The Beloit College class of 2005 list

[Undertoad]

(Referenced on Fark)

I love this kinda stuff because I'm old. Every year a Benoit College humanities professor documents the generation gap between the professors and the students, by making a list of facts about the incoming freshman class. This list applies to this year's class. People older than 35 will enjoy it; people under 25 will find it too boring and obvious.

1. Most students starting college this fall were born in 1983.
2. Ricky Nelson, Marvin Gaye and Laura Ashley have always been dead.
3. The New Kids on the Block are over the hill.
4. They want to be PHAT but not fat.
5. IBM Selectrics are antiques.
6. Thongs no longer come in pairs and slide between the toes.
7. God has never been a “he” in most churches.
8. Hard copy has nothing to do with a TV show; a browser is not someone relaxing in a bookstore; a virus does not make humans sick; and a mouse is not a rodent (and there is no proper plural for it.)
9. Moscow has always been opposed to “star wars.”
10. Recording TV programs on VCRs became legal the year they were born.
11. The British Royal family has always behaved badly.
12. There has always been Diet Coke.
13. Artificial hearts have always been ticking.
14. The Social Security system has always been on the brink.
15. There have always been warnings about second-hand smoke.
16. They have never experienced a real recession.
17. A hacker is not just a kid who won’t stop fooling around.
18. Grenada has always been safe for democracy.
19. They were born the same year as the PC and the Mac.
20. The U.S. Senate has always had a daycare program.
21. One earring on a man indicates that he is probably pretty conservative.
22. CDs have always been labeled for explicit content.
23. Lethal Weapon in one form or another has always been “at the movies.”
24. Boeing has not built the 727 since they were born.
25. Sarajevo was a war zone, not an Olympic host.
26. They don’t remember Janet Jackson when she was cute and chubby.
27. Drug testing of athletes has always been routine.
28. There has always been a hole in the ozone layer.
29. They have always had access to email.
30. The Colts have always been in Indianapolis.
31. The precise location of the Titanic has always been known.
32. When they were born, Madonna was still a radiant woman holding a beatific child.
33. Jimmy Hoffa has always been officially dead.
34. Tylenol has always been impossible for children or adults to open.
35. Volkswagen beetles have always had engines in the front.
36. They do not know what the Selective Service is, but men routinely register for it on their financial aid forms.
37. Ron Howard and Rob Reiner have always been balding older film directors.
38. Cal Ripken has always been playing baseball.
39. They have probably never used carbon paper and do not know what cc and bcc mean.
40. Lasers have always been marketed as toys.
41. Major newspapers have always been printed in color.
42. Beta is a preview version of software, not a VCR format.
43. They have never known exactly what to call the rock star formerly and presently known as Prince.
44. They are the first generation to prefer tanning indoors.
45. Survivor is a TV show not a rock group.
46. They have heard “just say no” since they were toddlers.
47. Most of them know someone who was born with the help of a test tube.
48. It has paid to “Discover” since they were four.
49. Oprah has always been a national institution..
50. With a life expectancy of 77 years, they can anticipate living until about 2060.

[hermit22]

I was born in '79 and most of these are pretty true for me too. Then again, I was a culturally unaware child, so who knows.

[elSicomoro]

Interesting stuff, although...

Originally posted by Undertoad
26. They don’t remember Janet Jackson when she was cute and chubby.

Says this windbag. Janet Jackson is still beautiful as I type this. *drools*

[jaguar]

people under 25 will find it too boring and obvious.

yup

[russotto]

It's a duller list than usual. And isn't "phat" passé by now?

[elSicomoro]

Originally posted by russotto
It's a duller list than usual. And isn't "phat" passé by now?

Not from what I've seen. Of course, I still use words like "gnarly."

[That Guy]

Originally posted by sycamore
Not from what I've seen. Of course, I still use words like "gnarly."

And I bet you're older than 25, too Spicolli.

[elSicomoro]

Originally posted by blowmeetheclown
And I bet you're older than 25, too Spicolli.

Just barely...27 in a month.

[SteveDallas]

Originally posted by Undertoad

I love this kinda stuff because I'm old.

Geezer!!! (UT is, if I'm not mistaken, maybe 3 or 4 years older than me if that much.) Make room for my rocking chair!

39. They have probably never used carbon paper and do not know what cc and bcc mean.

The list could also have included ditto machines... man, there was nothing like the smell of freshly-mimeographed spelling worksheets in the morning!

43. They have never known exactly what to call the rock star formerly and presently known as Prince.

Well let's be honest, they probably haven't CARED!!

I might also have thrown in something to the effect that they've never known a world without the Sony Walkman. I think it's difficult for people who aren't old enough to remember the Walkman's introduction to realize what radical changes this seemingly trivial invention brought about.

[MaggieL]

Originally posted by kbarger
The list could also have included ditto machines... man, there was nothing like the smell of freshly-mimeographed spelling worksheets in the morning!

Of course, the author of the list probably had never seen one either.

By the way, "Ditto", also know as "Rexograph", "hectograph" or "Spirit duplication" isn't the same thing as "mimeograph".

A "spirit master" is a sheet of heavy paper, backed with a second sheet of paper, which is dye-impregnated, with the dye facing the back of the first sheet, like ass-backwards carbon paper.

You typed, wrote or drew your material onto the front sheet, resulting in transfer of the dye to the back of the sheet, which was then detached and mounted on a drum on the duplicator machine. (Multicolor was possible by using multiple sheets of dye in turn.) The duplicator had a reservoir filled with "duplicating fluid", which was mostly denatured methanol, as I recall (hence the delightful smell). The machine, cranked by hand, had a wick that wet each sheet of paper with the methanol, then pressed the paper to the drum, where the methanol dissolved a film of dye from the surface of the master.

Mimeographs, on the other hand, used a permeable drum filled with carbon-black based oily ink, which it would force though a wax-impregnated "stencil". The stencils were prepared on a typewriter (which had a setting for disabling the ribbon), with hand-writing or artwork rendered into the wax with a metal stylus. Wherever the wax was scraped away, the ink seeped though to the paper. Freah mimeography had it's own characteristic smell, from the oil in the ink.

As a cleryman's kid, I had the opportunity to gain experience with both methods, which were used to produce church bulletins and newsletters.

[hermit22]

One thing that I think is more telling: my generation can't even consider a world without ATMs on every corner. Hell, I barely remember what it was like before the whole check card thing happened. I was the first one of my friends to get one of those simply because I was a year younger, so I opened a checking account a year later than them, and they were standard by that time.

[MaggieL]

Originally posted by hermit22
One thing that I think is more telling: my generation can't even consider a world without ATMs on every corner.

I was working in the computing department of a bank when that all started. My boss referred to what we now call ATMs as "tit-less tellers".

[SteveDallas]

Originally posted by hermit22
One thing that I think is more telling: my generation can't even consider a world without ATMs on every corner.

That's another good one! My wife is several years older than I am, and I remember once when we were dating, both university students, must have been 1988 or so, she was killing herself to finish something on Friday afternoon so she could go to the bank. "You have a card from your bank, right?" "Yeah..." "And your bank has a teller machine in the student center?" "Yeah..." "So you're in a hurry to drive down to the bank branch and withdraw some money before the bank closes... because... why?" "Ummmm....."

[elSicomoro]

Along with ATMs, Direct Deposit kicks ass. Although, my stone-age employer does not offer this service...wha?!

[Undertoad]

That brings us back to old-timers and young-timers. When I first went to work it was for a big ol' multi-national corporation and they were one of the first to enforce that all employees HAD to have direct deposit. This was 1985.

And the older folks were throwing fits about it. Oh my gawd you would have thought the company was stealing their money. They really wanted that piece of paper to hold to show they'd made money.

And then, each week they'd get the STUB for their deposit, and treat it like gold. This old guy I worked with just couldn't get through his day on payday unless he knew where his stub was. The envelope used to contain a check, but now it only contained a receipt - but no matter, he would get that thing and treasure it. Me, I littered the bottom of my car with 'em, and the old guys would complain that I had no respect.