Valentines Verses (or Versus)

monster · 02-06-2011, 05:45 PM

Post your funny, terrible, awe-inspiring, parody, mushy, haiku, sonnet, roses are red rip-off....whatever Valentines Verses here. The only "rule" is you wrote it yourself.

Valentines Versus
Hallmark's in the Red Corner.
Who will ring the bell?

as you can see, there is no quality control. I'm tempted to post a competition/poll for the funniest, though, I need a laugh.

monster · 02-06-2011, 06:06 PM

Rose's are red
Violet's are blue
Yours are enormous
And streaked with poo.

DanaC · 02-06-2011, 06:10 PM

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
But since you have allergies,
This bunch of twigs will have to do.

monster · 02-06-2011, 07:14 PM

ha!

You cheeky monkey!
I need you to finger my
cellar typewriter

Sundae · 02-07-2011, 02:48 PM

I loved you and you left me
And my pining made me sick
For Valentines I hope you get
A case of spotted dick

monster · 02-07-2011, 08:33 PM

excellent, SG

Valentine's Day -from then to now
Blushing, shy calf to Fatted Cow
From nameless and subtle to shameless and brash
If you really love me, give me all your cash.

Shawnee123 · 02-09-2011, 08:05 AM

I miss you my darling
Ever since we parted
But love is in the air
'Cause before you left you farted.

____________________________

Why do you love me
You said to me
Disdainfully.

I said to you
You are my rock
Plus you have a giant cock.

Why do I love thee
You said to me
Dejectedly.

I said to you
You love my wits!
No, you said, it is your tits.

--Emily Dicksinsome

monster · 02-09-2011, 08:42 PM

Normal boyfriends break your heart
But you had to go and break my goddamn toilet!
With your death-defying fart.

Shawnee123 · 02-10-2011, 08:30 AM

I gave my love a cherry
Then we got stoned
I gave my love a chicken
And then we boned
But all this giving's over
This has to end
Don't be such a baby
Just stop cryin'

plthijinx · 02-11-2011, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I said to you
You are my rock
Plus you have a giant cock.

--Emily Dicksinsome

ummmm thought about an answer to that but i digress. anon slapped me in the back of the head.

toranokaze · 02-11-2011, 11:58 AM

Your 1#

on a list of 20 people I'm going to kill

Gravdigr · 02-11-2011, 04:36 PM

Thighs clamped around my head
Squeakin' springs in the bed
Moans and groans all thru the night
Pushin' & pullin' with all my might
Her ass a-bouncing, my love a-flowin'
The First Valentine's with Baby is all I'm knowin'.

monster · 02-11-2011, 07:41 PM

On Valentine's day, we old wives hear
If you've been a good lover all year
The bj fairy will put in a showing
So let's all hope for a report that's glowing

Sundae · 02-12-2011, 09:59 AM

Thought I'd try a romantic one:

Pizza for Jism

Give me pizza on Valentines Day
Show me you don't care what I weigh
Neverending pizza, and then I'll say
"Lie back darlin', time for your BJ"

And I will swallow you, don't you fret
Deep in my throat all salty and wet
A BJ for pizza, not a bad bet
Just feed me pizza and that's what you'll get

So this VD no need to feel glum
I get mine and you'll get some
Just remember this rule of thumb
Give me pizza I'll suck til you cum

Inspired by Shawnee (the pizza bit anyway)

Gravdigr · 02-12-2011, 01:08 PM

02-06-2011, 05:45 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Valentines Verses (or Versus) Post your funny, terrible, awe-inspiring, parody, mushy, haiku, sonnet, roses are red rip-off....whatever Valentines Verses here. The only "rule" is you wrote it yourself. Valentines Versus Hallmark's in the Red Corner. Who will ring the bell? as you can see, there is no quality control. I'm tempted to post a competition/poll for the funniest, though, I need a laugh. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-06-2011, 06:06 PM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Rose's are red Violet's are blue Yours are enormous And streaked with poo. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-06-2011, 07:14 PM	#4
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	ha! You cheeky monkey! I need you to finger my cellar typewriter __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-07-2011, 08:33 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	excellent, SG Valentine's Day -from then to now Blushing, shy calf to Fatted Cow From nameless and subtle to shameless and brash If you really love me, give me all your cash. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2011, 08:42 PM	#8
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Normal boyfriends break your heart But you had to go and break my goddamn toilet! With your death-defying fart. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-07-2011, 02:48 PM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I loved you and you left me And my pining made me sick For Valentines I hope you get A case of spotted dick

02-09-2011, 08:05 AM	#7
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I miss you my darling Ever since we parted But love is in the air 'Cause before you left you farted. ____________________________ Why do you love me You said to me Disdainfully. I said to you You are my rock Plus you have a giant cock. Why do I love thee You said to me Dejectedly. I said to you You love my wits! No, you said, it is your tits. --Emily Dicksinsome

02-10-2011, 08:30 AM	#9
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I gave my love a cherry Then we got stoned I gave my love a chicken And then we boned But all this giving's over This has to end Don't be such a baby Just stop cryin'

02-11-2011, 11:58 AM	#11
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	Your 1# on a list of 20 people I'm going to kill __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

02-11-2011, 04:36 PM	#12
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Thighs clamped around my head Squeakin' springs in the bed Moans and groans all thru the night Pushin' & pullin' with all my might Her ass a-bouncing, my love a-flowin' The First Valentine's with Baby is all I'm knowin'. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-11-2011, 07:41 PM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	On Valentine's day, we old wives hear If you've been a good lover all year The bj fairy will put in a showing So let's all hope for a report that's glowing __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-12-2011, 09:59 AM	#14
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Thought I'd try a romantic one: Pizza for Jism Give me pizza on Valentines Day Show me you don't care what I weigh Neverending pizza, and then I'll say "Lie back darlin', time for your BJ" And I will swallow you, don't you fret Deep in my throat all salty and wet A BJ for pizza, not a bad bet Just feed me pizza and that's what you'll get So this VD no need to feel glum I get mine and you'll get some Just remember this rule of thumb Give me pizza I'll suck til you cum Inspired by Shawnee (the pizza bit anyway)

02-12-2011, 01:08 PM	#15
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Attached Images __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)