Really Creative Insults
 

It's hard to shake people up these days--everyone is so jaded and recherche. It's tough to make an insult stick. I like this:

I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you moldy rogue, away!

Taken from: Henry IV, part 2

Shakespeare is still the high water mark.

What's your favorite insult?

If somebody is being a little too smug, bragging about a possession they have, or a club they belong to, or a school they are going to, etc., you can say with a smile on you face "Well, I'm sure you will be very happy with that."

It's nice and subtle, and said in the proper dismissive way, it's a real put-down without being vulgar. The implication that "you" must have something wrong with you if you are happy about such a trivial thing.

when someone annoying makes a really bad joke and people laugh to be polite, all you have to do is laugh after everyone finishes and say very sarcastically "hahaha, wow, you're so witty!"

Your mother fucking sucks big fucking elephant dick!

Did your parents have any children that lived?

The best part of you ran down your mother's leg.

ok, then......don't forget to eat a dick! :)

I knew they could pile it high but how did they ever teach it to talk?

1 million sperm and you were the winner?

oh, i feel so bad...I totally forgot to offer.......did you want some? : points to crotch with both hands:

I belive that this thread contributes evidence to support the theory that creativity and testes come from the same biological matter and are mutually exclusive.

(Which of course means that men have no creativity and what women call creativity is a potential load of bollocks)

did you ever think anything that you DIDN'T say?

:lol: I like that one.

im sorry were you talking? i thought it was a yak's mating call and you were responding

Waiting for someone to complain about my baby screams being loud so that I can say "Sorry for the screaming, but she took one good look at you and she is too young to understand monsters aren't real"

From the movie 300, when Xerxes asks Leonidus to surrender and kneel, he replies "sorry, but after spending the day slaughtering your soldiers, I've developed a horrible knot in my leg muscle, so can't see this happening".