You're sly.

define 'ignoring'

You say that like it's bad! DH prefers my boobs postpartum. Go figure.

Maybe he was knocked on the head between suggesting the class to you, and you taking it.
And maybe he developed the ability to see auras.
And in yours he sees that you are a passionate red-blooded woman.
And he can't trust himself to look any further.

Or something.

I reckon Flint got it in one.

Btw, the two English profs I know are fed up with 19yo bimbos throwing themselves at them and are very pleased to have more mature students in their classes both said they find them much more attractive. One of them admits to deliberately avoiding seeing the mature female students in his office becasue he feels it's harder to maintain the necessary prof/student relationship with them. The other has his wife in a nearby office, so not an issue!

No eye contact-EVER! When a prof is lecturing he usually (I mean, unless he's high or schizophrenic) scans the class and looks occasionally at his/her students while lecturing. I sit to the right and he lectures to the left. I sit to the left and he lectures to the right (and don't go, "Ah ha! You ARE stalking him!" b/c it;s a large class and everybody sits everywhere) You know, more than that, it's a feeling of him deliberately thinking I am not there. maybe clod is right on and he wants to be very certain I don't get any ideas. Which I don't.

Anyway, after class today (first time! I was pissed and wanted him to know I was there!) I asked him what did he think of this as a subject for my paper (which was v. apropos as two others asked him after class as well) and he said, "If it were any other student I'd say no. But you can do it. You have to be careful, but you can do it." And I said, "thanks, but I think this guy (Lacan) was full of it," and he said, "He was! YOu can't put that in your paper, though" and I was like--I KNOW. Gawd.

Look, i'm not trying to be snotty, but I was in a jr. level class (I have some gen. ed's to fulfill) and not ONE KID knew where the hell Chechnya is. Or why it's important to Russia. Shoot-they don't even remember life before Mtv. (I guess I am being snotty)

He obviously thinks you're intelligent and capable. Did he invite you to take this class in the email exchange last quarter, or later in person? He might have wanted you to help pull the GPA up.:angel:

Or if your reputation somehow preceded you, he's waiting for you to get stuck, so he can pounce. That's why he's demonstrating to the whole class he doesn't know you exist.... so they won't believe you later. :meanface:

You go!!

You deserve to be - you have world experience that the kids don't.

Don't remember? They were never taught in the first place.

your old prof/lover put notes in your file?

Yeah. Methinks so.

dammit!

Oh honey--get over it.

http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=723
http://www.questionablecontent.net/merch.php

I don't think it mattered, that was a deep rational that was written either way.

I think most profs have so many demands on their time with regard to students that they can hardly be expected to remember every communication they have with each individual one, no matter how dedicated they are.

I wouldn't even be thinking about it if I were you. Just do the course and then move on to the next.

[smart]Um... if he's an English prof., doesn't that make him either gay or a masher.[/comment]

I remember you've had relationship issues with a professor before. Was he at the same University? If so he may have been given a heads-up.

The uncomfortable bottom line:
No matter the situation, attention seeking on your part is completely innappropriate if he is doing his job assessing your writing.

Nah, different Uni. I know, RE: the bottom line. I'm just bored and want some drama. :blush:

I'll prolly get spanked for that.

I have no idea why I said that.

I must go on hiatus. I'm being reckless.

Jim beat me to it...I think the guy talked with your old flame, and it soured new prof. You'll win him over.

Don't be too reckless...use protection.

you hope you do

Pointedly ignoring the object of desire is a form of flirting to some of us. Or, at least, a way of getting things done when said object has a tendency to overwhelm all rational thought when given an opening.

Damn, Grant........ you've got to learn to multi-task.
"For well you know that it's a fool, Who plays it cool, By making his world, A little colder." :cool:

I think that makes me the most popular woman in Britain right now :joylove:

I just thought my invisibility cloak was working really well.

"You've found her, now go and get her, remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better"?

I always thought Eleanor Rigby sounded hot. I can't believe Father McKenzie never tapped that.

Thanks a lot.. I had to go back and read the whole damned thing.

oh, yeah. Just found out. He's treating everyone like this so is not personal. He must be having some problems somewhere.

Nope, I still can't figure out multi-quote :mecry:

Ibram, have to join Steve Dallas there with a :eyebrow: kind of thanks. I've also had to go back and read it all from the beginning. Am enjoying it enormously of course.

Bri - there you go. Shoulda guessed someone who could ignore you must have issues. Feel free to ignore him back now, unless it's affecting your education, in which case report him :cool:

Say you want to quote three posts; click http://cellar.org/images/buttons2007/multiquote_off.gif on the first two, and http://cellar.org/images/buttons2007/quote.gif on the third.

Or click the multi post tab on whatever posts you want to quote, then the reply button. :)