A rather long hypothetical that's for reals!

SOoooo...

Let's suppose you are a gal who has met a man who sems to be Mr. Wonderful. Everthing just seems ro click. You two get along great. Your friends all approve - even your mother who would question Jesus himself calls him " a nice young man" - until...

One day he tells you this very wierd story of how he ended up spending 8 months on a ward for the criminally insane out in the California State prison system 20 years ago when he was but a lad. He claims this was a miscarriage of justice (naturally) and that all he had done was find a key laying in the street and return it to the porch of the house of a neighbor. The neighbor later on was robbed and the police wrongfully arrested him for the crime. This all happened when our hero was on a visit to a brother who lived out there in Lotus Land long ago and so far away.

This is a very hard pill to swallow, but you try. You've been seeing the dude for 2 months - everything has been perfect so far. You try to get further information and he looks hurt like he can't stand remembering it all and you are bringing up a subject which only brings him back to old pain and grief. You let go of the topic, but now there's a big question mark in your mind.

You go along for a while with him doing his Prince Charming routine - flowers, dinners for two, blah, blah, blah when one day he suddenly reveals a second tidbit. His bro out in Cali had killed himself and his girlfriend in some sort of suicide pact because they "loved one another so much." Prince Charming adds that he feels bad because he had arranged to visit them the very same day that they died, but something more important came up and he hadn't dropped by as scheduled. "Had I only known," he says sadly.

WHAT!!!!!!!!!

You don't like this story one bit - what does Prince mean that "they loved one another so much they had to die"?

You politely excuse yourself from the champaigne and caviar dinner for two and pretend that you need to go powder your nose. In reality, you tear out of the restaurant and hail a cab to take you to the nearest public library and make it snappy. The reference librarian calmly listens to your request for news stories and/or obits from the Lodi, CA local paper for the date in question. With a flick of her wrist she accesses some amazing Cali Library System reference site and poses your question to the eager seeker of truth on the other end of the screen. TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP!

Her colleague in Cali sends back a newspaper article which is printed out at once right before your eyes. "15 cents, please," says your local librarian, primly holding out her hand. You hand her a dollar and dash back to your waiting cab to get back to the elite restaurant where Prince is by now doubtless tapping his foot.

As the cabbie drives you back at breakneck speed, you scan the one page document in your best Evelyn Wood style. You learn that far from being a suicide pact, the bro had broken up with the GF months before, The EX GF had come home for lunch and been shot with a 22 rifle in the face by the bro who then turned the gun on himself. The bro had bought the rifle two days before the incident. The story also claims that the bro actually lived in Sacramento NOT Lodi where the murder/suicide took place. The reporter who wrote this story adds cryptically that the bro's car was allegedly seen by a neighbor around 11:45am. The bodies were found the same day at 3:00 pm. There is a note from the Cali librarian apologizing for being unable to find anything else. No follow up story, no obits, no nothing.

You know Prince's family has all sorts of military connections and political and financial ones, as well. These folks have CLOUT! A phone call or two to the right person? A mother weeping, "I've already lost ONE son!" ??????????

Your thoughts are racing. Perhaps, Prince just wanted to make things look good by calling it a suicide pact? But why even tell the story at all? Its not widely known, YOU'D never heard it before and everybody gossips endlessly here in Gotham City and you hear most, if not all the juicey tales. And why was the bro's car Allegedly parked in front of the ex GF's? The bro had to get down from Sacramento somehow. Ghosts don't come out and move their cars after they've killed themselves. It should have been a routine matter, not even worthy of comment. "Yep, there's the perp's car, right out front." So just why was Prince REALLY locked up on a ward for the criminally insane? Maybe he wasn't even locked up at all! HUH? WHAT? Ooooh, why does dating in the 21st century have to be so difficult? Is the guy a prince or a sociopath?

The cabbie pulls up in front of the swank restaurant where Prince sits waiting for your return, So you:

1) Tip the driver extravagantly and stroll back in, making up a little white lie about having to stand in line behind the entire Dallas Cowboys' Cheerleading Squad in the powder room and never mention the subject of Bro's sad demise ever again.

2) Say, "Home, James!" and call Prince on his cell and claim food poisoning. Then hang up and frantically try to contact San Joaquin County officialdom for more information.

3) Tell Prince you are dying to have a long heart to heart with him and arrange a meeting at a secluded spot in the mountains admidst a dark spruce forest where no one ever goes.

4) Tell the cabbie to step on the gas for the airport and take the next flight that's leaving for Rio and never return.

Thoughts? This is actually a for reals situation I have come up against written in a humorous style. Except that I don't feel much like laughing over it.