I didn't want to derail the humor thread

lookout123 · 08-11-2005, 08:49 AM

So I'll start the trainwreck in motion here. this popped up in my email this morning. I've seen similar ones before, but I thought i'd pop it up here.

Do you remember?

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by

a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. a Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred
by

a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:

a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old
American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair
by:

a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver
trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:

a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:

a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women
problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles
to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one
crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by
the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:

a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Nope, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you?
So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics
intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be
allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of
80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper
identification, secret agents who are members of the President's
security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of
Honor winning and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males
between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest we be guilty of profiling.

Bullitt · 08-11-2005, 09:08 AM

It only takes one homegrown terrorist (OK City bombing) to instill the fear that the next attack could come from anyone.

plthijinx · 08-11-2005, 09:24 AM

there are a bunch more "d" than homegrowns.

Bullitt · 08-11-2005, 09:26 AM

Yeah there are, but what scares you more, the rabid bear that gets in your tent, or the ones you can't see in the woods around you?

Trilby · 08-11-2005, 09:28 AM

I think the whole "don't profile!" thing is absolutely counterintuitive and just plain stupid. Ya know what? I profile everybody as I go through my daily life. If I worked in security, I'd profile your ass. It's smart, it makes sense, it works.

Bullitt · 08-11-2005, 09:31 AM

I agree completely, I'm just exploring the reasons behind the general populace's train of thought

Troubleshooter · 08-11-2005, 09:45 AM

Profiling can cut both ways.

A friend of mine, a police officer, has arrested a number of white people because they were in the wrong neighborhood.

plthijinx · 08-11-2005, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bullitt

Yeah there are, but scares you more, the rabid bear that gets in your tent, or the ones you can't see in the woods around you

well said. i just do my best to be aware of my surroundings.

profiling is the best way to go. this random crap....ugh. an old man or woman with a walker is going to hijack a plane? yeah, if someone is out of place, damn straight, question them.

Hobbs · 08-11-2005, 09:59 AM

The only reason why "profiling" is frowned upon these days is because it's not PC. Because it tends to target the minorities. We are so wrapped up in trying not to offend anybody that we are going to literally kill ourselves trying to be "nice." I agree with Brianna. Profiling works. If a certain group of people (race, religion, etc.) is primarily responsible for committing certain crimes, then it is prudent to watch those who fit in that bracket. If white, protestant, irish skinny guys were responsible for blowing up shit all over the world, sure I might be a little uncomfortable being profiled, but I guess I would have to understand. Maybe it would serve as incentive for me to become proactive and protest against those responsible for the profiling instead of those who are only doing thier jobs and doing the profiling.

Bullitt · 08-11-2005, 10:03 AM

Kind of like how we wish the majority of peace loving Iraqis/Muslims would rise up against the violent minority that is ruining their country's/region's future, and giving all Muslims the bad rap.

plthijinx · 08-11-2005, 10:13 AM

i can't stand political correctness. it's a waste of time. friggin eutopians.

Elspode · 08-11-2005, 12:23 PM

Better to die a politically correct terrorist target than a racist security freak, sez The Left.

The latest round in PC stupidity has me wondering when this will spread to professional athletics.

I'm not letting it bother me, though. I have been gifted with season tickets for the Kansas City Oppressed Native American Tribal Authority Figures' 2005-2006 season, and I am very much looking forward to their first preseason game tomorrow night when they play the Minnesota Northern European Indigenous Seafaring Warriors & Explorers. Also up on the schedule this year:

The New York Gas Turbine Powered Aircraft
The Oakland Oceaneering Criminals
The Denver Male Undomesticated Horses Being Exploited for Public Amusement
The Philadelphia Large Opportunistic Seabirds with Sociological Implications
The Washington Exterminated Indiginous North Americans
The Miami Aquatic Mammals Threatened by Indiscriminate Tuna Fishing
The San Diego Ecologically Sound Battery Replenishment Devices
The Buffalo Large Native Exploited Shaggy Herd Animals
The Houston Potential Sucessionists
The New England Avid Proponents of American Sociology and History
The Dallas Exploiters of Innocent Farm Animals
The New York Vertically Exceptional Individuals
The Cincinatti Endangered Feline Species

Should be a great season...

Undertoad · 08-11-2005, 12:36 PM

Hee hee! Yes, we have a game coming up against the Pittsburgh Historically Repressed Metalwork Factory Laborers.

Bullitt · 08-11-2005, 12:44 PM

I hope my Tenneassee Enormous Ancient Greek Bad Guys do better this season.. I'm sure they'll have no problem against The Cleveland ..
crap I can't think of anything else for brown!

Hobbs · 08-11-2005, 12:51 PM

Well, once you guys meet up with our Arizona Big Red Whinner Birds With An Overpriced God-Awful-ugly New Stadium, then all you guys will be sorry.

Hike!

08-11-2005, 08:49 AM	#1
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	I didn't want to derail the humor thread So I'll start the trainwreck in motion here. this popped up in my email this morning. I've seen similar ones before, but I thought i'd pop it up here. Do you remember? 1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by a. Superman b. Jay Leno c. Harry Potter d. a Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40 2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by a. Olga Corbett b. Sitting Bull c. Arnold Schwarzenegger d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by: a. Lost Norwegians b. Elvis c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by: a. John Dillinger b. The King of Sweden c. The Boy Scouts d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by: a. A pizza delivery boy b. Pee Wee Herman c. Geraldo Rivera d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by: a. The Smurfs b. Davy Jones c. The Little Mermaid d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by: a. Captain Kidd b. Charles Lindberg c. Mother Teresa d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by: a. Scooby Doo b. The Tooth Fairy c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by: a. Richard Simmons b. Grandma Moses c. Michael Jordan d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by: a. Mr. Rogers b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems c. The World Wrestling Federation d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by: a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd b. The Supreme Court of Florida c. Mr. Bean d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against: a. Enron b. The Lutheran Church c. The NFL d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by: a. Bonnie and Clyde b. Captain Kangaroo c. Billy Graham d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 Nope, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest we be guilty of profiling. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

08-11-2005, 09:08 AM	#2
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	It only takes one homegrown terrorist (OK City bombing) to instill the fear that the next attack could come from anyone. __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

08-11-2005, 09:24 AM	#3
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	there are a bunch more "d" than homegrowns. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

08-11-2005, 09:26 AM	#4
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	Yeah there are, but what scares you more, the rabid bear that gets in your tent, or the ones you can't see in the woods around you? __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass. Last edited by Bullitt; 08-11-2005 at 09:58 AM.

08-11-2005, 09:28 AM	#5
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I think the whole "don't profile!" thing is absolutely counterintuitive and just plain stupid. Ya know what? I profile everybody as I go through my daily life. If I worked in security, I'd profile your ass. It's smart, it makes sense, it works. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

08-11-2005, 09:31 AM	#6
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	I agree completely, I'm just exploring the reasons behind the general populace's train of thought __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

08-11-2005, 09:45 AM	#7
Troubleshooter The urban Jane Goodall Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 3,012	Profiling can cut both ways. A friend of mine, a police officer, has arrested a number of white people because they were in the wrong neighborhood. __________________ I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. - Aristotle

08-11-2005, 09:59 AM	#9
Hobbs Professor for the school of ass-clownery Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Surprise! Posts: 404	The only reason why "profiling" is frowned upon these days is because it's not PC. Because it tends to target the minorities. We are so wrapped up in trying not to offend anybody that we are going to literally kill ourselves trying to be "nice." I agree with Brianna. Profiling works. If a certain group of people (race, religion, etc.) is primarily responsible for committing certain crimes, then it is prudent to watch those who fit in that bracket. If white, protestant, irish skinny guys were responsible for blowing up shit all over the world, sure I might be a little uncomfortable being profiled, but I guess I would have to understand. Maybe it would serve as incentive for me to become proactive and protest against those responsible for the profiling instead of those who are only doing thier jobs and doing the profiling. __________________ That's it! Send in the chimps!

08-11-2005, 10:03 AM	#10
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	Kind of like how we wish the majority of peace loving Iraqis/Muslims would rise up against the violent minority that is ruining their country's/region's future, and giving all Muslims the bad rap. __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

08-11-2005, 10:13 AM	#11
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	i can't stand political correctness. it's a waste of time. friggin eutopians. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

08-11-2005, 12:23 PM	#12
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Better to die a politically correct terrorist target than a racist security freak, sez The Left. The latest round in PC stupidity has me wondering when this will spread to professional athletics. I'm not letting it bother me, though. I have been gifted with season tickets for the Kansas City Oppressed Native American Tribal Authority Figures' 2005-2006 season, and I am very much looking forward to their first preseason game tomorrow night when they play the Minnesota Northern European Indigenous Seafaring Warriors & Explorers. Also up on the schedule this year: The New York Gas Turbine Powered Aircraft The Oakland Oceaneering Criminals The Denver Male Undomesticated Horses Being Exploited for Public Amusement The Philadelphia Large Opportunistic Seabirds with Sociological Implications The Washington Exterminated Indiginous North Americans The Miami Aquatic Mammals Threatened by Indiscriminate Tuna Fishing The San Diego Ecologically Sound Battery Replenishment Devices The Buffalo Large Native Exploited Shaggy Herd Animals The Houston Potential Sucessionists The New England Avid Proponents of American Sociology and History The Dallas Exploiters of Innocent Farm Animals The New York Vertically Exceptional Individuals The Cincinatti Endangered Feline Species Should be a great season... __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog Last edited by Elspode; 08-11-2005 at 12:55 PM.

08-11-2005, 12:36 PM	#13
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Hee hee! Yes, we have a game coming up against the Pittsburgh Historically Repressed Metalwork Factory Laborers.

08-11-2005, 12:44 PM	#14
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	I hope my Tenneassee Enormous Ancient Greek Bad Guys do better this season.. I'm sure they'll have no problem against The Cleveland .. crap I can't think of anything else for brown! __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

08-11-2005, 12:51 PM	#15
Hobbs Professor for the school of ass-clownery Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Surprise! Posts: 404	Well, once you guys meet up with our Arizona Big Red Whinner Birds With An Overpriced God-Awful-ugly New Stadium, then all you guys will be sorry. Hike! __________________ That's it! Send in the chimps!

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