a sad ending to a wonderful friend

[plthijinx]

i'm so close to yelling i can't even begin to tell all of you all. this afternoon at around 3:15 cdt i received a phone call from mike, the owner of the flight school i work at on the weekends.
me: "hey mike"
mike:"hey. (loooooong pause) scinto's dead"

god. where do i begin. i'm so heart broken i don't know. i'm tearing up now as i type this. i met scinto back in 2002 when i was studying for my instructor rating, in a bar. yeah, in a bar. i can study a helluva lot better with distractions than i can alone in silence. anyway scinto has had some problems over the years, be it alcohol or drugs but when he was sober, he would give anyone the shirt off of his back to keep them warm or dry. whew. this is hard. i'm going to cut to the last 3 weeks.

a week ago friday scinto calls me and tells me he's stuck in the mud over at pearland (our home airport, we are opening a satelite location in a nearby town which is where i was located) while we're waiting for someone to drive along to pull him out he tells me that his AA sponsor got him all fucked up. "what?" i asked...he said "yeah, he asked me to go on a retreat which turned out to be a bunch of fucking weirdos! i'll explain when i get there, i'll get someone to pull me out." and he hung up. about 45 minutes later he showed up and proceeded to tell me how his AA sponsor took him to a "cult" retreat. i'm an open minded person. he isn't. he's very susceptible to actions by other people. he tells me that he was held against his will and forced to dance naked around a bon fire and that if he tried to leave he'd be killed. i could see in his eyes that something wasn't right. he was truely scared. i suggested that he dump his AA sponsor and chapter and go with another to which he quickly agreed to. then we just started bsing about other stuff. flying, chicks, friends then he left for home. that was the last time i spoke with him and saw him.

last thursday he showed up at the airport and was drinking, albeit with no intention of flying, he "quit" flying several months prior. a tell tell sign something wasn't right with him? maybe. then again maybe not. you'd have to of known him. i can't explain that part. he's gone off before, but not like this. apparently (i was not there) he left to give some guy a ride home who is not the most desirable people to hang out with. a coke addict. my heart just fell on the floor. no it's not me, but i know this person and can't wait to confront him. god i feel the hate coming out. HOW IN THE FUCKING HELL CAN SOMEONE WHO HAS NO DIRECTION IN LIFE FUCK UP SOMEONE WHO DOES!?!?! AND WHY IN GOD'S NAME CAN HE LET THAT HAPPEN TO HIMSELF?!?! HE HAD FRIENDS TO CALL. WE WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM BUT GODDAMNIT WE COULDN'T BABYSIT HIM. WHY IN THE FUCKING HELL DID HE AGREE TO GIVE CRACKHEAD A FUCKING RIDE HOME WHEN HE KNEW GODDAMN WELL WHAT HE WAS GETTING INTO? WHY WOULD HE PUT HIMSELF IN THAT F U C K E D U P SITUATION?

alright. sorry for the drama, but i don't express myself in typing very well.

the owner of the flight school got a phone call around 5 am friday morning from crackhead that scinto was waving a shotgun around and threatened to shoot him. that's the last we heard. i called scinto friday, saturday, sunday, and monday as well. nothing. voice mail. then i got the phone call today. he had shot himself in the head. rummor has it that there is no head left. fuck. i don't even know why i'm putting this here. to get it off my chest i suppose.

good night all. and remember: no matter how bad it seems, things will always get better. and I sincerly mean that. suicide is NOT THE FUCKING SOLUTION!