Pointedly Ignored

Trilby · 01-23-2007, 08:58 AM

Oh, what the hell. I'm gonna throw this out there. Last school quarter I took a required English class with a prof I'd never had before, didn't know, etc. I liked him and thought he was a v. good prof but I didn't DO anything stupid like make cow-eyes or ambush him before or after class, NOTHING. I wrote him one email about a technical aspect of a paper I was writing for him. He invited me to take another class with him, the class I'm in this quarter (19th C. American authors). Since the beginning of this class he has been pointedly ignoring me even though I've done nothing to make him feel uncomfortable, I've said nothing personal to him, zero. Now. I know when I am being ignored so don't think I am being overly paranoid (which, I admit, I sometimes am) but what is UP with this behavior? It is bumming me out. And, sorta pissing me off. Actually, I'm pretty mad about it. I mean, I could stay home and be ignored. Why the hell did he even mention this class (which I probably would not have taken otherwise) to me and encourage me to sign up? And it's not like he was desperate for students--it's a fairly big class.

Flint · 01-23-2007, 09:05 AM

He considers it a point of professional pride to avoid personal interaction with students, particularly attractive female students, which brings us to the real issue, he is uncomfortable around women, and now regrets what he is afraid may have constituted a breach of professionalism, which is actually a manifestation of the uneasiness he feels due to the fact that he doesn't want to show any favoritism towards you, due to your prior communications, especially his recommendation that you take this class, in light of the fact that you might percieve that he is showing said favoritism towards you, therefore he makes a point not to communicate with you at all. If you could hear his thoughts, while he is ignoring you, I bet it would sound something like that. I predict that he will say something really awkward to you at the very last moment of the very last class.

SteveDallas · 01-23-2007, 09:06 AM

I couldn't tell you... but this line...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

make cow-eyes

Reminds me of the classroom scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark!

Trilby · 01-23-2007, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

He considers it a point of professional pride to avoid personal interaction with students, particularly attractive female students

Huh. There are TONS of attractive female students, way, waaaaaaay more attractive than me. They are 19 and still believe in love and do not have post-pregnancy breasts and a permanant smirk on their face the way I do.

SteveDallas · 01-23-2007, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

He considers it a point of professional pride to avoid personal interaction with students, particularly attractive female students, which brings us to the real issue, he is uncomfortable around women, and now regrets what he is afraid may have constituted a breach of professionalism, which is actually a manifestation of the uneasiness he feels due to the fact that he doesn't want to show any favoritism towards you, due to your prior communications, especially his recommendation that you take this class, in light of the fact that you might percieve that he is showing said favoritism towards you, therefore he makes a point not to communicate with you at all.

How does he feel about run-on sentences?

Clodfobble · 01-23-2007, 09:49 AM

I bet the "invitation" to take his class really was just a self-serving way to boost his class numbers (some profs are even paid by enrollment numbers, and it's an ego-boost in any case,) but he can tell that you took it as a deliberately friendly gesture, so now he's trying to make it clear the invitation was nothing special.

Flint · 01-23-2007, 10:02 AM

I'm telling you, on the last day of class, you'll be almost out the door when you hear "Turn around, cow-eyes..."

(sung to the tune of Total Eclipse of the Heart)

Trilby · 01-23-2007, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

... but he can tell that you took it as a deliberately friendly gesture, so now he's trying to make it clear the invitation was nothing special.

I didn't take it as a deliberately friendly gesture. I am crystal clear on that front--perhaps they ARE rewarded via class size. Oh, well. It's just stuck in my craw as I've never done anything to suggest ANYTHING but HE is suggesting something by acting the way he is and I'd like him to knock it off. you know, this class is costing me 600.00, I'd like to be included.
Fukc him. I guess if he wants to expend energy on ignoring me, good for him. I hate all these pretentious bastards anyway. So full of themselves! Bah!

Deuce · 01-23-2007, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

How does he feel about run-on sentences?

You're sly.

lumberjim · 01-23-2007, 10:47 AM

define 'ignoring'

LabRat · 01-23-2007, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

... post-pregnancy breasts ...

You say that like it's bad! DH prefers my boobs postpartum. Go figure.

Sundae · 01-23-2007, 12:27 PM

Maybe he was knocked on the head between suggesting the class to you, and you taking it.
And maybe he developed the ability to see auras.
And in yours he sees that you are a passionate red-blooded woman.
And he can't trust himself to look any further.

Or something.

monster · 01-23-2007, 01:28 PM

I reckon Flint got it in one.

Btw, the two English profs I know are fed up with 19yo bimbos throwing themselves at them and are very pleased to have more mature students in their classes both said they find them much more attractive. One of them admits to deliberately avoiding seeing the mature female students in his office becasue he feels it's harder to maintain the necessary prof/student relationship with them. The other has his wife in a nearby office, so not an issue!

Trilby · 01-23-2007, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

define 'ignoring'

No eye contact-EVER! When a prof is lecturing he usually (I mean, unless he's high or schizophrenic) scans the class and looks occasionally at his/her students while lecturing. I sit to the right and he lectures to the left. I sit to the left and he lectures to the right (and don't go, "Ah ha! You ARE stalking him!" b/c it;s a large class and everybody sits everywhere) You know, more than that, it's a feeling of him deliberately thinking I am not there. maybe clod is right on and he wants to be very certain I don't get any ideas. Which I don't.

Anyway, after class today (first time! I was pissed and wanted him to know I was there!) I asked him what did he think of this as a subject for my paper (which was v. apropos as two others asked him after class as well) and he said, "If it were any other student I'd say no. But you can do it. You have to be careful, but you can do it." And I said, "thanks, but I think this guy (Lacan) was full of it," and he said, "He was! YOu can't put that in your paper, though" and I was like--I KNOW. Gawd.

Trilby · 01-23-2007, 01:56 PM

Look, i'm not trying to be snotty, but I was in a jr. level class (I have some gen. ed's to fulfill) and not ONE KID knew where the hell Chechnya is. Or why it's important to Russia. Shoot-they don't even remember life before Mtv. (I guess I am being snotty)

01-23-2007, 08:58 AM	#1
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Pointedly Ignored Oh, what the hell. I'm gonna throw this out there. Last school quarter I took a required English class with a prof I'd never had before, didn't know, etc. I liked him and thought he was a v. good prof but I didn't DO anything stupid like make cow-eyes or ambush him before or after class, NOTHING. I wrote him one email about a technical aspect of a paper I was writing for him. He invited me to take another class with him, the class I'm in this quarter (19th C. American authors). Since the beginning of this class he has been pointedly ignoring me even though I've done nothing to make him feel uncomfortable, I've said nothing personal to him, zero. Now. I know when I am being ignored so don't think I am being overly paranoid (which, I admit, I sometimes am) but what is UP with this behavior? It is bumming me out. And, sorta pissing me off. Actually, I'm pretty mad about it. I mean, I could stay home and be ignored. Why the hell did he even mention this class (which I probably would not have taken otherwise) to me and encourage me to sign up? And it's not like he was desperate for students--it's a fairly big class. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-23-2007, 09:05 AM	#2
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	He considers it a point of professional pride to avoid personal interaction with students, particularly attractive female students, which brings us to the real issue, he is uncomfortable around women, and now regrets what he is afraid may have constituted a breach of professionalism, which is actually a manifestation of the uneasiness he feels due to the fact that he doesn't want to show any favoritism towards you, due to your prior communications, especially his recommendation that you take this class, in light of the fact that you might percieve that he is showing said favoritism towards you, therefore he makes a point not to communicate with you at all. If you could hear his thoughts, while he is ignoring you, I bet it would sound something like that. I predict that he will say something really awkward to you at the very last moment of the very last class. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

01-23-2007, 10:02 AM	#7
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	I'm telling you, on the last day of class, you'll be almost out the door when you hear "Turn around, cow-eyes..." (sung to the tune of Total Eclipse of the Heart) __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

01-23-2007, 10:47 AM	#10
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	define 'ignoring' __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

01-23-2007, 12:27 PM	#12
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Maybe he was knocked on the head between suggesting the class to you, and you taking it. And maybe he developed the ability to see auras. And in yours he sees that you are a passionate red-blooded woman. And he can't trust himself to look any further. Or something. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

01-23-2007, 09:49 AM	#6
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I bet the "invitation" to take his class really was just a self-serving way to boost his class numbers (some profs are even paid by enrollment numbers, and it's an ego-boost in any case,) but he can tell that you took it as a deliberately friendly gesture, so now he's trying to make it clear the invitation was nothing special.

01-23-2007, 01:28 PM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I reckon Flint got it in one. Btw, the two English profs I know are fed up with 19yo bimbos throwing themselves at them and are very pleased to have more mature students in their classes both said they find them much more attractive. One of them admits to deliberately avoiding seeing the mature female students in his office becasue he feels it's harder to maintain the necessary prof/student relationship with them. The other has his wife in a nearby office, so not an issue! __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-23-2007, 01:56 PM	#15
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Look, i'm not trying to be snotty, but I was in a jr. level class (I have some gen. ed's to fulfill) and not ONE KID knew where the hell Chechnya is. Or why it's important to Russia. Shoot-they don't even remember life before Mtv. (I guess I am being snotty) __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

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