We're Gonna Be Toast!

[Pangloss62]

The below is from www.theweekmagazine.com

This is The End?
6/30/2006

Like it or not, preparations for The End are underway. Pastors of America’s evangelical megachurches, the Los Angeles Times reports this week, have launched a “Billion Souls Initiative” to reach every heathen on Earth. “Our whole purpose is to hasten the End Times,” says Bill McCartney, co-founder of the evangelical group Promise Keepers. He’s doing his part by trying to convert mass numbers of Jews to Christianity as quickly as possible. Those who fail to heed Christ’s message, McCartney warns, are “toast.” Iran’s alarming president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is just as eager to see infidels turned to toast. Within two years, he says, the Mahdi, the last of the Prophet Mohammed’s heirs, will return to Tehran, ushering in a bloody, cataclysmic confrontation with the non-Muslim world.

Assorted crackpots have been predicting the end of the world for thousands of years now, to their eternal disappointment. So it’s tempting to wave off this latest crop of doomsayers with a bit of eye-rolling. But times have changed since the 15th century, even if some folks’ religious ideology has not. Even without the Almighty’s help, it really now is possible for some true believer like Ahmadinejad to make radioactive toast of large portions of the human race. Even in our own, enlightened nation, 40 percent of the population believes the End Times are nigh, according to several polls, and they have substantial political influence. If a bloody cataclysm in Israel is all part of a vengeful God’s grand plan, why bother trying to negotiate a peace? Why not welcome a global religious war between Christianity and Islam? Strange questions for a species that’s come so far over the past two millennia, and yet has not.

William Falk
Editor-in-chief

I went to the "Billion Souls Initiative" and found this quote from the leader of their "National Evangelical Team:"
The core value of The N.E.T. to create win-win partnership for the fulfillment of the Great Commission in our lifetime.

"core value," "win-win partnership," It all sounds like a bad Powerpoint presentation at some giant corporation. And basically, that's what it is:

SAVE BIG BY REGISTERING EARLY
In Advance $59
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These evangelical mega-events rake in the bucks. Here in Atlanta, the city has spent taxpayer money to put up banners welcoming all the people going to T.D. "Woman Thou Art Loosed" Jakes MegaFest. They say it's "The Hottest Christian Festival on the planet!" Hey, who cares about church/state separation when you can get people into hotels and eating at local restaurants. Atlanta has always whored itself out; remember the 96 Olympics?


Look at all those paying customers in the Georgia Dome. Their money has been "loosed."

Last time they had MegaFest they brought in that charlatan Benny Hinn, that creepy Indian guy who performs bogus faith healings on stage. He should be thrown in Jail.

I think I'll go out of town when MegaFest comes in.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Or fill your pockets with brimstone and walk around the place cackling and writing invisible notes in on a clipboard with a chopstick painted yellow.

[Elspode]

What I worry about is believers of this Apocalypse Now stuff holding high office in our country, and actively working to hasten the End Times.

Oh...too late.

Frankly, I think I'm going to convert to Judaism, let lose all those plague carrying prairie dogs just down the road across the NM state line, and challenge Death to a good game of chess. I'm not a very good chess player, everyone, but maybe that will give all the rest of you time to convert to Judaism, as well, and stop the Promise Keepers in their tracks. If anyone has a better plan, I'm open.