Crossroads

[lookout123]

Crossroads. I'm not there yet, but I can see it in the distance. A decision to be made, a path to be chosen, a reality to be accepted. I keep thinking that if I just put my head down and ignore it, that it will go away. Not unexpectedly, every time I look up again, it is still there. Have you ever experienced that?

As many of you know I spend my time away from the cellar as a financial advisor. I talk with people about money. I teach people how to invest their money in a way suited to reach their goals, whatever they may be. I help people plan for retirement, begin retirement, live through that retirement, and then plan for the passing of their assets and possessions to the next generation. It isn't rocket science and it isn't really that hard. The most stressful part is informing some of them that they haven't saved enough to reach their goals. The most enjoyable part is teaching someone what to do after finding they've saved far more than they actually need. The hard part of my actual job is getting new clients. Lately, I just haven't been motivated to get new clients. I work by referral with no outside advertising. I've found that the advertising doesn't bring a very good return on investment so I just don't bother with that expense anymore.

In exchange for what I do I am paid handsomely. I am able to provide a comfortable life for my family. So what's the problem, you ask? Passion. It's gone. I just don't have the passion for what I do that I see in some of my peers anymore. That has bothered me for some time. I'm good at what I do. I care very deeply about the commitment I have made to my clients and I value the trust they've place in me. But it has really bothered me that I seem to have lost the passion. In the last couple days, though, I have come to a startling conclusion. I never had the passion that I see in my peers. I had passion about what I was doing, but as I look a bit more closely I realize that I had a passion for learning how to do this, a passion to be better than the others, a passion to help my clients. I finally recognize that isn't the depth of passion that differentiates my peers from me, it is the source of that passion.

My peers are passionate about the money. They are passionate about building personal wealth. They are passionate about beating each other to "the goal", whatever that is. Biggest practice, most toys, fanciest house, whatever. That is the source of the passion. That is what drives them to go out and get another client, stay late for an appointment, etc. That is a thirst that is unquenchable. My passion was/is to learn, build, help - all intangibles. All accomplishable/accomplished.

Hell, I work in the arena of money and the money isn't driving me. See a problem here? How do I find the motivation to keep going and do more? Because, let's face it - more is what is needed to put food on the table. I've been here before and it is a dangerous place. I've found myself bored. I've found myself daydreaming about doing something "that matters". Fortunately, every time I've been at that spot I've been able to see some new challenge that seemed to fit the bill. Unfortunately, I am now at a place, that in theory does all those things and I'm still not satisfied. I am in a great career that I know I am lucky to have. To walk away would be the height of foolishness.

So what do I do? The crossroads is coming up. I either have to find some motivation to focus me, or I have to walk away. I can't spend the next 20-30 years pretending there isn't a problem.

I've begun to hatch a plan that would give me a new challenge while expanding my practice and generating more income in the long haul. In all honesty, it gives me an escape route if I decide at some time in the future I'm done with this and leave to...? I'm considering bringing a couple advisors on board; experienced guys from my old firm that know their way around. They will make more money here. I will make more money. I will be challenged by the logistics of expanding a one man show into a true financial services company. I'm also thinking that having these other people around might spark some of my competitiveness and give me the kick in the butt I need to up my production. And if all else fails and I'm bored and miserable in a couple of years, I can sell the firm to these guys and feel comfortable that my clients would be well cared for.

I don't know. This post is just so much rambling, but if I dropped this load on my family or friends they would probably all drop a load in shock. Like I said, money is the driving force that motivates the people around me to work hard, so they don't/won't understand being dissatisfied in a field where money is as easy to make as you want it to be. Yeah, I know, shitty problem to have right? Then why am I so dissatisfied?