Mall Walking

[monster]

It's official. I am now an middle-aged midwesterner. Today I went walking in the mall for exercise. I'm going to change my name to Shirley, get a tight perm and strap on an enormous fanny pack and my assimilation will be complete.

My friend and I have a regular walking date twice a week, but at -19ºC this morning, an outside walk was just not going to happen, so off we went to the mall to give mall-walking a try. The stores were still all closed, although Arby's had a sign up promising to open at 9 with special offers for mall walkers on "fried potatoe". There were a lot of people there. All going in the same direction. We decided not to rebel and joined them. There seems to be a set course, going up and down all the little offshoot hallways and round the outside of all the trash cans and signs. We could feel rays of disapproval as we cut corners to overtake slowpokes without breaking our stride. Some walkers were so anal about following the course, they would go right into the corner and then almost stop and turn an abrupt 90 just as I thought they were going to smack into the wall for my entertainment.

There was a huge group of seniors at one end doing an organized workout. They started in chairs, but as we were finishing they were doing some pretty enthusisatic dancercize, and us walkers had to wait in line and take it in turn to dart past one gentleman as his flailing arems were at the far point of their motion. Three fast or one slow person could get through per flail, he was grinning like a nutter, completely oblivious to our peril.

And then there were the scary moms with strollers doing a vigorous program at the other end of the mall. Mom in charge must've been thrown out of the army for getting knocked up. The strollers were like mini SUVs and the moms were all about 12 years old. Scary.

But we were able to walk at a good pace without fear of slipping on the ice or getting frostbite, so it was a good workout. Scenery not so awesone -usually we walk in parks and nature preserves.....

Ho hum, needs must....

no particular point to this post, just thought I'd share my new experience and pat myself on the back for exercising.

Am I the only dwellar to have succumbed to such suburban pursuits, or are you all secret or out-and-proud mall-walkers?