Unfinished poem...
 

This has been bubbling away for a few days...not sure whether it's a poem or lyrics, really...

It feels to me like it needs a better, more conclusive ending, what do you guys think?


Days

Today is a good day,
I'm feeling light inside,
Albeit the sky is grey;
all I see are the linings,

of the clouds.

Take a snapshot;
take a sample of the road
I'm on.

Put them in a scrapbook;
glue them down in a hide-
bound book

Today is a good day,
I like the journey I’m on.
Albeit the road is long;
all I see are the flowers,

on the verge.

Hold the cold wind;
hold the crunch of the snow
underfoot.

Wrap them in plastic;
keep them safe in a pad-
locked box.

Today is a good day,
My mind is full of ideas,
Albeit the pressure's on;
all I feel is the rush,

of my dreams.

It is like a song I would like to hear.

I love the ending - that it is almost open-ended leave one wanting more and thinking...thats a really good thing.

*smiles* thanks!

Having reflected on it a little I think I'm going to leave it as it is. Thanks muchly for the feedback; I feel more confident about the ending now.