The Armadillo story

[footfootfoot]

Semi brief armadillo story
My Family lived in Dallas for a few years when I was a kid and my dad was in the advertising business. During that time he drove around a lot and ran over his share of 'dillos.

Later we all moved north to the suburbs of NYC where I grew up. My dad often talked about Dallas and the unpleasant crunch made when you drove over an armadillo.

Fast forward 40 years and my dad is in his late 70's driving for a car service, getting up every morning at 4 to drive across westchester to the taxi service.

He told me that every morning he'd see an armadillo running across the same street in Pelham, NY. He insisted it wasn't a racoon, he knew from armadillos and this was one. Every morning he and the armadillo would cross paths and my dad would have to swerve or skid to avoid it. It was as though the thing were trying to get run over. This happened every morning for a few months until one morning my dad heard the sound he never wanted to hear again.

Very strange. We figured that the dillo came from a nearby nursery which probably got its plant stock form down south.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Very strange. We figured that the dillo came from a nearby nursery where mother armadillos left their babies while they went out to work.

Of course no story involving the death of an animal is amusing [nod to PETA] but that did make me smile. Your poor Dad. Bleurgh.

[sweetwater]

That's a short story waiting to be written. By you? Haruki Murakami? Mulder? Somebody. Soon, OK?

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by sweetwater

That's a short story waiting to be written.

In fairness, Foot did it justice.

Haruki Murakami?

But great choice! I am a big fan.

My only other suggestion would be Joe R Lansdale. 'dillos being a part of Hap & Leonard's lives anyway.

[sweetwater]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

In fairness, Foot did it justice.

Yes, I agree! It's just like the first potato chip...

[TheMercenary]

As an avid dillo hunter, I found it to be quite amusing. Thanks feet.

[Shawnee123]

"The lonely armadillo looked across the great blacktop divide. He was sure there was another world, another place where he could be somebody. Every day he ran to it, searching, pining, but unsure what for what he needed. Every night he wandered home, having not found that for which he had travelled so far that day.

Then one day, he saw a light. This had to be it...this had to be his chance...SPLAT."

The End

[spudcon]

Shawnee, you've done it again. Beautiful!

[wolf]

Anybody got recipes for armored puppy? Is it worth the trouble of extracting them from those darn shells, or do you cook 'em like clams or mussels and just sort of scoop them out?

[Pie]

I'm thinking escargot. Lots of garlic-butter.

[footfootfoot]

They seem to resemble a possum more than a snail.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by wolf

Anybody got recipes for armored puppy? Is it worth the trouble of extracting them from those darn shells, or do you cook 'em like clams or mussels and just sort of scoop them out?

I did a quick search and there are a number of sites with reciepes. I have never done it. They are a big pest in this area and from stuff I have read they are slowly migrating up the coast and can now be found in some southern parts of North Carolina. Eventually they will be found everywhere as they adapt.

http://plantanswers.tamu.edu/misc/ar...armadillo.html

http://www.hunter-ed.com/wildlife/sm....htm#armadillo

[Urbane Guerrilla]

Originally Posted by wolf

Anybody got recipes for armored puppy? Is it worth the trouble of extracting them from those darn shells, or do you cook 'em like clams or mussels and just sort of scoop them out?

SF author Ardath Mayhar's contribution to Serve It Forth: Cooking with Anne McCaffrey was "How (and Why) to Dress and Prepare Texas Armadillo," basically as a staple rather than a single dish. Her procedure ran like so:

If an armadillo wakes you up at four-thirty scraping along the house foundations, take your .22, shoot the armadillo. You're already awake so the report is unlikely to surprise you. Hang armadillo in tree to drain 'til morning.

Hose down well before cleaning. The belly hair is always full of grit and sand.

Wear rubber gloves to avoid any (remote) chance of contracting leprosy.

'Dillos are clean to dress out; stomach generally contains roots and grass. The upper shell isn't much problem; a sharp knife can be slipped around between shell and meat without much trouble. The underbelly is of very tough hide, hard to get into.

Disjoint with a hatchet to take apart its legs, as they are about knifeproof.

Armadillo may be roasted whole, or the haunches and shoulders for boiling. There's hardly any meat on the ribs. Once you've cleaned the meat, you may roast, boil with dumplings, or cook in a covered pan. Sounds a little like it'd braise well. The meat, says Ardath, is very tender, and a coating of seasonings (salt, pepper, sage, or other favorites) and flour holds in the juices.

For dumplings, cut meat into 1" chunks, boil until tender, adding salt and pepper to taste. Make up dumplings, simmer with armadillo chunks.

"...[A]n armadillo hunt might be a good way to learn how to hunt an alien. They are about as alien as you can get."

Roasted 'dillo might go with another recipe from the same book, Nancy Etchemendy's "Basque Potatoes with Wine."

Ingredients:
5 TBSP Olive Oil
2 cloves Garlic, peeled, mashed
1 sm Onion, peeled, sliced thin
Garlic Salt, to taste, optional
5 med Potatoes, sliced thin
Black Pepper, to taste
4 TBSP fresh Parsley, chopped
1/2 cup dry white wine, or red for a variation

Equipment: 12" frying pan, chef knife, spatula/turner. Stove too.

Heat Olive Oil in frying pan on med-high heat. Sauté Garlic and Onion until onion is transparent and just beginning to brown. Push everything to sides of pan, cover bottom of pan with layer of sliced Potatoes. Sprinkle with Salt, Pepper, and chopped Parsley. Add another layer of potatoes and sprinkle this with salt, pepper, parsley, and repeat yet again. Should have about three layers of potatoes. Scoop the onions from the pan sides onto the top of the potatoes, frying potatoes and onions until potatoes are tender, turning potatoes every four to five minutes, with the pan kept hot enough to brown the potatoes on the bottom. When all the potatoes are cooked through and some are browned and slightly crispy, pour the Wine over all. White makes for a light flavor, red more robust and better pairing with steak or lamb. A Bordeaux is particularly good this way.

On medium high heat, toss entire mixture lightly until wine has evaporated -- 2-3 minutes. Serves 4-5.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

"Armadillo Recipe" on Google

200K hits. One ought to taste good.