It's a Dog's Life I

Hippikos · 10-25-2006, 07:39 AM

Moron is an addict

'Hello, my name is Moron and I'm an alcoholic'
Thank you for coming Moron, what would you like to share
'Well, Hip had a dinner party at the weekend, lots of wine'
Yes go on
'Well they all went to bed and I got out, there was a half bottle of wine on the floor by the sofa with the cork only partly put into the bottle. I like to play with corks so I chewed it.'
That doesn't make you an alcoholic Moron
'Well, I knocked over the bottle and it started gurgling onto the carpet and I started drinking it. It tasted better than a puddle. Then the light went on and Hip was standing there. I was caught drinking on my own, in the dark behind a sofa.'
And what did Hip say?
'He said have you learnt how to use a f*@king corkscrew? how did you do that? BED. BED NOW...Jesus, look at the carpet'
'He made me come here, I don't think I have a problem'

Ibby · 10-25-2006, 08:43 AM

Wow, its usually just my parents that stain the carpet red with wine at odd hours of the morning. They must drink like, a bottle a day...

My dog is much better behaved than them in that respect, definitely.

Undertoad · 10-25-2006, 08:49 AM

have you learnt how to use a f*@king corkscrew?

10-25-2006, 08:55 AM

Next time, go for the kind that has caps instead of corks. That should foil Moron's drinking problem.

Flint · 10-25-2006, 08:56 AM

Paraphrase, Jake Johansen:
when you leave your house your dog is like "but I don't know how to work the can-opener!"
while your cat is like "what did you do with those black pants?"

lumberjim · 10-25-2006, 09:20 AM

you named your dog 'moron'? that's just rude. i wonder what his name for you is?

10-25-2006, 07:39 AM	#1
Hippikos Flocci Non Facio Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: In The Line Of Fire Posts: 571	It's a Dog's Life I Moron is an addict 'Hello, my name is Moron and I'm an alcoholic' Thank you for coming Moron, what would you like to share 'Well, Hip had a dinner party at the weekend, lots of wine' Yes go on 'Well they all went to bed and I got out, there was a half bottle of wine on the floor by the sofa with the cork only partly put into the bottle. I like to play with corks so I chewed it.' That doesn't make you an alcoholic Moron 'Well, I knocked over the bottle and it started gurgling onto the carpet and I started drinking it. It tasted better than a puddle. Then the light went on and Hip was standing there. I was caught drinking on my own, in the dark behind a sofa.' And what did Hip say? 'He said have you learnt how to use a f@king corkscrew? how did you do that? BED. BED NOW...Jesus, look at the carpet' 'He made me come here, I don't think I have a problem' __________________ Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.*

10-25-2006, 08:43 AM	#2
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	Wow, its usually just my parents that stain the carpet red with wine at odd hours of the morning. They must drink like, a bottle a day... My dog is much better behaved than them in that respect, definitely. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

10-25-2006, 08:56 AM	#5
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	Paraphrase, Jake Johansen: when you leave your house your dog is like "but I don't know how to work the can-opener!" while your cat is like "what did you do with those black pants?" __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-25-2006, 09:20 AM	#6
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	you named your dog 'moron'? that's just rude. i wonder what his name for you is? __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-25-2006, 08:49 AM	#3
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	have you learnt how to use a f@king corkscrew?*

10-25-2006, 08:55 AM	#4
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	Next time, go for the kind that has caps instead of corks. That should foil Moron's drinking problem.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)