So Long Common Sense

TheMercenary · 11-14-2007, 07:00 PM

As we enter the season of remembrance spare a moment of reflection for our dear departed Mr. Common Sense.

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary.

OBITUARY
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. When a copper couldn’t clip a yob around the ear; a six-year-old boy was reported for sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens were suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student, which only worsened his condition.

He ailed further still when Diversity was declared the new epoch, but what we really needed was a new Enoch.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer an aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was actually hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge sum.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. Three stepbrothers survive him; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Author unknown.

Aliantha · 11-14-2007, 07:33 PM

I miss you common sense.

Bullitt · 11-14-2007, 08:08 PM

We barely knew ye.

DucksNuts · 11-14-2007, 08:09 PM

I already feel common senses loss around here

Crimson Ghost · 11-15-2007, 01:14 AM

The loss will be felt by all for years to come.

Trilby · 11-15-2007, 01:51 AM

Who, now?

Cyclefrance · 11-15-2007, 08:13 AM

I think he has a long-lost son who is very slowly making himself known - Uncommon Sense...

Shawnee123 · 11-15-2007, 10:03 AM

Alas, poor Common Sense. I knew him, Horatio.

glatt · 11-15-2007, 10:26 AM

Meh, he was overrated. People always talk about the dead like they are sacred or something. CS was nothing special. Besides, he never returned that drill I loaned him.

Shawnee123 · 11-15-2007, 10:32 AM

lmao

Then how come I see you at his grave every year. You're dressed in black with a veil, and you leave a lone rose. You're not so mysterious as you think, especially with "GLATT" plastered across the back of your shirt.

Trilby · 11-15-2007, 10:34 AM

He doesn't leave a lone rose--it's a bottle of cognac; but he IS dressed in black with a veil.

Trilby · 11-15-2007, 10:35 AM

PS--I know it's cognac coz i creep up after he's gone and drink it.

Shawnee123 · 11-15-2007, 10:35 AM

Did I get my grave mysteries mixed up again?

How YOU doin', Bri?

Trilby · 11-15-2007, 10:37 AM

Oh, just hangin' around, bald, wondering if today is the day I'll take a shower...

Shawnee123 · 11-15-2007, 10:38 AM

Are you feeling well at all? Maybe a shower would feel good, but if you're feeling pretty poorly it might just feel irritating.

11-14-2007, 07:00 PM	#1
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	So Long Common Sense As we enter the season of remembrance spare a moment of reflection for our dear departed Mr. Common Sense. My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary. OBITUARY Common Sense Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. When a copper couldn’t clip a yob around the ear; a six-year-old boy was reported for sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens were suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student, which only worsened his condition. He ailed further still when Diversity was declared the new epoch, but what we really needed was a new Enoch. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer an aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was actually hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge sum. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. Three stepbrothers survive him; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. Author unknown. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

11-14-2007, 07:33 PM	#2
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I miss you common sense. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-14-2007, 08:08 PM	#3
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	We barely knew ye. __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

11-15-2007, 01:14 AM	#5
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	The loss will be felt by all for years to come. __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

11-15-2007, 01:51 AM	#6
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Who, now? __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-14-2007, 08:09 PM	#4
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	I already feel common senses loss around here

11-15-2007, 08:13 AM	#7
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	I think he has a long-lost son who is very slowly making himself known - Uncommon Sense... __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears

11-15-2007, 10:03 AM	#8
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Alas, poor Common Sense. I knew him, Horatio.

11-15-2007, 10:26 AM	#9
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Meh, he was overrated. People always talk about the dead like they are sacred or something. CS was nothing special. Besides, he never returned that drill I loaned him.

11-15-2007, 10:32 AM	#10
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	lmao Then how come I see you at his grave every year. You're dressed in black with a veil, and you leave a lone rose. You're not so mysterious as you think, especially with "GLATT" plastered across the back of your shirt.

11-15-2007, 10:34 AM	#11
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	He doesn't leave a lone rose--it's a bottle of cognac; but he IS dressed in black with a veil. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-15-2007, 10:35 AM	#12
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	PS--I know it's cognac coz i creep up after he's gone and drink it. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-15-2007, 10:37 AM	#14
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Oh, just hangin' around, bald, wondering if today is the day I'll take a shower... __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-15-2007, 10:38 AM	#15
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Are you feeling well at all? Maybe a shower would feel good, but if you're feeling pretty poorly it might just feel irritating.

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