The Cellar - So Long Common Sense

As we enter the season of remembrance spare a moment of reflection for our dear departed Mr. Common Sense.

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary.

OBITUARY
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. When a copper couldn’t clip a yob around the ear; a six-year-old boy was reported for sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens were suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student, which only worsened his condition.

He ailed further still when Diversity was declared the new epoch, but what we really needed was a new Enoch.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer an aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was actually hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge sum.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. Three stepbrothers survive him; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Author unknown.