It is Official...MTV Sucks Big Green Donkey Dicks

[Elspode]

For the first and last time in my life, I watched the MTV Video Music Awards tonight. MTV made a powerful statement tonight. The statement was as follows:

"We don't want relevance. We don't want poignance. Talent is immaterial. Give us rap, R&B, hip-hop and tits, tits, tits, and you shall be duly rewarded. No one with any money to spend gives a rat's ass about some old fuck country crooner or his life story. No one is interested in depth, no one cares about content, and in fact, we're a little bit offended that anyone dared think otherwise. Meaningful, insightful videos? The only insight we're interested in is the kind of insight that gets us another look up Beyonce's crotch during a major dip move while lip-syncing a dance number."

As you can probably tell, the Johnny Cash video 'Hurt' was all but shut out tonight, winning an award for, of all things, cinematography (the video was mostly a collection of old Cash clips interspersed with film of Johnny sitting in his living room, emoting his heart out to the camera).

Justin Timberlake showed at least a little class when accepting the Best Male Video award by saying that it was rightfully Johnny Cash's.

He was right.