Valentines Verses (or Versus)
 

Post your funny, terrible, awe-inspiring, parody, mushy, haiku, sonnet, roses are red rip-off....whatever Valentines Verses here. The only "rule" is you wrote it yourself.

Valentines Versus
Hallmark's in the Red Corner.
Who will ring the bell?

as you can see, there is no quality control. I'm tempted to post a competition/poll for the funniest, though, I need a laugh.

Rose's are red
Violet's are blue
Yours are enormous
And streaked with poo.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
But since you have allergies,
This bunch of twigs will have to do.

ha!

You cheeky monkey!
I need you to finger my
cellar typewriter

I loved you and you left me
And my pining made me sick
For Valentines I hope you get
A case of spotted dick

excellent, SG :lol:

Valentine's Day -from then to now
Blushing, shy calf to Fatted Cow
From nameless and subtle to shameless and brash
If you really love me, give me all your cash.

I miss you my darling
Ever since we parted
But love is in the air
'Cause before you left you farted.

____________________________

Why do you love me
You said to me
Disdainfully.

I said to you
You are my rock
Plus you have a giant cock.

Why do I love thee
You said to me
Dejectedly.

I said to you
You love my wits!
No, you said, it is your tits.

--Emily Dicksinsome

Normal boyfriends break your heart
But you had to go and break my goddamn toilet!
With your death-defying fart.

I gave my love a cherry
Then we got stoned
I gave my love a chicken
And then we boned
But all this giving's over
This has to end
Don't be such a baby
Just stop cryin'

ummmm thought about an answer to that but i digress. anon slapped me in the back of the head.

Your 1#

on a list of 20 people I'm going to kill

Thighs clamped around my head
Squeakin' springs in the bed
Moans and groans all thru the night
Pushin' & pullin' with all my might
Her ass a-bouncing, my love a-flowin'
The First Valentine's with Baby is all I'm knowin'.

On Valentine's day, we old wives hear
If you've been a good lover all year
The bj fairy will put in a showing
So let's all hope for a report that's glowing

Thought I'd try a romantic one:

Pizza for Jism

Give me pizza on Valentines Day
Show me you don't care what I weigh
Neverending pizza, and then I'll say
"Lie back darlin', time for your BJ"

And I will swallow you, don't you fret
Deep in my throat all salty and wet
A BJ for pizza, not a bad bet
Just feed me pizza and that's what you'll get

So this VD no need to feel glum
I get mine and you'll get some
Just remember this rule of thumb
Give me pizza I'll suck til you cum

Inspired by Shawnee (the pizza bit anyway)

:D